I missed Alanna. I missed the girl time and her ability to distract me enough to not think about what was happening in my life. I swear the girl never ran out of things to say.

She had only been gone a few days and yet it felt longer. I loved that she was home, and I loved that I had my friend back. She was the glue that held our girls together.

"So, when are you going to let me take you out for the night?". She grinned. "We can do dinner, go for cocktails. Just like old times".

That wasn't going to happen for a long time. I wasn't in the mood to go out for drinks. I still had a lot to process and get through. Going out for breakfast was hard enough when all I felt was guilt. Inside I felt as though I should be bed bound and depressed and because I wasn't I was guilt-ridden.

"Soon". I smiled.

I didn't want to get into it with her because I still wasn't ready to open up and talk about it. I still wasn't sure I even knew where to begin. How do I talk about it? How can I express how I was feeling or what I was going through when I didn't know myself. It was still hard for me to process that I was no longer carrying our baby. That our baby died because of me.

"Leah?".

"Huh?". I blinked.

"I asked if you had heard from Ryan?".

I shook my head. "He's off living the dream while we're stuck here". I smiled.

asked about Ryan considering she didn't like him. But I wasn't going to push her on it. Maybe she was just making conversation. I did however want to push her on the Lacey situation, but I didn't know how to bring it up. "Would you really

a

hear Jake's taking you to the

your mom's throwing a dinner tomorrow night, I doubt it will be today". I wasn't overly excited about going to the cabin anyway. I agreed because it was better than staying at home staring at the same four walls. "I'm sure she won't

the cabin will always be there and I'm

didn't even need to talk. He just knew how to make

me this morning and said

going to tell me the real

going to happen. You

"And?".

"And what?". She huffed.

I sighed. "Don't

paused as the server placed some menus

give you a couple

"No problem". I smiled.

wasn't aware of how popular Carter was". She spoke once

"What?".

"With girls". She added.

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