The Female Alpha’s Sanctuary

Chapter 113
“Don’t try to be sly, Meredith. That goes for you too.”
I hear her groan before taking Williams with her, who was putting up a fight exclaiming we didn’t know he was there too. We hear his shoes being dragged across the floorboards and his whines of protest slowly thinning out into silence. I sigh, dropping my chin on Raizel’s shoulder. My eyes flutter shut at the feel of his hand combing my hair back, a common gesture of intimacy between partners.
It soothed both the human and the wolf.
“For how long are you staying?”
I ask, afraid to hear that he’s leaving soon. I pretend to be calm, but really there’s a war going on in my head the longer he stays quiet. Raizel sighs but his eyes are still shut. I feel him rest his head. against mine and tilt it to the side as he stares at me cutely. Dark, silky hair tickles the side of my face.
“How long do you want me to?”
How about you stop being adorable so I can give you a reasonable answer? I don’t think ‘forever’ would be acceptable.
“How long do you have?”
He smiles, opening one eye.
“For as long as you want.”

I laugh. If anyone were to see the Bloodlust Alpha like this, they’d probably call him a fraud. After all, the Bloodlust Alpha being cute isn’t in his character. When people would describe him, it would usually be in the lines of ‘terrifying, powerful, merciless, dominating, ruthless,
“That’s not something an Alpha should say.”
“And yet, here I am saying it.”
We stare at each other unyieldingly and settle only when slow smiles start to stretch on our faces. His tight hold on me loosens enough so that I can pull away. He’s about to protest but stops when I take his hands in mine and interlace our fingers together. The perfect fit.
I look down to my shoes my I start to feel conflicting emotions rise from within me.
“Do you think we’re moving too fast?”
I don’t want to look at him. I already feel regret for asking that question start to settle inside me, but he doesn’t give me much time to feel any more remorse. He squeezes my hands softly, causing my gaze to shift toward him. His face is relaxed, gentle grey eyes stare down at me with no sign of dismay rooting in his pupils.
“Do you feel that way?”
I shake my head, a blush starting to fan over my cheeks. I shift to my other foot, biting my bottom lip when I glance over to his expectant face.
“No, but it’s just… I don’t know how this relationship stuff works.”
I pull my hands from his and wave my hand between us.
“I’ve only ever seen movies or read books and usually they wait like.. I don’t know, weeks? Months? I don’t have any prior experience in dating or intimacy and honestly, I don’t even know what the f uck I’m doing right now.”
I just unceasingly blabber and it doesn’t reach me that I just admitted to never being in a relationship, in turn, admitted that I’ve never kissed anyone.
Until now.
Until him.
Raizel’s eyebrows shoot up. A few seconds go by without either one of us saying anything and I feel the humiliation like cold water being thrown over me as he just stares at me in shock.Of course this must be a shock to him. I’m sure he’s at least had his first kiss by now. Maybe a few secret relationships or what not. Now all of a sudden, I don’t feel so worthy of him. Their words resonate in my mind about being unworthy for the Luna position and the diminished fire in me, returns. I told myself I would never put myself down like that. Especially not because of their words. I not be as experienced as other people, but I knew my worth. I knew what I deserved and Raizel seemed to be just that. He was the one I was waiting for and if he didn’t like it, then there was no way this would work out between us.
“That makes two of us, then.”
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