Chapter 200 The Weight of Shame

He was still drowning in a tide of self–loathing.

He despised fickle, indecisive people.

And he despised himself even more for becoming one of them.

But the cruel reality was–tonight, he had completely lost control of his body.

He tried, with great difficulty, to pull away. But as her kiss deepened, he found himself overtaking her, almost devouring her breath entirely.

“Mm…”

James‘ kiss was too fierce.

Lily, who had been completely absorbed in her romantic dream, found herself unable to breathe. The suffocating sensation abruptly pulled her back to consciousness.

She blinked her sleepy eyes open–and was met with a pair of red–tinted, misty eyes.

And right after that–James‘ face, inches from her own.

They were clearly kissing.

And her hand was still…

Realizing what she’d just done, Lily nearly fainted from shock.

In her mind, James absolutely hated her. He especially couldn’t stand physical contact, let alone intimacy. There was no way he would ever want to get close to her.

had dreamed of her

time she’d dreamt of her mom–James had come to check on her when she cried in her sleep, and she’d clung to him like

couldn’t remember exactly what she’d done this

current situation–she had probably kissed

her, and she’d gotten mad that he wasn’t holding her properly, so she’d grabbed

just a dream–it had clearly happened in

She definitely kissed him.

her, there was no way

now.

when awake. Why did her damn mouth

a full–body shiver and yanked back her

she quickly pulled that back too and scooted to

kissed her so hungrily, James

burned away all

was sitting away from him–he felt an emptiness, not just in his chest, but in his whole

that cooling void,

came the crushing realization: he had kissed her. He had pulled at her

had almost gone

He had betrayed Leila.

wasn’t worthy of being called

pain so fierce it made him

“James…”

closed, Lily had caught the flash of pain and

ago.

was because she—

She had no idea how to explain it in a

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