The Girl He Craves

Chapter 24

Sophie’s pov
I stared at the casket. The casket that confined Carson’s corpse inside.
My throat burned and every word the priest let out seemed to go on deaf ears.
The only sounds I can focus on was the sound of the pattering rain that fell on the umbrella Ingrid held over my head so I’d not get wet
I think I deserve to get wet. I deserve to feel the cold of the rain. Maybe then I’d start to feel again.
Since Carson’s death a week and a few days ago, I had become numb. I could not feel anymore except for the eating guilt
Ingrid wrapped one of her arms around my midsection and held me close as Carson’s parents wept loudly Their cries were louder than the pattering rain and that did not surprise me.
Mila looks over at me and looks at me in sorrow. She stood beside me and grabbed a hold of my hand. She squeezes it in reassurance
She knew everything. I told her everything. And she knew how fucking messed up I was now after what happened
She was the only one who knew why the two boys were fighting that day.
“Wait. No don’t put my baby in the dirt. Wait no! He’s not dead! He can’t be. I saw him last night. He’s not dead. Don’t put him down yet!” Carson’s mother screamed and started to thrash in her husband’s hold.
My stomach churns and I feel disgusted to even be in their presence knowing I was the main reason they lost their son.
I didn’t deserve to be here. I didn’t deserve to recieve everyone’s sympathy while Aiden got nothing but pitchforks thrown at him. They blamed him. They called him the devil.
Everyone turned their backs on him.
But me, everyone was way too sweet, way too nice to me. I didn’t like it. I hated it. I didn’t deserve their words, I didn’t deserve their sympathy. I was the main reason Carson was dead.
If I hadn’t
“No my baby boy! Don’t leave us! Please you can’t leave us! You were supposed to grow old Carson, give us grandchildren. How can you just leave us so soon?!” His mother screamed, tugging forward but her husband who was still visibly crying held her back.

Her words had my heart pinching and my eyes began to water again. I have been crying for so many days, for so many hours that I didn’t know i had any tears left to let out.
But feeling them trail down my cheeks showed me that I still had more than I thought. I wasn’t done crying and I didn’t think I would ever stop
The casket was now being placed down in the hole they had dug up for where he would rest. I felt sick to my stomach.
“Noi Please no Don’t put him down’ He’s okay! He’s here with us! Carson baby come out and stop playing! Carson please stop giving moma anael Carson! Pleasel Carson!’ Hie inom screamed louder, thrashing harder in her husband’s hold.
“Marge he’s gone Carson’s dad cried, hugging his wife tightly
Her bottom hip wobble as she looks down at the casket that wos now her son’s bed. She cried louder. I promise I’ll make that devil pay for what he did to you Carson I’ll make that bastard pay
Her words were like a blow to my heart even though they were not directed at me They were directed at Aiden but I felt it I felt their force
And suddenly I couldn’t breathe. I looked up at Ingrid and said shakily with panic “I need to go ” I didn’t wait for her to respond, I just turned around and aimlessly made my way through the people around us
“Sorry.” I gasped out when I shouldered someone by accident
“Sophie!” I heard Mila’s voice call out behind me
I needed to get out of here. I didn’t deserve to be here
If Aiden was a devil then I was a demon.
I shook my head, my hair quickly plastering to my face and black dress as the rain shower over me
The heavens felt my sorrow. They felt my guilt. They felt my pain. The rain….. were my tears
Oh Carson. If only you had not spoken to me that day. If only you had not called me pretty girl. You would’ve still been here
You would still be in your mother’s arms. Your parents would still have their son
This was my fault. All of it.
Not only was one boy dead because of me but another was behind bars and would be going for a hearing tomorrow. One that would seal Aiden’s fate.
They found a lot of evidence that showed that Aiden was always malicious to Carson. And on the surveillance camera they saw the two boys engaging into a fight.
They couldn’t hear what they were yelling about but apparently from the angle of the camera, it showed Aiden had either punched or pushed Carson down the stairs.
That was enough to put him behind bars and hold him until his hearing. What made it even worst was that Rena recalled Aiden threatening to kill Carson in the diner when they were fighting.
His friends denied it but the owner of the diner also showed the footage from the surveillance camera where you could hear loud and clear what Aiden had said to Carson that day. Which did include him saying he’d kill him.
I knew he hadn’t meant it in that kind of way, but with all the evidence and others coming forward to speak on how much of an asshole he was 10 Carson, Aiden stood no chance.
Had I really just ruined two boys future because of my selfish heart and actions?
I shook my head. Aiden wasn’t the devil. I was
My legs feltjello and weak and I found myself falling on my bottom beside someone’s tomb.
I was a good distance away from the funeral but I knew someone had followed me.
An umbrella hovers over my head to block the rain from seeping to my bones. Mila sat beside me and one of her arms hugged me.
“Everything is going to be okay Soph. I’ll always be here for you no matter what.” Mila whispered, kissing my cold cheek
I stared at the trees off into the distance. I knew the mud was creating a mess behind my dress and I knew that I might catch a cold. But I didn’t care