Chapter 42

“What, is your subconscious homophobic?” I ask, continuing to be frustrated and a little annoyed at him for not believing me even though I’m telling him the truth and spilling a serious secret for his own good.

Because honestly! I could make out with him here! And I would be the only one who knew that it was real!

I’m doing this for him, to be fair, and yet he persists in not believing me! It’s very rude.

“It might be,” Luca says with a shrug, still looking down at me. “I wouldn’t think that it was, but here you are, still not kissing me, even though I keep trying. Honestly, Ari, being shut down by the figment of my own imagination is very annoying –”

“I’m real!” I insist again, this time through my teeth.

“Prove it,” he says, shrugging.

“Ask me anything!”

“That won’t work,” he says, turning his head to the side. “Anything you say is something I already know or think I know. No way to verify that it’s true.

“Fine,” I say, crossing my arms and lifting my chin. “Ask me something tomorrow, in real life – something impossible, that you’d never predict. I’ll give you the same answer here as I do then.”

Luca turns his head a little, considering. “That could work,” he murmurs, but then he turns back to me with a sly smile. “But in the meantime, you and I could, you know, fool around a little…”

In the distance, my wolf howls with delight.

“Whoa,” Luca says, turning to look for her. “What was that?”

“It was my wolf,” I sigh.

“Really?” he asks, and then the turns back to me, smirking. “Your wolf does…not sound adverse to the idea.” He leans more fully against the tree now, bringing his body closer to mine and kind of pinning me back against the trunk in a way that…

12:49 Sun, 10 Mar

Chapter 42

That I do not mind at all.

“Luca,” I sigh, and honestly I have to close my eyes as I turn my face away from him, because if I spend even a moment longer looking up at the shadows his long lashes cast against his cheeks…I am definitely going to do something I regret.

“What?” he asks softly, cupping my cheek in his palm and turning my face back to his, his hand and his voice both impossibly gentle. “What do you want, Ari?”

And his question…I know instinctually that there are layers to it. That he’s asking me what I want, but also what I like –

want to

want him to put his

tight against him as he presses his mouth hard to mine – which I decidedly do

pinning me back against the tree in a way that feels….god, it feels fucking amazing, his body pressed flush

laughs darkly and my eyes fly open, already glaring. “Not that kind of question,”

my game even as he strokes his thumb along the skin of my cheek. “Real–Ari had my nan’s coffee cake tonight, which is my favorite

I answer

what I decided last time. It is not fair to be in this dream state with him and be the only one knowing what’s going

both very clearly

going to know that

on top?” Luca asks, teasing – because, I mean, it is a very girly desert. “Of course sprinkles,” I murmur, sighing as I

of his muscled torso against me for one last second. I hesitate, but then I lift my hands, and let my palms press against

myself imagine

passes through

he growls, leaning in

eyes shut, and will the dream to end.

open in my bed and I clench my teeth with a groan, turning and burying my face into

feeling sorry for myself, cursing myself vehemently for having a sense of

god damn it, god damn it I wanted

knows when I’ll have the chance – because Luca, he just wanted to kiss the figment of his imagination that looks like me so he can figure out how

screaming from the

my pillows and wrapping myself up in my soft white duvet, considering it. Because Luca – he still thinks I’m a boy, and as much as he’s willing to subconsciously consider experimenting with kissing

think that he is straight, and that I’m just unfairly confusing him because I’m his mate underneath this boy

worrying about all of the complications of this, because Ben revealed today how tenuous my secret already is. And as much as I’m fine with Ben knowing… Luca? My mate? It’s

still hiding my gender at this school, because

Chapter 12

out. And I’ve just, just gotten hold of the thing I never knew I always wanted: a chance at the Espionage Track at

not at all ready to give that up

the chance

and force myself to try and go back to sleep – a state which

up early, some kind of Alpha alarm clock that I was not born with making them

the open curtain of my nook. I jump and shrick when it hits

spies get an extra hour of sleep,” I growl, pulling the blankets over myself and nestling back

breakfast, they don’t,” Rafe says, laughing and yanking my away, making

duvet

sitting up finally when I

walks out of the bathroom, brushing as he strides around the room in

place in the bathroom. I sigh and grab it, yawning so wide my jaw cracks. As I pull my boot on I hope that there’s coffee with breakfast –

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