The Beast And The Blessed

Nineteen: Joselin

Joselin's P.O.V.

The food I had gathered for us was long forgotten in the kitchen. My plans for the evening were gone as well. The air in my tower swirled angrily with the threat of a storm caused by me. It had been a very long time since my emotions ruled my magic.

It made me feel inept, and the lack of control was worrisome. I hadn't lost control since I was a teenager.

The pain in my chest was unwelcome, and a few stray tears slid down my cheeks.

My body's betrayal and willingness to show emotion were infuriating, but I knew my true anger was directed at the man downstairs. I was sure he hated being there. With so many people around and trying to talk to him, I knew he would be uncomfortable. Even that knowledge didn't satisfy the petty part of my mind that wanted him to be miserable for hurting me.

If he wanted to go to a mating mixer and look for a wolf to mark, contradicting all the sweet words he shared with me last night, he could.

I was a big girl. I could find a way to get over him. Nothing had worked so far, but that didn't make it impossible.

I could warn Natalie about the unknown threat and have it be her problem. She would be taking over my job soon anyway, so there was no point in letting her get her feet wet. She might as well jump right in.

With her handling that, I would be free to escape and find myself outside this castle.

My gut twisted at the idea of leaving Tobias, though. No matter how upset and angry I was, I would hate it if I left without getting answers. I had loved him for too long just to turn away and never look back. There were so many questions for him, but the most important was why I wasn't enough.

Rona's words played on a loop in my head, reminding me that a man like Tobias wouldn't want a woman who looked like me. My teeth ground together, and my hands were in tight fists as I stopped pacing.

There was only one way I could get an honest answer to ease or confirm my concerns.

It was something I swore I would never do. I had learned to embrace who I was long ago, and while I knew this experiment would be damaging to my mental well-being if it confirmed my suspicions, I didn't see myself having another choice.

relationship without that fear hanging over me. I just had to hope that

I could do this.

my bookcase so it would stay out of sight. With

was a novice-level volume, and I knew what I wanted would be

runes and knots on my skin could still be felt. But when I looked down, I could only see the tanned skin of my

color before, and while most people enjoyed being tan, I felt sick. But it meant the glamour

look in the mirror and see this version of me, the fake one. A stranger stared back at me

and I knew she would give Tobias a run for his money. His jaw was bound to

these events expected, but I didn't have the patience to choose a

before Tobias left or

reason to show up tonight. I thought he had chosen me. If not as his mate, then maybe to

and women around me. There was surprise on their faces as they watched me, knowing with the glamour, they would smell me as a wolf instead of a witch. But

he didn't look away. I took it

crowd parted for me. My body buzzed with excitement with every step, and while I knew this moment could completely shatter me, it also almost

usual and sounding strange to my ears. Only it wasn't mine. It was hers. Whoever this woman was that I was pretending to be

question in his glare, wondering why I was bothering

I reached out as one of the servers walked by, grabbing a glass from the tray in their hand and

he clamped his tightly around my wrist. His grasp was firm, but he didn't shove me

encouragement to continue, I tilted my chin up. A rush of satisfaction and betrayal washed through me when he leaned down, giving me his ear. The closeness caused my breasts to brush against his arm holding mine to his chest, and I felt my nipples pebble

in response. If he hadn't held

wouldn't be long before this room was full of naked men and women. Many wolves and Lycans enjoyed fucking in front of others, claiming their partner for all

trailing up his

sinking feeling that he was turned on and enjoyed what I did to him in this form made my stomach hurt, but I also didn't want to stop. He couldn't know