Chapter 200 The Weight of Shame

He was still drowning in a tide of self–loathing.

He despised fickle, indecisive people.

And he despised himself even more for becoming one of them.

But the cruel reality was–tonight, he had completely lost control of his body.

He tried, with great difficulty, to pull away. But as her kiss deepened, he found himself overtaking her, almost devouring her breath entirely.

“Mm…”

James‘ kiss was too fierce.

Lily, who had been completely absorbed in her romantic dream, found herself unable to breathe. The suffocating sensation abruptly pulled her back to consciousness.

She blinked her sleepy eyes open–and was met with a pair of red–tinted, misty eyes.

And right after that–James‘ face, inches from her own.

They were clearly kissing.

And her hand was still…

Realizing what she’d just done, Lily nearly fainted from shock.

In her mind, James absolutely hated her. He especially couldn’t stand physical contact, let alone intimacy. There was no way he would ever want to get close to her.

of her

cried in her sleep, and she’d clung to

remember exactly what she’d done

the current situation–she had probably kissed him.

dream… she had dreamed of him holding her, and she’d gotten mad that he wasn’t holding her properly, so she’d grabbed him

wasn’t just a dream–it had clearly happened in real

She definitely kissed him.

how much he loathed her, there was no way their lips would be

now.

awake. Why did her damn

full–body shiver and yanked back her right

left arm was still wrapped around his waist, she quickly pulled that back too and scooted to the edge of the bed, putting as much distance

ago, when she’d been in his arms, when he kissed her so

heat had burned

away from him–he felt an emptiness, not just in

that cooling void, also brought his rationality

he had kissed her. He had pulled

had almost gone too

He had betrayed Leila.

grandfather had been right–he wasn’t worthy of being

so fierce it made

“James…”

were closed, Lily had caught the flash of pain and revulsion in his gaze

ago.

she assumed it was because she— emboldened by her dream–had crossed the line and done something unforgivable to

no idea how to explain it

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