Chapter 42

“What, is your subconscious homophobic?” I ask, continuing to be frustrated and a little annoyed at him for not believing me even though I’m telling him the truth and spilling a serious secret for his own good.

Because honestly! I could make out with him here! And I would be the only one who knew that it was real!

I’m doing this for him, to be fair, and yet he persists in not believing me! It’s very rude.

“It might be,” Luca says with a shrug, still looking down at me. “I wouldn’t think that it was, but here you are, still not kissing me, even though I keep trying. Honestly, Ari, being shut down by the figment of my own imagination is very annoying –”

“I’m real!” I insist again, this time through my teeth.

“Prove it,” he says, shrugging.

“Ask me anything!”

“That won’t work,” he says, turning his head to the side. “Anything you say is something I already know or think I know. No way to verify that it’s true.

“Fine,” I say, crossing my arms and lifting my chin. “Ask me something tomorrow, in real life – something impossible, that you’d never predict. I’ll give you the same answer here as I do then.”

Luca turns his head a little, considering. “That could work,” he murmurs, but then he turns back to me with a sly smile. “But in the meantime, you and I could, you know, fool around a little…”

In the distance, my wolf howls with delight.

“Whoa,” Luca says, turning to look for her. “What was that?”

“It was my wolf,” I sigh.

“Really?” he asks, and then the turns back to me, smirking. “Your wolf does…not sound adverse to the idea.” He leans more fully against the tree now, bringing his body closer to mine and kind of pinning me back against the trunk in a way that…

12:49 Sun, 10 Mar

Chapter 42

That I do not mind at all.

“Luca,” I sigh, and honestly I have to close my eyes as I turn my face away from him, because if I spend even a moment longer looking up at the shadows his long lashes cast against his cheeks…I am definitely going to do something I regret.

“What?” he asks softly, cupping my cheek in his palm and turning my face back to his, his hand and his voice both impossibly gentle. “What do you want, Ari?”

And his question…I know instinctually that there are layers to it. That he’s asking me what I want, but also what I like –

I want to be kissed.

precisely I want him to put

against him as he presses

way that feels….god, it feels fucking amazing,

“Not that kind of question,”

whispers, playing my game even as he strokes his thumb along the skin of my cheek. “Real–Ari had my nan’s coffee cake tonight, which is my favorite desert.

I answer

decided last time. It is not fair to be in this dream state with him and be the only one knowing what’s going on. If we’re going to do

we both very clearly

we’re both going to know that it’s

asks, teasing – because, I mean, it is a very girly desert. “Of course

his muscled torso against me for one last second. I hesitate, but then I lift

as I do, just for a moment, I let myself imagine what his bare skin would feel like

shudder passes through Luca’s

damn it, Ari,” he

my eyes shut, and will the dream to

my bed and I clench my teeth with a groan, turning and burying my face into a pillow to stifle the

pillow, feeling sorry for myself, cursing myself vehemently for having a sense of

god damn it I wanted to

wanted to kiss the figment of his imagination that looks like me so he can figure out how he’s feeling.

screaming from the

think he will. I sigh, curling up in my pillows and wrapping myself up in my soft white duvet, considering it. Because Luca – he still thinks I’m a boy, and as much as he’s willing to subconsciously

that he is straight, and that I’m just unfairly confusing him because I’m his

And as much as I’m fine with Ben knowing… Luca? My mate? It’s a different story – an unpredictable level of exposure that I’m just not ready for yet.

at this school, because failing to do so

Chapter 12

out. And I’ve just, just gotten hold of the thing I never knew I always wanted: a chance at the Espionage Track

I am not at all ready to give that up with Luca

chance to make

in my blankets, and I close my eyes and force myself to try and go back to sleep – a state which feels

Alpha alarm clock that I was

Jesse shouts, throwing a pillow into the open curtain of my

an extra hour of sleep,” I growl, pulling the blankets over myself and nestling

want breakfast, they don’t,” Rafe says, laughing and yanking

duvet

ask, sitting up finally when I

he walks out of the bathroom, brushing as he strides around the room in his

looking around for my boots. Rafe tosses one in my direction as he takes Jesse’s place in the bathroom. I sigh and grab it, yawning so wide my jaw cracks. As I pull my boot on I hope that there’s coffee with breakfast

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