The Beast And The Blessed

Nineteen: Joselin

Joselin's P.O.V.

The food I had gathered for us was long forgotten in the kitchen. My plans for the evening were gone as well. The air in my tower swirled angrily with the threat of a storm caused by me. It had been a very long time since my emotions ruled my magic.

It made me feel inept, and the lack of control was worrisome. I hadn't lost control since I was a teenager.

The pain in my chest was unwelcome, and a few stray tears slid down my cheeks.

My body's betrayal and willingness to show emotion were infuriating, but I knew my true anger was directed at the man downstairs. I was sure he hated being there. With so many people around and trying to talk to him, I knew he would be uncomfortable. Even that knowledge didn't satisfy the petty part of my mind that wanted him to be miserable for hurting me.

If he wanted to go to a mating mixer and look for a wolf to mark, contradicting all the sweet words he shared with me last night, he could.

I was a big girl. I could find a way to get over him. Nothing had worked so far, but that didn't make it impossible.

I could warn Natalie about the unknown threat and have it be her problem. She would be taking over my job soon anyway, so there was no point in letting her get her feet wet. She might as well jump right in.

With her handling that, I would be free to escape and find myself outside this castle.

My gut twisted at the idea of leaving Tobias, though. No matter how upset and angry I was, I would hate it if I left without getting answers. I had loved him for too long just to turn away and never look back. There were so many questions for him, but the most important was why I wasn't enough.

Rona's words played on a loop in my head, reminding me that a man like Tobias wouldn't want a woman who looked like me. My teeth ground together, and my hands were in tight fists as I stopped pacing.

There was only one way I could get an honest answer to ease or confirm my concerns.

It was something I swore I would never do. I had learned to embrace who I was long ago, and while I knew this experiment would be damaging to my mental well-being if it confirmed my suspicions, I didn't see myself having another choice.

out, I would never feel confident enough in myself. I would never be able to be in a relationship without that fear hanging over me. I just had to hope that what I was about to do wouldn't bite me in the ass. I needed to

I could do this.

had been shoved up on the highest shelf of my bookcase so it would stay out of sight. With a quick flick of my finger, the dusty and worn item flew

I knew what I wanted would be

the runes and knots on my skin could still be felt. But

while most people enjoyed being

this version of me, the fake one. A stranger stared back at me with smooth, flawless skin,

for his money. His jaw was bound to drop when he saw me

it was not as formal as these events expected, but I didn't have the patience to choose a

wanted to get there before Tobias left or chose someone. He had been attending

his mate, then maybe to date me. The fact that he was here told me that his priority was to find his mate, and whatever we had would be short-lived

gawking men and women around me. There was surprise on their faces as they watched me, knowing with the glamour, they would smell me as a wolf instead of a witch.

landed on me over the crowd, and my breathing caught when he didn't look away. I took it as a bad sign that he was already interested

toward him, enjoying how the crowd parted for me. My body buzzed with excitement with every step, and while I knew this moment could completely shatter me, it also almost

my ears. Only it wasn't mine. It was hers. Whoever this woman

could see the question in his glare,

one of the servers walked by, grabbing a glass from the tray in their hand and taking a

he clamped his tightly around my wrist. His grasp was firm, but he didn't shove me away.

chin up. A rush of satisfaction and betrayal washed through me when he leaned down, giving me his ear. The closeness caused my breasts to

growled in response. If he hadn't held me

few new mates enjoying each other, and it wouldn't be long before this room was full of naked men and

tongue trailing up his neck. I could feel the

enjoyed what I did to him in this form made my stomach hurt, but I also didn't want to stop. He couldn't know it was me behind