96 Guilt–tripping grief…

Lyla

It was nearly dusk when I arrived at the pack house and the first time I would be going home since I arrived at Blue Ridge.

I hesitated at the door, taking in a deep breath. I didn’t know what to expect from my mother.

Did she hate me less now?

I glanced over my shoulder at the two pack warriors Beta Jeremy had insisted I come with, their presence felt comforting alright but I knew I had to face whatever was waiting for me inside the house.

“Wait here, I managed to say to them. “I won’t be long”

They nodded quietly and stood to one side of the terrace. I took another deep breath again before knocking. After a few seconds, the heavy door creaked open revealing one of the pack

servants.

It was our housekeeper.

As soon as she saw me, she opened the door wider and bowed her head in greeting. “Miss Lyla.”

“Good evening. I flashed her an uneasy smile looking past her shoulders. “Are my mother and my sister around?”

“Miss Clarissa went for a walk around the Packhouse to clear her head, while your mother is resting in the bedroom. Should I tell her you’re here?”

“No!” I said quickly, feeling relieved somewhat. “Let’s not disturb her. I only came to get an important thing for my dad’s funeral and will be out in no time.”

I entered the house, stopping to respond to the greetings of the few domestic staff who passed by or were working silently in the background. The atmosphere in the house felt depressing. Everyone I passed had a sombre look on their face. They were all mourning for my father.

he was a good man…

my way through the hallway, trying not to get overwhelmed by the memories that rushed to my mind. My father sitting in his favourite chair in the sitting room, barking orders at

the mantra in my head, heading for the stairs that led

noticed the door was slightly ajar, which was unusual. Just as I reached out to push it open, a sound froze my steps – soft chuckling, almost delirious drifted from within to

14:46

96 Guilt–tripping

seemed empty.

the bedroom this time and was about to walk in the direction of the closet when the soft, almost muffled chuckling reached my ears again. Startled, I decided to find out what it

I got to the other side of the massive bed and gasped slightly

with dried tears and her eyes were swollen and red from crying. I’ve heard that losing your mate- the pain, was worse than rejection and as

presence, she finally looked up and immediately the chuckling ceased and her gaze shifted from nostalgia

Dad… for his burial.” I stammered, with

was contemplating harming

for the bedpost instead, she pulled herself up, panting. Then she walked past me

we talk? I’m sorry… please

door. I followed her with my gaze fighting the tears that pooled at the corner of my eyes. As she reached

looked away, hoping to hide the tears in my eyes but Clarissa entered the room anyway. She didn’t say anything to me at first. She just walked around the room slowly, her fingers brushing against father’s belongings – his reading glasses on the

bed, running a hand

softly, tears gathering in her eyes. “Since… since father…” she couldn’t finish the sentence,

sat down beside her, and for a moment, we

96 Guilt–tripping grief….

easier. The pack healers. say that she’s in deep grief –

the floor and nodded.

say aloud. “I wanted to help her, but it’s like she doesn’t want to

with me.”

anything

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