Chapter 42

“What, is your subconscious homophobic?” I ask, continuing to be frustrated and a little annoyed at him for not believing me even though I’m telling him the truth and spilling a serious secret for his own good.

Because honestly! I could make out with him here! And I would be the only one who knew that it was real!

I’m doing this for him, to be fair, and yet he persists in not believing me! It’s very rude.

“It might be,” Luca says with a shrug, still looking down at me. “I wouldn’t think that it was, but here you are, still not kissing me, even though I keep trying. Honestly, Ari, being shut down by the figment of my own imagination is very annoying –”

“I’m real!” I insist again, this time through my teeth.

“Prove it,” he says, shrugging.

“Ask me anything!”

“That won’t work,” he says, turning his head to the side. “Anything you say is something I already know or think I know. No way to verify that it’s true.

“Fine,” I say, crossing my arms and lifting my chin. “Ask me something tomorrow, in real life – something impossible, that you’d never predict. I’ll give you the same answer here as I do then.”

Luca turns his head a little, considering. “That could work,” he murmurs, but then he turns back to me with a sly smile. “But in the meantime, you and I could, you know, fool around a little…”

In the distance, my wolf howls with delight.

“Whoa,” Luca says, turning to look for her. “What was that?”

“It was my wolf,” I sigh.

“Really?” he asks, and then the turns back to me, smirking. “Your wolf does…not sound adverse to the idea.” He leans more fully against the tree now, bringing his body closer to mine and kind of pinning me back against the trunk in a way that…

12:49 Sun, 10 Mar

Chapter 42

That I do not mind at all.

“Luca,” I sigh, and honestly I have to close my eyes as I turn my face away from him, because if I spend even a moment longer looking up at the shadows his long lashes cast against his cheeks…I am definitely going to do something I regret.

“What?” he asks softly, cupping my cheek in his palm and turning my face back to his, his hand and his voice both impossibly gentle. “What do you want, Ari?”

And his question…I know instinctually that there are layers to it. That he’s asking me what I want, but also what I like –

to be kissed.

him

me tight against him as he presses his mouth hard to

tree in a way that feels….god, it feels fucking amazing, his body pressed flush against mine. “I

already glaring. “Not that kind of question,” I growl, and

his thumb along the skin of my cheek. “Real–Ari had my

answer

not fair to be in this dream state with him

very

going to

mean, it is a very girly desert. “Of course sprinkles,” I murmur, sighing as I take one last look of him, “too many.

I take a deep breath, savoring his scent and the press of his muscled torso against me for one last second. I hesitate, but then I lift my hands, and let my palms press against his sides,

a moment, I let myself imagine what his bare skin would feel like under

passes

Ari,” he growls, leaning in

turn my head, and press my eyes shut, and will the dream to

clench my teeth with a groan,

spend too long with my face buried in my pillow, feeling sorry for myself, cursing myself vehemently for having a sense of ethics and the willpower to stop Luca from doing

it, god damn it I wanted to kiss

now, who the hell knows when I’ll have the chance – because Luca, he just wanted to kiss the figment of his imagination that looks like me so he can figure out how he’s feeling. As soon as he realizes that that

run screaming from the

wrapping myself up in my soft white duvet, considering it. Because Luca – he still thinks I’m a boy, and as much as he’s willing to subconsciously consider

he is straight, and that I’m just unfairly confusing him because I’m his

revealed today how tenuous my secret already is. And as much as I’m fine with Ben knowing… Luca? My mate? It’s a different story – an unpredictable level of exposure that I’m just not ready for yet.

at this school, because failing

Chapter 12

And I’ve just, just gotten hold of the thing I never knew I always wanted: a

all ready to give that up

the chance to make out

eyes and force myself to try and go back to sleep –

and Rafe wake up early, some kind of Alpha alarm clock that I was not born

pillow into the open curtain of my nook. I jump and shrick when it hits me right

spies get an extra hour of sleep,” I growl, pulling the blankets over myself and

they want breakfast, they don’t,” Rafe says, laughing and yanking my away, making me

duvet

I ask, sitting up finally

he walks out of the bathroom, brushing as he strides around the room in his underwear, getting ready for the day.

looking around for my boots. Rafe tosses one in my direction as he takes Jesse’s place in the bathroom. I sigh and grab it, yawning so wide my jaw cracks. As I pull my boot on I hope that there’s coffee

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