I missed Alanna. I missed the girl time and her ability to distract me enough to not think about what was happening in my life. I swear the girl never ran out of things to say.

She had only been gone a few days and yet it felt longer. I loved that she was home, and I loved that I had my friend back. She was the glue that held our girls together.

"So, when are you going to let me take you out for the night?". She grinned. "We can do dinner, go for cocktails. Just like old times".

That wasn't going to happen for a long time. I wasn't in the mood to go out for drinks. I still had a lot to process and get through. Going out for breakfast was hard enough when all I felt was guilt. Inside I felt as though I should be bed bound and depressed and because I wasn't I was guilt-ridden.

"Soon". I smiled.

I didn't want to get into it with her because I still wasn't ready to open up and talk about it. I still wasn't sure I even knew where to begin. How do I talk about it? How can I express how I was feeling or what I was going through when I didn't know myself. It was still hard for me to process that I was no longer carrying our baby. That our baby died because of me.

"Leah?".

"Huh?". I blinked.

"I asked if you had heard from Ryan?".

I shook my head. "He's off living the dream while we're stuck here". I smiled.

did find it weird that she asked about Ryan considering she didn't like him. But I wasn't going to push her on it. Maybe she was just making conversation. I did however want to push her on the Lacey situation, but I

could think of a few

taking

overly excited about going to the cabin anyway. I agreed because it was better

smiled. "I think not, besides the cabin will always be there

my soul. We didn't even need to talk. He just knew how to make me feel

this morning and said he should be here around lunch

are you going to tell me the real reason you've come

telling me the full story. Something either happened or was going to happen. You can't spend a few days somewhere and know straight away it wasn't going

"And?".

"And what?". She huffed.

I sighed. "Don't tell

as the server placed some menus on the

you a couple

"No problem". I smiled.

was".

"What?".

"With girls". She added.

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