Chapter 143

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I'm either a good liar or my friends have given up on me. I don't mind either of these things. I know I have caused everyone around me enough trouble and I don't expect them to help me anymore. They deserve to live their life the way they want without needing to worry about me.

It's been a few days since Silas showed up at my place. I lied to him when I said I didn't hear my phone because I was napping. He called me before I went to take a nap. I didn't want to pick up.

I made the decision to get out of his life and although it is hard to do so, I know that it's the right thing to do. He has a girlfriend now and I'm trying to accept that he can no longer be mine. But just because I'm trying to come to terms with my new reality, that doesn't mean that I'm strong enough to maintain a friendship with him.

I truly value all his efforts to make sure that I'm okay, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that my presence in his life isn't healthy at all. He needs to have a normal life away from me.

My heart broke when I learned that he started dating Maisie, but I knew that was bound to happen sooner or later. She is a beautiful girl who seems to be fun, and they have been spending a lot of time together, so what would hold him from dating her?

It's Friday already. I lied to my parents and told them I had important projects I needed to work on, so I wouldn't be able to go to their place this weekend. I can go, but I don't want to. I want to spend some time alone.

In fact, I'm going out tonight all alone. I plan on having a drink or two. I don't want to get shitfaced, but I just want to drink a little. They say alcohol numbs the pain a little and I need to numb my pain.

I never thought that getting my memory back would be that painful. The doctors didn't prepare me for this moment. Lately, I have been remembering a lot of things; however, sometimes, I can't help but wonder whether I'm truly remembering things or tricking my mind into making false memories based on what I have been told by Silas, my friends and my family.

I know I could ask them, but I don't want to. I want to be alone for a while. Maybe if I spend more time alone I will be able to figure things out in a better way.

I put on something nice and apply make up before heading out of my apartment. I wish I could move out of this apartment to be away from Silas, but my parents won't like this idea.

Since I plan on drinking, I opt for taking an Uber instead of driving. I don't plan on putting myself or any other person in danger. To be honest, I'm nervous. I have never drunk before, but what's the worst that's going to happen? It's not like I plan on getting completely drunk, but that doesn't take away the anxiousness I'm feeling.

bar and I sharply inhale. For a moment, I think about going back home, but even if

the pub and head straight to the bar. This place is nicer than the one Everest took me to. For

bartender asks for my ID and I feign being confident as I show him the fake ID I bought. Luckily, the bartender bought my lie. It's probably because of the make up I have on. I have applied a slightly heavier amount

before I know it. I thought the taste would be heavier, but

as he brings himself beside me. I'm not interested in

my own," I reply without

eyes and ignore him I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone. "Come on. Let's have some fun," he stresses. I feel him place his hand on the small of my back, but I

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09:22 Mon, Oct 28

Chapter 143

I snap

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going to get the bouncer to throw you out," the bartender chimes in

before walking away.

you." I smile at

It feels like I don't belong anywhere. I sometimes wonder if I'm a parasite that's trying to latch on to whatever surface it can find. "Can you make me

to numb my pain, I decide that it's time for me to leave. The thing is, I know I'm too drunk to leave on my own and I'm scared of ordering Uber. I reach for my phone and after five minutes of thinking, I decide to call Knox. I'm not going to ask Sabrina

This is my first time to

right?" He sounds worried.

you think you can pick me up?" I embarrassingly

your location and I will pick you up." After hanging

arrives. I don't know what I'm doing to myself, but all

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