Chapter 0370

He shrugs, stopping there, perhaps sensing that I don't want all the details. Or wanting to keep them for himself. But I don't begrudge him that.

I frown a little, though, at this phrasing. "So..." I say carefully, softly. "Did you not..."

*If you're asking if I wanted to," he murmurs, lifting his eyes to mine. "I did. That wasn't...the problem."

"Was there a problem?"

"No," he replies, earnest. "I mean, I liked it. I liked it a lot. We did it again, a couple more times after that day. They sent us out into the woods more often, and we'd collect wood, and sometimes she'd be there and sometimes she wouldn't. But when she was there, I was thrilled - and she was happy too, I could tell. We got closer, enjoyed each other's company, liked..." he sighs, and shakes his head a little like he doesn't know how to explain it. "We liked the physical stuff too I know we did."

"That's good, though," I murmur, reaching out a hand and lightly tracing my fingers through his hair. "Isn't it?"

But it just stopped. They sent me out into the woods still, but I just gathered wood, and

girl was able to find him for a season and then disappear? Was she some kind of magical fae? Some

both quiet for

perfectly lovely and acceptable way to lose your

I know that it's more

- we didn't even know we were unhappy in the barracks, not really, because...we didn't have anything to compare it to. But those handful of hours, stolen with Tasha in the woods..." he looks up at me now, and

are so many layers to this - a depth of complication and emotion that I can't even

I murmur, continuing to

other hand," he says, his voice dropping a little in anger. "Is that... didn't even....know what was happening.

at him for a moment, not getting, and he

staring off into the distance. "But I had

I smile a bit, continuing to stroke my fingers through his hair, because it is weird to talk about masturbation with people. Such a personal thing

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