The Alpha’s Fight for His Omega by Jess K

Chapter 92

***Chastity***

I have to admit that I’m pretty proud of myself for not letting the situation with Fiona’s therapist get to me. After I got home that night I thought a lot about what had happened, and even wrote about it in my journal. I found I was more disappointed in how the therapist handled the situation than anything. I wasn’t surprised by Fiona’s behavior. I almost expected it. Dee-Dee told me that my reaction showed growth. and healing. It made me proud of myself.

I did find myself, at times thinking of Fiona, and being worried about her wellbeing. I couldn’t understand why though. She had never treated me right in any way. In my heart I knew she didn’t deserve my worry or care. It didn’t change the fact that those feelings were there. After a week of that I decided to ask Dee- Dee about it during my appointment. Her answer made a lot of sense.

She said it was because of my caring nature, and who I am. As well as, in part how I was raised. I was raised to care for others. That had been my job for so many years that it just became a part of who I am. In the pack house it was my responsibility to care of those living in the house. Outside of the house I cared for pups, the elderly, sick and injured, as well as females in labor. It was only natural for me to be worried for someone I knew was struggling.

When I asked her what I should do about it, she said there wasn’t much I could do about it. I couldn’t just stop being who I am, no matter how hard I tried. She did offer to check up on Fiona for me, but the most she would be able to get is whether she was fine or not. She would not be able to get any specifics. I agreed to that, but something just told me that it wouldn’t settle my feelings well. I told Dee-Dee this, and

she tried her best to reassure me. Eventually I asked if I should visit Fiona.

Dee-Dee was very against this, as was everyone else. They felt that it wouldn’t be good for my healing. It was clear that Fiona had made no progress with her therapy given what had happened with her therapist. The general concern was that she would say or do something that would drag me back emotionally.

This was a topic of discussion with Dee-Dee for about two weeks before she read one of my journal entries that she said shed some light on why I was so fixated on Fiona. I don’t know exactly what I wrote, but Dee-Dee asked me a question that caught me off guard.

“Chastity, do you in any way, blame yourself for that fact that Fiona is where she is right now?” Dee-Dee asked me.

“…..what?” I questioned, very confused.

“Do you, for some reason feel like you’re to blame for Fiona being in prison right now?”

“I….I don’t know, I mean she is there because of what she did to me.”

“That is true, but it certainly wasn’t your fault. You didn’t cause her to end up there. Her own actions did.”

“True. I don’t know if I feel guilty about it, but at the same time….”

“At the same time, what?”

“Months ago she had a chance to end her sentence, and go live with her grandparents. Start a new life. If I hadn’t suggested that she tell them exactly why she was in the dungeon, maybe she would be living with them now. Maybe she would be doing better, surrounded by people who care about her. Maybe she would be in college or working a trade. Maybe she would be with her mate, and building a life for herself. She is in prison now because I insisted she be honest with her grandparents.”

“Do you honestly believe that Alpha Joseph would have really let her not complete her sentence?”

“…I don’t know.”

“He wouldn’t have. She was guilty of some very serious crimes. He gave the choice of her telling her grandparents or not. He was going to let them read her file themselves, but wanted to see what you felt about her telling them herself. Yes in a way he played a game, but he also wanted teach you, in a way, to stand up for yourself. Fiona was always going to complete her sentence. She had to. He would have looked like an Alpha who didn’t enforce punishments when laws were broken.”

“Why would he do that?”

“I know you don’t like to think or talk about it, but there will come a day when you will be looked to for leadership. You will be expected to uphold the laws, and carry out punishments. He needed to see if you could handle it wisely, and with compassion which you did.”

“Oh. I….I don’t know how I feel about that.”

“I don’t expect you to. The point I’m trying to make here is that you are not, in any way, at fault for Fiona’s current circumstances. Fiona brought all of this on herself. Also remember that while yes she is in prison for her crimes, she is also getting the help she needs to be a better person when her sentence is over. When she is released she will go to her grandparent’s pack, and begin a new life. She’ll have the chance. to do things right.”

“Do you honestly think she’ll be able to? Especially with what is going on with her right now.”

“I do, yes. The thing is with Fiona, is that right now she’s trying very hard to hold onto a belief she was raised her whole life with. She is slowly being shown that her belief is incorrect, but it’s hard to let go of something you were raised to believe. She had 18 years of being told she was one thing, and was doing the right thing, to suddenly being told she was lied to. That is a hard thing to get past. I think, given time, and the right amount of help, she will let that go, and truly be better. It will just take time, and a lot of work on the part of her therapist, and her.”

“I see what you’re saying.”

“Of course you do because you’re experiencing the same thing. You’ve just made more progress than she has. That is because you’re in a different situation she is, but you are still doing the same thing.”

“I……that’s true. I never considered that.”

“Just please keep in mind that none of this is your fault. Fiona is where she is because of her actions. Not because of you.”

“….I’ll try. Can I ask you question?”

“Sure.”

“Is it wrong that I still want to see her, and talk to her? Maybe I can help.”1

“Is it wrong? No. Should you? I don’t think right now would be the right time. As I said, I think right now it would do you both more harm than good. You have come a long way, but Fiona’s mental state is still much the same as it was before your life turned around. She would not think twice about verbally attacking you, or even possibly attempting to physically attack you. That would potentially set you back, and possibly make her sentence longer. At this time you both need to focus on yourselves. If you two are meant to meet up, and have a conversation it will happen when you are both ready for it. Right now. neither of you are.”

“…I understand, and what you’re saying makes sense.”

“I hope so. I’m not saying don’t worry about Fiona. You can, and with who you are, you will. What I’m saying is that when you find yourself worrying about her, remind yourself that she I where she is supposed to be, and she is getting the help she needs to lead a better life. She needs to focus on herself, just as you

do.”

“Ok. I can do that.”

“Good. Anything else you would like to discuss?”

I sat back, and thought about what more I wanted to talk to her about. I had a question I wanted to asked, but I was so embarrassed. It seemed ridiculous, but I didn’t know who else to ask. I thought about asking Molly, Mellissa, or Lexi, but every time I tried I would find myself blushing, and clamming up. Shaking my head at my self, I swallowed, and looked at Dee-Dee, red faced.

1…um…..when….when will I know that I’m ready to…um…….take the next step in my relationship with Rowen?” I whispered.

“As in marking each other?” Dee-Dee questioned.

“Uh. No. I’m not ready for that. I meant um… the…uh…the other thing.”

“The other….oh. You meant the sexual part of your relationship.”

“Ye….yes.”

the majority of mated pairs, the sexual relationship starts right away. It’s

Ross, and Melissa

know why

build a relationship first. Ross, and Melissa because they wanted to wait until they marked each other. Ross didn’t want to mark

reasons, but not

“Really?”

that Rowen waiting on you to be ready is far from normal for an Alpha. That

“1…why is that?”

animal. Animals don’t see sex the same way humans do. For animals sex is about the feelings, pleasure, and procreating. Our animal side wants what it wants, and there is nothing else that matters. They want to connect with their mate on the most basic level. Our human side usually gives into

“But I’m different?”

touch is painful. You’ve needed to learn that is not the case. You also needed time to take

“I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“All of it.”

“What scares you?”

I’ll mess up by saying or doing the wrong thing. That I won’t respond the

we all have the same fears

“It is?”

it will be a learning experience as you both learn your likes, and dislikes, but it will be worth it. There will be times when one or both of

know when I’m ready for the next

When all are saying you want to feel

think I can do that.

He’ll know what you mean. Also make sure to tell him if you want

gets frustrated with

do what you

you

“He’s your mate.”

“Yes, but…..”

but he has been by your side in every possible way,

I ask you a personal

“You can.”

you,

“About 10 minutes.”

“You’re kidding?!”

giving Abbey a file for a patient he had, and I was just finishing with a patient when I walked out into my waiting room. As soon as I saw him, I knew. We both struggled not to jump each other with others right there. My patient left, and I sent Abbey home. Locked my office door, and we didn’t leave for a good 5 hours. Three days later Alpha Jeremy did our mating ceremony

other thing I’m scared of. I’m not ready for

female wolves have options Condoms are recommended, but mated pairs rarely use them. I can tell you

other options

a male there is a monthly shot they can get. For females there are shots, and

“Oh.”

you have some time to decide on contraceptives for you. You

I ask what

on condoms as well. Now, we

didn’t wait to meet

was 30 when I met Gary. We females have needs, and even unmated, heat does happen. Not as often as when you’re mated, but it does

never gone into

20, unless you’re marked, and mated

without being marked, and

Maybe it’s the Moon Goddess’s way to give

people still have sex unmated, and

themselves. Plus, as I said, we are

me that Rowen didn’t

No. Will

“Why?”

as wolves are possessive over what is ours. We don’t share Knowing someone else has touched what

because he already knows what he is doing, he knows how to make sure you find pleasure, and one of you knows what you’re doing so

the same thing

don’t like that another female has touched what is ours, but we are thankful to them for teaching our male

take your

you start moving in that direction with

“I guess.”

ready for the next

“I…I don’t know.”

I can help you. Why don’t you tell me what’s going

“….this is so embarrassing.”

is nothing to be embarrassed about. Sex

conversation about sex in my life. I know it happens, but I know nothing about

you’ve been very sheltered so it’s understandable that you know nothing about sex. You can talk to me, or just

it though. That may bring out

this any way. It would be too

So tell me what’s going

me my body gets tingly, hot, and stuff. A part of me wants more, but then I get scared, and he also pulls back

much you two have done

once. That’s all though. He had to

“I’ll bet he did.”

“Why though?”

a release, and the shower was the best place to take are of that without making you uncomfortable. Also to not

Molly, and Melissa explained the pain