#Chapter 83 – Ethan’s Confession

How did it come to this? I think morosely. How did everything go so wrong so quickly?

I’d like to think I’ve been shielding the pups from the truth about what happened between Jane and I all those years ago for their own safety and peace of mind, but if I’m honest, I think I’ve been protecting myself. I know how horribly I messed up with Jane, and as badly as it hurt to see my former mate looking at me with that expression of utter betrayal, seeing it on the faces of my innocent pups is worse. When I left the house this morning I was their hero,

now I’m their villain.

“Why don’t you come sit down.” I suggest to the pups, hoping they’ll agree. How am I ever going to explain this to them? They’re too young to even understand a fraction of it.

Despite my tormented thoughts, they obey. One by one they toddle into the living room,

settling on the sofa while I take a seat on the edge of the coffee table in front of them. I search their young faces for any hint of

openness, but they all seem completely

closed off.

“Listen.” I begin, not even knowing where I’m going with this. “I made a lot of

mistakes in the past, and I did a lot of things

I’m not proud of, but I love you and I love

your Mommy more than anything.”

The quadruplets exchange meaningful glances, “what does that mean?” Ryder

questions.

“It means that it’s true. Eve tricked me into

believing something terrible about Mommy,

and… I punished her.” I confess, “I put her

on house arrest.”

“But how could you b’lieve Eve?” Riley

demands, clearly affronted on her mother’s

behalf.

“Because I didn’t know how evil she was

then.” I explain, “I don’t have any other

excuse. I was a fool – I let her make a fool of

me, and believing her is the biggest regret of

my life, second only to how I treated your Mommy afterwards.”

“Wha’s house arrest?” Parker inquired,

clearly distracted by my previous choice of

words.

“It’s like what Paisley said, a permanent

time out.” I share.

“So you made Mommy a prisner,” Riley

summarizes, “for something she didn’ do.’

“Yes.” I concede. “That’s right. I made her

and I’ll never regret

more.”

affection for me

them. If someone did to

what I did

upside down. A little while ago I was happier than I’ve been in a

awash with shame, guilt, and despair. I’m losing them. I think forlornly, I only just

own fault. A little voice

after all, if

be able to hold it

and stupid.

don’t understand the blurry black

white shades of youthful

growth and redemption. To them I’m the evil man that hurt their

find out?” I ask

this suddenly

I were both out

admits, looking at

I’ve just

To

and Ryder actually

thought I felt ashamed before, it’s nothing compared to how terrible I feel now.

now,” I caution,

((

I was just surprised.”

you were a monster.” Paisley murmurs, looking as though the sky

other man. “People aren’t angels or demons. Good

are you?” Ryder

over at me.

think I’m a good man who was tricked into doing something terrible, but I

I’m not the

understand.

They don’t.

possible?” Riley demands, “you

one large hand through my hair, “but people change as time passes. You’ll see when you get older, sometimes you can change so much over the years that you don’t even

don’ understand.” Ryder

saying he

Riley explains in a

chuckle humorlessly, “I don’t have

just… I would

can’t change the fact

})

bad before, but you’re not

Parker presses.

not anymore, but that’s not for me to decide. It’s for you and

once, he could do it

already in trouble’ gain. Was dis your fault too?” She asks me.

doing everything I can

mother.” I insist.

think?” Parker asks.

“I

‘I love Mommy.”

Mommy.” Riley reminds

})

put their heads

voices, I catch the

“I think we should leave.” Riley is saying. 1

much nicer to Mommy.” Ryder

agrees.

right, Mommy’s scared.”

to be scared.

we should leave.”

other two murmur, pulling away and looking curiously towards

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