The Beast And The Blessed

Chapter 116

Eleven: Tobias

Tobias's P.O.V.

She had wanted me, and I had pushed her away.

She was done waiting. I was out of time.

I knew with every beat of my heart and breath in my lungs that I wanted her to be mine. Everything about her drew me in, called to me. She was the embodiment of seduction. But she was also funny, intelligent, and loyal. Every time we spoke, all of my responsibilities vanished from my mind, and I just wanted to spend all of my time with her.

Even Ana didn't make me feel this way; that had been a hard pill to swallow. I had tried so hard to protect her and to love her. But I had failed on both accounts. It was unnatural. It was against the will of the Goddess.

My beast felt the pull to Ana, but my mind had always been on Joselin. For that, I would never be able to let Ana go. The guilt alone was too much for me.

I ripped open the door to my father's house. The musty smell of the abandoned property made my nose wrinkle in disgust. It had been so long since I had been here. I hated doing it. It always brought back too many memories.

Yet, I also hadn't built up the courage to fix the place, so I could sell it. It was mine now that my father was gone, but the horrific memories inside made me want to burn the place down instead. I didn't want to have to go through and renovate it to hide the horrors of my past.

I was physically strong enough to do it, but I didn’t know if my mind could handle it. The easiest of the issues would be the scratches on the inside of the door and walls of the closet in my childhood bedroom.

The most difficult would be having to rip up the flooring and replace it to hide the blood stains on the first floor.

I had thought I could mentally prepare myself to move on and offer Joselin everything she could ever want. It didn't seem possible with the ghosts of my past still here. Maybe this was the closure I needed.

I had always hated this house. Every room was walled off from the others, making it darker than I'd like. The closed off floor-plan was exactly what I had avoided when I purchased my current home.

We had a few things in common, Joselin and I. Our horrific upbringing was what we had bonded over when I found her. Soon after, she became my best friend, my only escape. I had hoped for her to be my future as well.

Then I found Ana, and it felt wrong to spend time with Joselin.

Now, Ana was gone, and the only thing stopping me was my guilt.

The only way to move on was to let go of Ana. She wasn't here to forgive me anymore. I could beg and plead to the Goddess until the words lost all meaning, and I had, but it made no difference.

I glanced down at the discolored wood.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will take care of it. Tomorrow I would get my closure so I could move on.

I walked to the front window, cracking it open to air out the house a little while I was gone before locking it behind me and leaving.

It was for me. It was for Joselin. It didn't matter if I felt I couldn't do it yet; I couldn't face those demons. I had to do it.

I

she was alone. How would it feel to crawl into her bed and wrap my arms around her while she was sleeping? Did she cuddle, or was she a mover, always trying to find

now or still working on her

on my bed. The horrors that awaited me were always the same, one memory or another. I closed my eyes,

***

despised her kind. She was a disgrace to this

thought she

Ana.

first shifted at fourteen. We were lucky like

were stronger and shifted as soon as their beasts were ready. I had seen some of my pack mates undergo the change as early as nine. We could find our mates at any time after

to present themselves as a potential breeder for our kind. The Offering is what we

I had already found my mate was torturous, but no

patrol to one of the human cities, checking in with our people to ensure everything was running as it should have been. My father had me

had been one of the maids cleaning the bunkhouse, working so young at only fifteen. As soon as I walked

live with me among royalty. She never expected that having me as a mate

He was furious.

a disgrace to him, but it was even worse

he brought her back with us anyway, claiming she was to be a maid

have known

She should have listened.

told her I would help her run. I told her I would distract him so she could make a

let me leave. He would rather see me dead than let me

You can't do anything right, can you? We should have rid the Earth of your kind ages ago.” His growl of disgust made me flinch. I opened the front door, dropped the groceries to the floor, and raced toward my mate. My beast roared in anger as I saw

her body smashing against the entryway

prey. He reeked of liquor and moonflower oil,

Lycan as he watched with rage that

is, boy! Know your place!" He snapped, gripping me by the neck with his claw digging into my flesh as he shifted

control of my beast yet. He had decades of training and experience on the battlefield. I was

when

flew and crashed into my face. I didn't have a chance to make a plan of attack. Hit

black dots danced in my vision, stumbling backward as he tackled me down. The back of my head hit the floor, but I could still hear Ana crying and begging

Run, Ana. Please.

too young to mate,

of me than the last, and while I could feel my body

open as he had done countless times before. It was his way of teaching me a lesson. I knew he did it on my front

end of it, of my punishment. He would have sliced open my

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