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Chapter 184

We have all just arrived this morning to Puerto Rico and by all, I mean the bridal party. I'm so happy for my best friend and I can tell that she is excited for her bachelorette trip. Despite the happiness I'm feeling for her, it pains me that I'm not fully happy. I thought that by leaving I would be able to keep Silas out of my mind, but it looks like I was wrong.

Silas is pretty resilient. He hasn't stopped messaging me on all my social media accounts and he has even sent messages with Scarlett and Mum. I admire his persistence, but I hate that it appeared after I left.

I should use this trip to unwind. I should do everything in my power to stop thinking about Silas. I exhale, taking in a long shaky breath that barely reaches my lungs. I need to make the most out of this trip.

Leaving Silas is my choice. It's a decision I made after thinking for too long. Why am I questioning everything now? I sometimes feel like I'm going crazy. But I also think that what's going on in my head is normal. I have ended a relationship that lasted for more than five years. Why am I expecting myself to forget everything in the blink of an eye?

"Rosie! Aren't you coming?" Sabrina excitedly hollers. I take a deep breath and look at her with a big smile on my face. I should be a good friend and refrain from ruining her trip.

"Coming!" We're going to spend at least three hours at the spa. There are six of us and luckily, the group is bitches free. We're all amicable with one another and our main goal is to make Sabrina happy.

The atmosphere of the spa is quite soothing. I can feel my tense body gradually relaxing just by smelling the nice aroma that fills the air. Even the music is calm and relaxing.

"Would you like a masseuse or a masseur?" The receptionist asks us.

"A masseuse please," Sabrina quickly says, making the girls snicker beside her.

"It's your bachelorette trip, Rina! You gotta loosen up a little!" Ava, one of her close friends, encourages her.

"Still, I want a masseuse." Sabrina shrugs. I know that she won't pick a masseur. She has already asked me to not surprise her with a stripper, stating that she felt it was some sort of cheating.

thinking. When she threw me my bachelorette party, I told her I didn't want the stripper to touch me if she planned on getting me one. I was thankful that she honored my wish. "I want a masseuse too, please," I tell the receptionist. I'm not ready yet to feel another man's touch on my body. I may have taken off my ring, but that doesn't mean that

and betraying him is something I can never do. At the end of the day, I'm still his wife. I'm his wife until he signs the papers and gives them

the bed and the masseuse immediately starts working. My body is tense due to the thoughts running in my head.

she starts massaging my scalp. In some way, the thoughts stop for a few moments, giving me the chance to enjoy the music in the background. The session is supposedly an hour, but when the masseuse announces that the session is over, it feels like I have only been here for five minutes. She

any sunburns, because none of us wants to look fried in her dress,

you for giving me the trip of a lifetime." Sabrina looks

Chapter 184

say, doing up. "Yow bever

happy though? Her

b

to town. Well, I know from 1 feeling and it's surely not happiness. I have experienced hugg Asher on users occasions. I have d'on experiment partial happiness. And what I'm

of them

how I'm feeling right now I

Box priness at the only feeling

I felt as lost was when I woke up from the wadent able to remember

I will get there." I offer

sometimes find myself thinking

myself to believe it whenever he says he's ready to change. I heard him

waste because you're trying to prove something to yourself," Sabrina tells me. I'm not going to play

my marriage

doing the

questions. I don't know

beach, we all head to our rooms to relax. Sabrina and

long time," Sabrina murmurs as the gets under the soft white

time at the beach. I didn't even swim for long," I say as I do the same thing. "We should be at the club at ten, so we have a lot of time to waste on

when we wake up, I call room service to bring us dinner to our suite. I also make sure to get dinner for the rest of the

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