196 The breaking point…

Lyla to

If anyone thinks I am calmly processing the revelation that Nanny is my mother, let me assure you – I AM NOT! I haven’t reached that level of maturity yet, nor do I care to pretend otherwise.

I am furious!

Every nerve in my body is burning with anger, it seems like all the tiny molecules that make up every part of me is boiling so much that I’m practically laden with the anger I feel.

Forget everything I told you earlier about calmly arriving at the temple, being gently ushered in by Terra, Nanny’s best friend and politely asking Nanny if she’s, my mother.

That scenario?

That’s a lie!

A fickle mirage, a façade that will never happen.

The truth is, I am the highest level of pissed – livid should fit it more. I am not riding in a taxi to Golden Gates Pack because I can’t afford such luxury. Instead, I’m stuck on a crowded train to Golden Gates, doing everything I can to keep my anger in check.

But it’s hard.

Especially with the mother and son sitting next to me, giggling and showering each other with loud, exaggerated kisses. Their happiness feels like salt in an open wound, a painful reminder of everything I’ve never had and will likely never get.

I was shaking with anger, so much so that I was a minute away from driving this train.

pa

Finally, I arrived at Golden Gate Park and picked up a cab to the Moon Temple. As soon as I reached it, I stormed into the temple, my heart was pounding with rage and heartbreak. The temple was quiet, serene as it always seemed in the stories, Nanny had told me.

I followed the faint hum of voices echoing through the halls, leading me to the courtyard where

a group of women sat in a circle, laughing at something. My eyes went wild as I scanned their faces, searching for my target.

I finally found her.

women, laughing, carefree, as if she hadn’t just destroyed

It infuriated me.

rage pushed me. I marched forward and it didn’t help that I had heels on, so I practically sounded like a baby thunder roaring. The women turned to me, most of them looked familiar – 1 had seen them at the

startled but at this point, I didn’t care I reached Nanny and grabbed her arm, yanking her to

| 10-26

The breaking

I barked; my voice was trembling with fury.

before looking around warily, as if she

what…”

years… all this time… why didn’t you tell

curiously at us. Nanny’s eyes widened as understanding dawned on them. The

knew.

step backwards, her hands raised placatingly, “Lyla, please…calm

me! You’ve lied

she let out a shaky sigh. “I didn’t lie to you, Lyla. I kept the truth from you

dry laugh escaped my lips. “Protect me?” I scoffed. “From what exactly? From yourself, you mean? That’s all you’ve ever done, isn’t it? Everything is always about you. You’re so selfish, you never cared about what I needed!” 2

true,” she protested, reaching for me. “Everything I

where I should be right now? I should be celebrating my wedding with Nathan. I should be happy!” tears rolled

She had a concerned expression on her face as she

please… I know you’re hurt and all but please can you take this somewhere

“Did you know too? Did everyone know except me?” My eyes swept the women watching, noting that some of them averted their

“I don’t care if you have issues but you will respect this temple. You can’t come in here,

hold her friend but she seemed

that happened? It was casy for her to do away with you and make sure you never existed, but here you are, shouting and screaming at her without hearing from her first. You cry people

10:26

The breaking point…

her with annoyance. I hated Terra. I hated how everything she said struck

snapped finally. “This is

I didn’t know what I was doing, and all I knew was, that

Superior, Priestess Diana. Her eyes had grown so large that I was afraid it would pop out. She walked up

are you talking about? Is it what

turned. “Yes, Lyla is my

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