Chapter 42

“What, is your subconscious homophobic?” I ask, continuing to be frustrated and a little annoyed at him for not believing me even though I’m telling him the truth and spilling a serious secret for his own good.

Because honestly! I could make out with him here! And I would be the only one who knew that it was real!

I’m doing this for him, to be fair, and yet he persists in not believing me! It’s very rude.

“It might be,” Luca says with a shrug, still looking down at me. “I wouldn’t think that it was, but here you are, still not kissing me, even though I keep trying. Honestly, Ari, being shut down by the figment of my own imagination is very annoying –”

“I’m real!” I insist again, this time through my teeth.

“Prove it,” he says, shrugging.

“Ask me anything!”

“That won’t work,” he says, turning his head to the side. “Anything you say is something I already know or think I know. No way to verify that it’s true.

“Fine,” I say, crossing my arms and lifting my chin. “Ask me something tomorrow, in real life – something impossible, that you’d never predict. I’ll give you the same answer here as I do then.”

Luca turns his head a little, considering. “That could work,” he murmurs, but then he turns back to me with a sly smile. “But in the meantime, you and I could, you know, fool around a little…”

In the distance, my wolf howls with delight.

“Whoa,” Luca says, turning to look for her. “What was that?”

“It was my wolf,” I sigh.

“Really?” he asks, and then the turns back to me, smirking. “Your wolf does…not sound adverse to the idea.” He leans more fully against the tree now, bringing his body closer to mine and kind of pinning me back against the trunk in a way that…

12:49 Sun, 10 Mar

Chapter 42

That I do not mind at all.

“Luca,” I sigh, and honestly I have to close my eyes as I turn my face away from him, because if I spend even a moment longer looking up at the shadows his long lashes cast against his cheeks…I am definitely going to do something I regret.

“What?” he asks softly, cupping my cheek in his palm and turning my face back to his, his hand and his voice both impossibly gentle. “What do you want, Ari?”

And his question…I know instinctually that there are layers to it. That he’s asking me what I want, but also what I like –

I want to

him to put his

he presses his mouth

back against the tree in a way that

fly open, already glaring. “Not

of my cheek. “Real–Ari

answer immediately, “with

It is not fair to be in this dream state with him and be the only one knowing what’s going on. If we’re

we both very clearly want to?

we’re both going to know that

very girly desert. “Of course sprinkles,” I

for one last second. I hesitate, but then I lift my hands, and let my palms press against his sides, feeling the lines of his obliques as I slowly slide my hands down towards

moment, I let myself imagine what his bare skin would feel like under

hard shudder passes through Luca’s body.

he growls, leaning

turn my head, and press my eyes shut,

fly open in my bed and I clench my teeth with a groan, turning and burying my face into a pillow to stifle the sound of

pillow, feeling sorry for myself, cursing myself vehemently for having a sense of

god damn it I wanted to kiss him.

have the chance – because Luca, he just wanted to kiss the figment of his imagination that looks like me so he can figure out how he’s feeling. As soon

to run screaming from the

duvet, considering it. Because Luca – he still thinks I’m a boy, and as

straight, and that I’m just unfairly confusing him because

And as much as I’m fine with Ben knowing… Luca? My mate? It’s a different story – an unpredictable level of exposure that

gender at this school, because failing

Chapter 12

the thing I never knew I always wanted: a chance

not at all ready to give that up

for the chance to

I sigh, turning over again in my blankets, and I close my eyes and force myself to try

and Rafe wake up early, some kind of Alpha alarm clock that I was not born with making

open curtain of my nook. I jump and shrick when

an extra hour of sleep,” I growl, pulling the blankets over myself and nestling back

they want breakfast, they don’t,” Rafe says, laughing and

duvet

the dumbwaiter?” I ask, sitting up finally when I realize they’re not going to leave me

brushing as he strides

my jaw cracks. As I pull my boot on I hope that there’s coffee with breakfast – because while dream states do happen while you’re dreaming, I’m not sure that I’d say they let you wake

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