The Beast And The Blessed

Nineteen: Joselin

Joselin's P.O.V.

The food I had gathered for us was long forgotten in the kitchen. My plans for the evening were gone as well. The air in my tower swirled angrily with the threat of a storm caused by me. It had been a very long time since my emotions ruled my magic.

It made me feel inept, and the lack of control was worrisome. I hadn't lost control since I was a teenager.

The pain in my chest was unwelcome, and a few stray tears slid down my cheeks.

My body's betrayal and willingness to show emotion were infuriating, but I knew my true anger was directed at the man downstairs. I was sure he hated being there. With so many people around and trying to talk to him, I knew he would be uncomfortable. Even that knowledge didn't satisfy the petty part of my mind that wanted him to be miserable for hurting me.

If he wanted to go to a mating mixer and look for a wolf to mark, contradicting all the sweet words he shared with me last night, he could.

I was a big girl. I could find a way to get over him. Nothing had worked so far, but that didn't make it impossible.

I could warn Natalie about the unknown threat and have it be her problem. She would be taking over my job soon anyway, so there was no point in letting her get her feet wet. She might as well jump right in.

With her handling that, I would be free to escape and find myself outside this castle.

My gut twisted at the idea of leaving Tobias, though. No matter how upset and angry I was, I would hate it if I left without getting answers. I had loved him for too long just to turn away and never look back. There were so many questions for him, but the most important was why I wasn't enough.

Rona's words played on a loop in my head, reminding me that a man like Tobias wouldn't want a woman who looked like me. My teeth ground together, and my hands were in tight fists as I stopped pacing.

There was only one way I could get an honest answer to ease or confirm my concerns.

It was something I swore I would never do. I had learned to embrace who I was long ago, and while I knew this experiment would be damaging to my mental well-being if it confirmed my suspicions, I didn't see myself having another choice.

a relationship without that fear hanging over me. I just had to hope that what I was about to do wouldn't

I could do this.

so it would stay out of sight. With a quick flick of my finger, the dusty and worn item flew across the room and crashed into

was a novice-level volume, and I knew

before I felt my skin tingling. The usual vibrations of the runes and knots on my skin could still be felt.

had never been able to hold color before, and while most people enjoyed being tan,

version of me, the fake one. A stranger stared back at me with smooth, flawless skin, long brown hair,

His jaw was bound to drop when he saw me in this form. I just prayed to the Goddess that he didn't let

it was not as formal as these events expected, but I didn't have the patience to choose a new outfit.

back downstairs. I wanted to get there before Tobias left or chose someone. He

he had chosen me. If not as his mate, then maybe to

women around me. There was surprise on their faces as they watched me, knowing with the glamour, they would smell me as a wolf instead of a

the crowd, and my breathing caught when he didn't look away. I took it as a bad sign that he was

I smirked confidently before striding toward him, enjoying how the crowd parted for me. My body buzzed with excitement with every step, and while I knew this moment could completely

trailed over him, my voice coming out softer than usual and sounding strange to my ears. Only it

could see the question in his

tray in their hand and taking a small sip of the sickly sweet beverage. "How is a man like you not

wrist. His grasp was firm, but he didn't shove me away. If anything,

and betrayal washed through me when he leaned down, giving me his ear. The closeness caused my breasts to brush against his arm holding mine to his chest, and I felt my nipples pebble

his earlobe, and he growled in response. If he hadn't held

a few new mates enjoying each other, and it wouldn't be long before this room was full of naked men and women. Many wolves and Lycans enjoyed

up his neck. I could feel the

him in this form made my stomach hurt, but I also didn't want to stop. He couldn't know it