Chapter 200 The Weight of Shame

He was still drowning in a tide of self–loathing.

He despised fickle, indecisive people.

And he despised himself even more for becoming one of them.

But the cruel reality was–tonight, he had completely lost control of his body.

He tried, with great difficulty, to pull away. But as her kiss deepened, he found himself overtaking her, almost devouring her breath entirely.

“Mm…”

James‘ kiss was too fierce.

Lily, who had been completely absorbed in her romantic dream, found herself unable to breathe. The suffocating sensation abruptly pulled her back to consciousness.

She blinked her sleepy eyes open–and was met with a pair of red–tinted, misty eyes.

And right after that–James‘ face, inches from her own.

They were clearly kissing.

And her hand was still…

Realizing what she’d just done, Lily nearly fainted from shock.

In her mind, James absolutely hated her. He especially couldn’t stand physical contact, let alone intimacy. There was no way he would ever want to get close to her.

dreamed of

when she cried in her sleep, and she’d clung to him like a lunatic, calling him “Mom” while

what

situation–she had probably

and she’d gotten mad that

wasn’t just a dream–it had

She definitely kissed him.

how much he loathed her, there was no way their lips would be touching

now.

awake. Why did her damn mouth always do these outrageous, shameless things while

shiver and yanked back her right

arm was still wrapped around his waist, she quickly pulled that back too

his arms, when he kissed her so hungrily, James had felt

had burned away all

-now that she was sitting away from him–he felt an emptiness, not just in his chest, but in

space, that cooling void, also brought his rationality slowly

with it came the crushing realization: he had kissed her. He had

had almost gone

He had betrayed Leila.

had been right–he wasn’t worthy of being

pain so fierce it made him

“James…”

caught the flash of

ago.

what inner turmoil he was facing. Naturally, she assumed it was because she— emboldened by her dream–had crossed the line and done

Mortified. She had no idea how to explain it

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