The Accidental Wife by Sara Islam

Chapter

185

I'm nervous. I haven't seen Knox since he was in California to attend Rosie's fashion show. The fact that my best friend attended my wife's fashion show and I didn't proves how much of a fuck-up I am.

It's not only that, but I made him question whether my wife was safe with me or not. I spoke like an empty-headed asshole who was full of arrogance. When I got drunk while we were hanging out together, I revealed to him a side of me he had never seen. Frankly, that side was new to me. It didn't exist at college and neither did it exist before the accident.

As I look at all that I have been doing for the past few months, shame fills me. How did I allow myself to turn into that atrocious version of me?

"Hi Knox," I say when he opens the front door of his house. I'm not sure if I'm still the best man at his wedding or not. I messed up big time and I never apologized. I'm here now to do it though. He seems surprised to see me. Maybe it's because I haven't told him I will be coming. I was scared of telling him because I didn't want to hear him tell me that he didn't want

to see me.

I can't take the loss of another important person. I'm hanging by a thread.

For the past few days, that's all that I have been doing. I have been trying to fix my mistakes and pick up the mess I made. I have my doubts and sometimes, I tend to think that I have already lost everything and nothing I do will fix what I ruined, but I would rather try than keep thinking about the what-ifs.

"Hi, man. Come on in." He welcomes me into his home, which is a good start. He would have kicked me out if he was mad at me, right?

My heart is beating fast. I guess this is how one feels when they terribly mess up. I have been friends with Knox for more than seven years and it would really crush me if I lost him because of my own stupidity.

"Do you want something to drink?" he asks me, as I follow him to the kitchen.

water," I reply, taking a seat on the

He has been vocal about his dislike for the new terrible habit I picked. Now that I'm trying to recover, he also lets me know how he truly feels about this. "I have been sober for ten days

before reaching your three months of sobriety. Everything counts and I'm proud of you for finally realizing that you need to act quickly," he

fax

to... apologize for the way I acted when you were at my place." Apologize seems to be too small express my true intentions. "I was at a really dark place and frankly, I'm probably still there, but I'm doing my best to not give in, and I mistakingly took it out on the people I

for a couple of seconds before he starts laughing, bending down and clutching his stomach.

think that I would stop being your friend because of that one incident? You're such a moron," he comments, taking me by

thought I messed up big time," I

"Unless you're trying

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Dec 2

Chapter 185-

friend smirks, making me

heavy load I have been bearing has just

wife, but what I did to her

living room. We take a seat on the dark grey couch, and I lean back

okay, but I don't know anything about her whereabouts. The thing is... her birthday is in two days, and this is the first time I don't get to spend it with her." I have already bought her gift, but I don't know if she is going to accept it

more days to see her. I don't think I have the required patience for such an impossible task. If I know where she is, I'm going to get to her and do whatever it

will be able to get in

but for a second, his words

her bachelorette party, right?" I quickly