Chapter 42

“What, is your subconscious homophobic?” I ask, continuing to be frustrated and a little annoyed at him for not believing me even though I’m telling him the truth and spilling a serious secret for his own good.

Because honestly! I could make out with him here! And I would be the only one who knew that it was real!

I’m doing this for him, to be fair, and yet he persists in not believing me! It’s very rude.

“It might be,” Luca says with a shrug, still looking down at me. “I wouldn’t think that it was, but here you are, still not kissing me, even though I keep trying. Honestly, Ari, being shut down by the figment of my own imagination is very annoying –”

“I’m real!” I insist again, this time through my teeth.

“Prove it,” he says, shrugging.

“Ask me anything!”

“That won’t work,” he says, turning his head to the side. “Anything you say is something I already know or think I know. No way to verify that it’s true.

“Fine,” I say, crossing my arms and lifting my chin. “Ask me something tomorrow, in real life – something impossible, that you’d never predict. I’ll give you the same answer here as I do then.”

Luca turns his head a little, considering. “That could work,” he murmurs, but then he turns back to me with a sly smile. “But in the meantime, you and I could, you know, fool around a little…”

In the distance, my wolf howls with delight.

“Whoa,” Luca says, turning to look for her. “What was that?”

“It was my wolf,” I sigh.

“Really?” he asks, and then the turns back to me, smirking. “Your wolf does…not sound adverse to the idea.” He leans more fully against the tree now, bringing his body closer to mine and kind of pinning me back against the trunk in a way that…

12:49 Sun, 10 Mar

Chapter 42

That I do not mind at all.

“Luca,” I sigh, and honestly I have to close my eyes as I turn my face away from him, because if I spend even a moment longer looking up at the shadows his long lashes cast against his cheeks…I am definitely going to do something I regret.

“What?” he asks softly, cupping my cheek in his palm and turning my face back to his, his hand and his voice both impossibly gentle. “What do you want, Ari?”

And his question…I know instinctually that there are layers to it. That he’s asking me what I want, but also what I like –

to be kissed.

him to put

me tight against him as he presses his mouth

deliciously against me, pinning me back against the tree in a way that feels….god, it feels fucking amazing, his body pressed

and my eyes fly open, already glaring. “Not that kind of question,” I growl,

he whispers, playing my game even as he strokes his thumb along the skin of my cheek. “Real–Ari had my nan’s coffee

cream,” I answer immediately, “with whipped

in this dream state with him and be the only one knowing what’s going

we both very

we’re both going to know that it’s

very girly desert. “Of course sprinkles,” I murmur, sighing as I take one last look of

against me for one last second. I hesitate, but then I lift my hands, and let my palms press against his sides, feeling the lines of his obliques as I slowly slide my hands down

I do, just for a moment, I let myself imagine

hard shudder passes

it, Ari,” he

turn my head, and press my eyes shut, and will the dream to end.

with a groan, turning and

feeling sorry for myself, cursing myself vehemently for having a sense of

god damn it I

kiss the figment of his imagination that looks like me so he can figure out how he’s feeling. As soon as he realizes that that

screaming

at least I think he will. I sigh, curling up in my pillows and wrapping myself up in my soft white duvet, considering it. Because Luca – he still thinks I’m a boy, and as much as he’s willing to subconsciously consider experimenting with kissing

unfairly confusing

the complications of this, because Ben revealed today how tenuous my secret already is. And as much as I’m fine with Ben

hiding my gender at this school, because failing to do

Chapter 12

never knew

to give that up with Luca Grant.

chance to

I close my eyes and force myself to try and go back to sleep – a state

kind of Alpha alarm clock that I was not

of my nook.

spies get an extra hour of sleep,” I growl, pulling the blankets over

they want breakfast, they don’t,” Rafe says, laughing and yanking my away, making me shriek

duvet

up in the dumbwaiter?” I ask, sitting up finally when I realize they’re not going to leave me in any peace.

Jesse says around his toothbrush as he walks out of the bathroom, brushing as he strides around the room in his underwear, getting ready

my direction as he takes Jesse’s place in the bathroom. I sigh and grab it, yawning so wide my jaw cracks. As I pull my boot

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