Chapter 42
“What, is your subconscious homophobic?” I ask, continuing to be frustrated and a little annoyed at him for not believing me even though I’m telling him the truth and spilling a serious secret for his own good.
Because honestly! I could make out with him here! And I would be the only one who knew that it was real!
I’m doing this for him, to be fair, and yet he persists in not believing me! It’s very rude.
“It might be,” Luca says with a shrug, still looking down at me. “I wouldn’t think that it was, but here you are, still not kissing me, even though I keep trying. Honestly, Ari, being shut down by the figment of my own imagination is very annoying –”
“I’m real!” I insist again, this time through my teeth.
“Prove it,” he says, shrugging.
“Ask me anything!”
“That won’t work,” he says, turning his head to the side. “Anything you say is something I already know or think I know. No way to verify that it’s true.
“Fine,” I say, crossing my arms and lifting my chin. “Ask me something tomorrow, in real life – something impossible, that you’d never predict. I’ll give you the same answer here as I do then.”
Luca turns his head a little, considering. “That could work,” he murmurs, but then he turns back to me with a sly smile. “But in the meantime, you and I could, you know, fool around a little…”
In the distance, my wolf howls with delight.
“Whoa,” Luca says, turning to look for her. “What was that?”
“It was my wolf,” I sigh.
“Really?” he asks, and then the turns back to me, smirking. “Your wolf does…not sound adverse to the idea.” He leans more fully against the tree now, bringing his body closer to mine and kind of pinning me back against the trunk in a way that…
12:49 Sun, 10 Mar
Chapter 42
That I do not mind at all.
“Luca,” I sigh, and honestly I have to close my eyes as I turn my face away from him, because if I spend even a moment longer looking up at the shadows his long lashes cast against his cheeks…I am definitely going to do something I regret.
“What?” he asks softly, cupping my cheek in his palm and turning my face back to his, his hand and his voice both impossibly gentle. “What do you want, Ari?”
And his question…I know instinctually that there are layers to it. That he’s asking me what I want, but also what I like –
to
him to put
him as he presses his mouth hard to mine – which I decidedly
sigh, as he rests his weight deliciously against me, pinning me back against the tree in a way that feels….god, it feels fucking amazing, his body pressed flush against mine. “I want you to ask me
“Not that kind of question,” I growl, and he laughs
along the skin of my cheek. “Real–Ari had my nan’s coffee cake tonight,
ice cream,” I answer
by what I decided last time. It is not fair to be in this dream state with
very clearly
to know that it’s
very girly desert. “Of course sprinkles,” I murmur, sighing as I take one last look of him, “too many.
practical.” I take a deep breath, savoring his scent and the press of his muscled torso against me for one last second. I hesitate, but then I lift my hands, and let my palms
myself imagine what his bare skin would feel like under
hard shudder passes
it, Ari,” he growls,
eyes shut, and will the
groan, turning and burying my face into a pillow to stifle the
long with my face buried in my pillow, feeling sorry for myself, cursing myself vehemently for having a sense of ethics and the willpower to stop Luca from doing something he’d probably
damn it, god damn it I wanted to kiss
wanted to kiss the figment of his imagination that looks like me so he can figure
run screaming from
pillows and wrapping myself up in my soft white duvet, considering it. Because Luca – he still thinks I’m a boy, and as much as he’s willing to subconsciously
just unfairly confusing him
the complications of this, because Ben revealed today how tenuous my secret already is. And as much as I’m fine with Ben knowing… Luca? My mate? It’s a different story – an unpredictable level of exposure
gender at this school, because failing to do so means getting
Chapter 12
hold of the thing I never knew I always wanted: a chance at the Espionage Track
to give that up with Luca
the chance to make
force myself to try and
Alpha alarm clock that I
open curtain of my nook. I jump
spies get an extra hour of sleep,” I growl, pulling the blankets
want breakfast, they don’t,” Rafe says, laughing and yanking my away, making
duvet
finally when I realize they’re not going to leave me in any
Jesse says around his toothbrush as he walks out of the bathroom, brushing as he strides around the room in his underwear, getting ready for
looking around for my boots. Rafe tosses one in my direction as he takes Jesse’s place in the bathroom. I sigh and grab it, yawning so wide my jaw cracks. As I pull my boot on I hope that there’s coffee with breakfast – because while dream states do happen while you’re dreaming, I’m not sure that
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