The Accidental Wife by Sara Islam

Chapter

180

Ten new novels, her favorite chocolate, a vacation to a place she loves and a paper that proves my enrolment in an alcohol rehabilitation program. I know that this isn't enough, but this can be a good start, right? I love Rosie so much to let her go and for the past months, I

made one mistake after the other. They're all big enough to drive her away from me and I can't let this happen.

It's been two days since the fashion show I didn't attend. It kills me that I wasn't there for her. I wasn't with her to celebrate her success. Mum told me that she waited for me for the whole damn night and I, being the disappointment I am, didn't show up for her. I made her upset on a very important night for her and I'm willing to do anything to fix that, but I can't turn back time. If I could, I would be there three hours early.

She hasn't said a word to me during those two days and while I understand how terribly I fucked up, I miss her. I miss her voice and the way she bickers with me. I miss eating our meals together. I miss sleeping beside her. I miss everything about my wife and there's nobody to blame but me. Is it weird that I miss the way she admonishes me whenever she sees me with a beer in my hand or any alcohol? T

But I'm going to fix it all. I'm going to make her see that she means the world to me and I'm not going to watch as she slips away from my fingers.

I had physiotherapy this morning and after I was done, I went to a bookstore and bought her some novels I knew she'd like. Luckily, I still have access to the books she hasn't read yet. Since know how busy she has been lately, I bought all the new releases she added to her 'to be read' list.

My beautiful wife loves chocolate so much, so a basket full of her favorite types can help me out a little. I have dug my grave too deep and I'm trying to do everything in my power to get out.

I remember having a conversation with her about going on vacation after her fashion show. Now that the fashion show is over, we can go on this vacation. I'm going to take her on a new honeymoon. I'm going to give her a wonderful time because she deserves the best. She has been by my side and I have stupidly taken her for granted. However, this stops now. I'm not going to mistreat her ever again. I'm going to show her what she means to me.

may

We

she's the love of my life and I'm done being a stupid prick. I went to a therapist yesterday and we talked for almost two hours. I told her about the dark thoughts that had been taking over my mind. I told her about my new coping mechanism. I was honest with her from the very first moment.

It made me realize that I was ruining everything with my stupidity. I was not going to let alcohol take Rosie away from me and even if she's my only motivation to get better, so be it. I don't need a bigger

document that shows I enrolled in the program. I want her to know

me the silent treatinent. I look for her everywhere downstairs and she's nowhere to be seen. I make my way to the backyard, yet she's nowhere to be found. Where is she?

that I'm ready to change. Part of me is excited to share with her the steps I have taken, but the other part is scared that she may show indifference. I know that I have caused all of this,

a strong hold on my heart. Whenever I upset

our bedroom after knocking, yet

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she's not there. After fashion shows, Rosie prefers to take a few days off, away from the office and any sort of work. Just as I'm about to close the door, something catches my attention. A letter is placed against the sage green vase

feeling that I'm not going to like whatever is written? I set the basket and the books aside and make my way to the table. I reach for the letter and open it, trying to convince myself that nothing bad is written in

I kept telling myself that all of that was nothing but a phase, but

want. This marriage cannot work anymore. You're no longer the man I fell in love with and lately, I have been hurting so much, so I need to walk away, Silas. I need to put myself first because this type of life you've been giving me lately is going

you the