Chapter 42

“What, is your subconscious homophobic?” I ask, continuing to be frustrated and a little annoyed at him for not believing me even though I’m telling him the truth and spilling a serious secret for his own good.

Because honestly! I could make out with him here! And I would be the only one who knew that it was real!

I’m doing this for him, to be fair, and yet he persists in not believing me! It’s very rude.

“It might be,” Luca says with a shrug, still looking down at me. “I wouldn’t think that it was, but here you are, still not kissing me, even though I keep trying. Honestly, Ari, being shut down by the figment of my own imagination is very annoying –”

“I’m real!” I insist again, this time through my teeth.

“Prove it,” he says, shrugging.

“Ask me anything!”

“That won’t work,” he says, turning his head to the side. “Anything you say is something I already know or think I know. No way to verify that it’s true.

“Fine,” I say, crossing my arms and lifting my chin. “Ask me something tomorrow, in real life – something impossible, that you’d never predict. I’ll give you the same answer here as I do then.”

Luca turns his head a little, considering. “That could work,” he murmurs, but then he turns back to me with a sly smile. “But in the meantime, you and I could, you know, fool around a little…”

In the distance, my wolf howls with delight.

“Whoa,” Luca says, turning to look for her. “What was that?”

“It was my wolf,” I sigh.

“Really?” he asks, and then the turns back to me, smirking. “Your wolf does…not sound adverse to the idea.” He leans more fully against the tree now, bringing his body closer to mine and kind of pinning me back against the trunk in a way that…

12:49 Sun, 10 Mar

Chapter 42

That I do not mind at all.

“Luca,” I sigh, and honestly I have to close my eyes as I turn my face away from him, because if I spend even a moment longer looking up at the shadows his long lashes cast against his cheeks…I am definitely going to do something I regret.

“What?” he asks softly, cupping my cheek in his palm and turning my face back to his, his hand and his voice both impossibly gentle. “What do you want, Ari?”

And his question…I know instinctually that there are layers to it. That he’s asking me what I want, but also what I like –

want to be

him to put his

I want him to pull me tight against him as he presses his mouth hard to mine – which I decidedly

that feels….god, it feels fucking amazing, his body pressed flush against mine.

fly open, already glaring. “Not that

even as he strokes his thumb along the skin of my cheek. “Real–Ari had my

answer immediately, “with

decided last time. It is not fair to be in this dream state with him and be

we both very clearly want

both going to know that it’s

girly desert. “Of course sprinkles,” I murmur, sighing

me for one last second. I hesitate, but then I lift my hands, and let my palms press against his sides, feeling the lines of his obliques as I

just for a moment, I let myself imagine what his bare skin

passes

he growls, leaning

my eyes shut, and will the dream to end.

and I clench my teeth with a groan, turning and burying

vehemently for having a sense of ethics and the willpower to stop Luca

it, god damn it

of his imagination that

screaming from the

think he will. I sigh, curling up in my pillows and wrapping myself up in my soft white duvet, considering it. Because Luca – he still thinks I’m a boy, and as much

that I’m just unfairly confusing him because I’m his mate underneath this

of this, because Ben revealed today how tenuous my secret already is. And as much as I’m fine with Ben knowing…

hiding my gender at this school, because failing to do so means getting

Chapter 12

the thing I never knew I always wanted: a chance at the Espionage

ready to give that up with Luca

even for the chance

and force myself to try and go back to sleep – a

kind of Alpha alarm clock that I was not born with

the open curtain of my nook. I

growl, pulling the blankets over myself and nestling back

don’t,” Rafe says, laughing and yanking my

duvet

ask, sitting up finally when I realize they’re

out of the bathroom, brushing as he strides around the room in his underwear, getting ready for the day. “Breakfast all together with

it, yawning so wide my jaw cracks. As I pull my boot on I hope that there’s coffee with breakfast – because while dream states do happen while you’re dreaming, I’m not sure that I’d say they let you wake up relaxed

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