Chapter 42
“What, is your subconscious homophobic?” I ask, continuing to be frustrated and a little annoyed at him for not believing me even though I’m telling him the truth and spilling a serious secret for his own good.
Because honestly! I could make out with him here! And I would be the only one who knew that it was real!
I’m doing this for him, to be fair, and yet he persists in not believing me! It’s very rude.
“It might be,” Luca says with a shrug, still looking down at me. “I wouldn’t think that it was, but here you are, still not kissing me, even though I keep trying. Honestly, Ari, being shut down by the figment of my own imagination is very annoying –”
“I’m real!” I insist again, this time through my teeth.
“Prove it,” he says, shrugging.
“Ask me anything!”
“That won’t work,” he says, turning his head to the side. “Anything you say is something I already know or think I know. No way to verify that it’s true.
“Fine,” I say, crossing my arms and lifting my chin. “Ask me something tomorrow, in real life – something impossible, that you’d never predict. I’ll give you the same answer here as I do then.”
Luca turns his head a little, considering. “That could work,” he murmurs, but then he turns back to me with a sly smile. “But in the meantime, you and I could, you know, fool around a little…”
In the distance, my wolf howls with delight.
“Whoa,” Luca says, turning to look for her. “What was that?”
“It was my wolf,” I sigh.
“Really?” he asks, and then the turns back to me, smirking. “Your wolf does…not sound adverse to the idea.” He leans more fully against the tree now, bringing his body closer to mine and kind of pinning me back against the trunk in a way that…
12:49 Sun, 10 Mar
Chapter 42
That I do not mind at all.
“Luca,” I sigh, and honestly I have to close my eyes as I turn my face away from him, because if I spend even a moment longer looking up at the shadows his long lashes cast against his cheeks…I am definitely going to do something I regret.
“What?” he asks softly, cupping my cheek in his palm and turning my face back to his, his hand and his voice both impossibly gentle. “What do you want, Ari?”
And his question…I know instinctually that there are layers to it. That he’s asking me what I want, but also what I like –
to
him to put
him to pull me tight against him as he presses his
sigh, as he rests his weight deliciously against me, pinning me back against the tree in a way that
“Not that kind
he strokes his thumb along the skin of my cheek. “Real–Ari had my
ice cream,” I answer immediately, “with
– because I stand by what I decided last time. It is not fair to be in this dream state with him and be the
we both very clearly want
we’re both going to know that it’s
I mean, it is a very girly desert. “Of course sprinkles,” I murmur, sighing as I take one last look
hesitate, but then I lift my hands, and let my palms press against his
imagine what his
shudder passes through
damn it, Ari,” he growls, leaning
my head, and press my eyes
a groan, turning and burying my face into a pillow to stifle the
sorry for myself, cursing myself vehemently for having a sense of ethics and the willpower to stop Luca
god damn it, god damn it I wanted
the chance – because Luca, he just wanted to kiss the figment of his imagination that looks like me so he can figure out how he’s feeling. As soon as he realizes that that figment is the
run screaming from
in my soft white duvet, considering it. Because Luca –
unfairly confusing him
already is. And as much as I’m fine with Ben knowing… Luca? My
gender at this school,
Chapter 12
of the thing I never knew I always wanted: a chance at the Espionage Track
I am not at all ready to give that
even for the chance
my eyes and force myself to try and go back to sleep – a state which feels very, very
Alpha alarm clock that I was not born with making them
‘em, little cousin!” Jesse shouts, throwing a pillow into the open curtain of my nook. I jump and shrick when it
I growl, pulling
they don’t,” Rafe says, laughing
duvet
just come up in the dumbwaiter?” I ask, sitting up finally when I realize they’re not
bathroom, brushing as he strides around the room
bathroom. I sigh and grab it, yawning so wide my jaw cracks. As I pull my boot on I hope that there’s coffee with breakfast – because while dream states do happen
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