#Chapter 83 – Ethan’s Confession

How did it come to this? I think morosely. How did everything go so wrong so quickly?

I’d like to think I’ve been shielding the pups from the truth about what happened between Jane and I all those years ago for their own safety and peace of mind, but if I’m honest, I think I’ve been protecting myself. I know how horribly I messed up with Jane, and as badly as it hurt to see my former mate looking at me with that expression of utter betrayal, seeing it on the faces of my innocent pups is worse. When I left the house this morning I was their hero,

now I’m their villain.

“Why don’t you come sit down.” I suggest to the pups, hoping they’ll agree. How am I ever going to explain this to them? They’re too young to even understand a fraction of it.

Despite my tormented thoughts, they obey. One by one they toddle into the living room,

settling on the sofa while I take a seat on the edge of the coffee table in front of them. I search their young faces for any hint of

openness, but they all seem completely

closed off.

“Listen.” I begin, not even knowing where I’m going with this. “I made a lot of

mistakes in the past, and I did a lot of things

I’m not proud of, but I love you and I love

your Mommy more than anything.”

The quadruplets exchange meaningful glances, “what does that mean?” Ryder

questions.

“It means that it’s true. Eve tricked me into

believing something terrible about Mommy,

and… I punished her.” I confess, “I put her

on house arrest.”

“But how could you b’lieve Eve?” Riley

demands, clearly affronted on her mother’s

behalf.

“Because I didn’t know how evil she was

then.” I explain, “I don’t have any other

excuse. I was a fool – I let her make a fool of

me, and believing her is the biggest regret of

my life, second only to how I treated your Mommy afterwards.”

“Wha’s house arrest?” Parker inquired,

clearly distracted by my previous choice of

words.

“It’s like what Paisley said, a permanent

time out.” I share.

“So you made Mommy a prisner,” Riley

summarizes, “for something she didn’ do.’

“Yes.” I concede. “That’s right. I made her

prisoner, and I’ll never regret

more.”

can see their affection

them. If

what I did

have flipped upside down. A little while

shame, guilt, and despair. I’m losing them. I think forlornly, I only just got them, and I’m

it’s your own fault. A little voice says

back of my head, after all, if you hadn’t

so cruel to Jane they wouldn’t be able to hold it against you.

young and stupid. I argue back,

understand the

of youthful indiscretions,

complexities of growth and redemption. To them I’m the evil man

out?” I ask

why this suddenly came up after

were both out all

Parker admits, looking at

just kicked a

To my horror, Riley,

and Ryder actually

frightened I’ll lash out at them. If I thought I felt ashamed

now,” I caution, softening my tone,

((

was just surprised.”

a monster.” Paisley murmurs, looking as though the sky is falling around

other man. “People aren’t angels or demons. Good people do bad things sometimes, and bad

which are you?” Ryder asks

at me.

think I’m a good man who was tricked into doing

can tell you is that I’m not the same man

understand.

They don’t.

Riley demands, “you weren’t you

change so much over the years that you don’t even

understand.” Ryder

saying

Riley explains in

humorlessly,

I just… I would

change the fact that I did it in

})

you were bad before, but

Parker

not anymore, but that’s not for me to decide.

the bad thing once, he could do

gain. Was

I’m doing everything I can to help your

mother.” I insist.

you think?”

whimpers, “I love

‘I love Mommy.”

Daddy hurt Mommy.” Riley reminds her, “He

})

a word, Riley, Parker and Ryder put their heads together, murmuring to each other under

voices, I catch the tail

“I think we

much nicer to Mommy.” Ryder

agrees.

was right, Mommy’s scared.”

don’ want her to be

we should leave.”

pulling away and looking curiously

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