hapter 36 Chapter 36

“Growing up happens when you start having things you wish you could go back and change.” (“)

Cassandra Clare | *

Steve had brewed herbal tea for both mom and me, but none of us had taken a sip yet. She stared at

her hands, wringing them together and I watched the steam rise from my tea. I knew she was

gearing up to tell me something big, so I didn’t rush her.

I was still trying to make sense of what she had said about my dad just a couple of minutes ago. He

had stopped her from contacting me ~ could that really be true? I didn’t want to believe it, but I

couldn’t help but think of every time he’d brushed me off when I asked about my mom.

I knew she – and the fact that she’d hidden my existence from him for eleven years was a sore spot

for him. But had he really told her never to contact me?

“[ guess I’ll just start from the beginning,” mom finally spoke, and her eyes were glassy with unshed

tears, “You remember when we were living out of that dingy little motel on Burke Street? When you

were

eleven?” “Oh, definitely,” I smiled, “I remember that old little TV in our room. It only got, like, two

channels and you had to keep the satellite in the perfect position.”

My mom smiled ruefully. “God,” she said, “I can’t believe we really lived there – that I let you live

there for so long.”

“Mom, it’s okay,” I said, “It wasn’t that bad. We had food and electricity

“Oh, Clark,” she cut me off, “It was that bad, honey. You were just a kid, and I was doing my best to

hide it from you, but I was spiraling. My drug addiction was getting worse. I could hardly keep food

on the table for you. My debt was so bad that the only places I could live were off friends’ couches

or dingy motels like that one. And it was only going to get worse from there.”

I sat in silence and let her talk.

“Steve was the one who finally got through to me,” she said and placed her hand over his. They

exchanged smiles. “When I called to borrow money from him for the thousandth time, he finally

gave me a bit of tough love. He told me I couldn’t continue on like this, and if I did, he couldn’t

watch me do it. He told me I needed to get help. Real help ~ rehab.”

“All I knew,” Steve added, “Was that I was watching the woman I loved hit rock bottom and drag

her.” “Well, you were the first one to get through to me,” she told him

back to me, “But the only problem with rehab

six months and that was too long for me to let you

could be your actual parent, your

only left one

I said, “My

said, practically pleading. “You

involved with his world.

werewolves.”

up at her in shock, glancing at Steve. He looked completely unfazed. I

of werewolves, but I had no idea that

aware.

kid,” Steve said, chuckling, “Your mom has told me everything. I’m

that your biological father shapeshifts

a smile at

if you have to know,” my mom continued, “Had I known what your

you to live with him. I’m not sure what I would

wouldn’t have just let him take you like

been faked. “I don’t

for my dad but

mom.

mom smiled bitterly,

want to be in

,” I couldn’t help

said, “He was incredibly

through me. “Punish you?” I repeated, “You’re my mom!

was punishing. Keeping you away

to

your voice. I

ran

T been

didn’t you

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much

my head. “Not really,” I said, “He’s never talked about it, but my

it was a

bar in Northern California Your father came in one night, looking like

smile and I saw Steve roll

tell me a lot of specifics at first, but eventually, he opened

raised my eyebrows. “And that didn’t send you running for the

shrugged, “But I came around to it. I

how he was terrified to let his pack down, how much pressure he was under.

me. I had no idea about any of that stuff, so

his side.”

pretty third party,” Steve

platonic between

in and I could tell he’d had a rough

One thing led to another and, well…he ended up back

hotel room.”

to have some answers. The subject

had the

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