63 To a past and a future …

Lyla

It’s been a year and six months since that night …

Everybody has a turning point – a point where they become stronger or suddenly take up a cape and become a hero .

Well , me … I wasn’t interested .

I wasn’t interested in becoming a hero for the people who mocked me , who shamed me for what I had no part in creating .

I mean , if I am going to sacrifice my life and my peace , it should be for people who are worth it right ?

That night had defined me in ways I still struggle to grasp .

The dark memories had hovered in my mind like shadows , always present , though I had learned to push them away .

I didn’t allow myself to think about the horrors , the danger I had escaped or the truths I’d uncovered about myself .

After that chaos , I and Nanny had moved far from the life we once knew and started afresh .

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For months , I uld wake up in the middle of the night drenched in a cold sweat with my puls racing , trying to shake off the nightmares that seemed too real .

Simple things became a challenge for me walking alone after sunset , staying home without Nanny , even sleeping with the lights off .

But I had fought back , not with grand gestures of bravery but with small , everyday acts of normalcy .

No matter what the world expected of me , no matter the whispers of my lineage or my supposed destiny , I chose to be content being human .

I made up my mind to never ever take up any responsibility .

I never looked up the news reports about that night .

Never questioned Nanny about her real identity , never attempted to connect the dots that might have explained why 1 , of all people , had nearly married a 100 – year – old evil .

The only thing I was interested in these days was tackling my monthly heat while trying to be a

normal adult .

Today , standing in front of my full – length mirror , adjusting my graduation cap on my head , my reflection stared back at me .

I was graduating from high school and it was a milestone I couldn’t

ignore .

All I could see was a woman who had thrived despite the trauma , who had channelled all her energy into her studies , instead of chasing answers to a question I didn’t want to ask .

My phone chimed with a notification and for a brief moment , my heart leaped , hoping it might

be him .

But it was just another congratulatory message from a classmate .

My fingers moved almost unconsciously to my chat history with Nathan , scrolling through two years of one – sided messages that had formed a digital shrine to a friendship that had vanished .

All the promises he made to me that night – now where was he ?

63 To a past and a luture .

Two years of silence .

Two years of trying to understand what I’d done wrong .

The last message .

I’d sent him was three months ago : ‘ Remember when you said we’d always be friends ? I guess some promises are easier to break than keep .

the edge of my bed

chat together , wondering what I might have done wrong

many things thrown at me , letting Nathan

‘ Nathan .

I typed .

years trying to understand what I did wrong

wondering if somehow I’d hurt

my graduation and

could be here .

But … ”

to still my trembling hands

with someone like me , you could have just

didn’t have to

know that

you find happiness in whatever

the message over again before

to reconsider , I pulled out the sim card from my phone , snapping it cleanly in half

to my past … I was done

me from downstairs , filled with excitement that

late ! Let’s take some pictures before

adjusting my makeup , making my final adjustment to my graduation cap , I grabbed

back as I took the stairs two at a time

waiting at the bottom , camera already in hand , eyes glistening

, ” Nanny

girl , all grown up and graduating

so proud

woman who had been more than just a Nanny – who had been my constant

we’ve been through , Nanny

the verge of falling apart and I would be forever grateful

I wouldn’t have done it without you ,” I

dhing that

! ”

this all

that happened to focus on building your future instead of dwelling in the past

proud of you

at the ceiling , blowing on

, Nan ! ”

don’t want to ruin my

smile dear

we’re going to

time , I allowed myself to feel proud of how far I had

the fear I had made it to this moment I had

ΠΗ

C

past

now, I was stepping into the

pictures in the garden Nanny

a symbol of our fresh start

posed with my cap and gown against the backdrop of blooming roses and

a reminder that beauty could grow from any soil

time .

enough care and

Nanny insisted , her eyes shining with

me your biggest

we headed out to the school

I watched the city pass by

out there , Nathan was living his life , perhaps , carrying secrets I would never understand

that was

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