We couldn't have s*x and yet I couldn't stop the intrusive thoughts.

"Baby". His voice soft he reached for my hand. "Look at me".

I couldn't. I could already feel how red my face was becoming. I was struggling handle this.

"I won't be long". He got to his feet kissing the top of my head before he left.

I liked that he didn't pressure me into talking about it. That would only embarrass me more. How could I talk about something I had no control over?

I sorted myself a hot drink and turned the tv on. Not that I seen much because it wasn't long before my eyes grew heavy and I fell asleep.

Stretching out my limbs I rubbed my face before opening my eyes.

"Alanna?". I frowned.

"Finally". She looked up from her phone. "You snore really bad".

"I do not". Sitting up a yawn escaped my mouth. "Is Jake not home?".

"He's still with my dad. We're going for lunch I'm starving".

"Hungover?". I grinned.

"Dying a little inside". She made a face. "Never drinking again".

Rolling my eyes I sat up swinging my legs off the couch. "Pretty sure I've heard that before". Pulling on my sneakers I got to my feet. "Good night then?". "It was alright". She shrugged. "You didn't miss much".

"Hm". I muttered.

"Okay it was more than alright but seriously you didn't miss much".

"No what I missed was the last big night out with my friends before we go our separate ways".

"Still pissed he took you home?".

and no I'm not

bets on who Jake would f**k over

"What does that

know you

do not".

..

she slipped her phone into her bag and got to

going?". I started the car reversing out the drive and onto the

lay her head against the window. "I swear

turned on the radio and decided on the coffee shop. I hadn't been in forever and their muffins were

happened after you got home last

to bed". I wanted to talk to her about how I was feeling but

nothing to be embarrassed about but even the

"That's it?".

"Well yeah".

"No arguing?".

"Nope".

"Bullshit". She laughed.

I slowed down as the lights

"Why's your face red?".

Oh god.

not".

"Did something else happen?".

right?". As the light turned green I took a right turn

"Somethings different about you".

went to bed and

door open and

so I can people

before we were tucking into our food and

for after graduation?". I

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