Chapter 200 The Weight of Shame

He was still drowning in a tide of self–loathing.

He despised fickle, indecisive people.

And he despised himself even more for becoming one of them.

But the cruel reality was–tonight, he had completely lost control of his body.

He tried, with great difficulty, to pull away. But as her kiss deepened, he found himself overtaking her, almost devouring her breath entirely.

“Mm…”

James‘ kiss was too fierce.

Lily, who had been completely absorbed in her romantic dream, found herself unable to breathe. The suffocating sensation abruptly pulled her back to consciousness.

She blinked her sleepy eyes open–and was met with a pair of red–tinted, misty eyes.

And right after that–James‘ face, inches from her own.

They were clearly kissing.

And her hand was still…

Realizing what she’d just done, Lily nearly fainted from shock.

In her mind, James absolutely hated her. He especially couldn’t stand physical contact, let alone intimacy. There was no way he would ever want to get close to her.

of

remembered the last time she’d dreamt of her mom–James had come to check on her when she cried

what she’d

current situation–she had probably kissed him.

dreamed of him holding her, and she’d gotten mad that he wasn’t holding her properly,

had clearly happened in

She definitely kissed him.

much he loathed her, there was no way their lips would be

now.

Why did her damn mouth always do these outrageous, shameless things while

and yanked back her right hand like

her left arm was still wrapped around his waist, she quickly pulled that back too and scooted to the edge of the bed, putting as much

when he kissed her so hungrily, James had felt like his entire body

heat had burned

gone from his arms- -now that she was sitting away from him–he felt an emptiness, not just in his chest,

void, also brought his rationality

it came the crushing realization: he had

had almost gone

He had betrayed Leila.

had been right–he wasn’t worthy of being called human. He was

his eyes, the pain so fierce it made him

“James…”

closed, Lily had caught the flash of pain and revulsion in

ago.

she assumed it was because she— emboldened by her dream–had

to explain it in a way that would make it

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