#Chapter 83 – Ethan’s Confession

How did it come to this? I think morosely. How did everything go so wrong so quickly?

I’d like to think I’ve been shielding the pups from the truth about what happened between Jane and I all those years ago for their own safety and peace of mind, but if I’m honest, I think I’ve been protecting myself. I know how horribly I messed up with Jane, and as badly as it hurt to see my former mate looking at me with that expression of utter betrayal, seeing it on the faces of my innocent pups is worse. When I left the house this morning I was their hero,

now I’m their villain.

“Why don’t you come sit down.” I suggest to the pups, hoping they’ll agree. How am I ever going to explain this to them? They’re too young to even understand a fraction of it.

Despite my tormented thoughts, they obey. One by one they toddle into the living room,

settling on the sofa while I take a seat on the edge of the coffee table in front of them. I search their young faces for any hint of

openness, but they all seem completely

closed off.

“Listen.” I begin, not even knowing where I’m going with this. “I made a lot of

mistakes in the past, and I did a lot of things

I’m not proud of, but I love you and I love

your Mommy more than anything.”

The quadruplets exchange meaningful glances, “what does that mean?” Ryder

questions.

“It means that it’s true. Eve tricked me into

believing something terrible about Mommy,

and… I punished her.” I confess, “I put her

on house arrest.”

“But how could you b’lieve Eve?” Riley

demands, clearly affronted on her mother’s

behalf.

“Because I didn’t know how evil she was

then.” I explain, “I don’t have any other

excuse. I was a fool – I let her make a fool of

me, and believing her is the biggest regret of

my life, second only to how I treated your Mommy afterwards.”

“Wha’s house arrest?” Parker inquired,

clearly distracted by my previous choice of

words.

“It’s like what Paisley said, a permanent

time out.” I share.

“So you made Mommy a prisner,” Riley

summarizes, “for something she didn’ do.’

“Yes.” I concede. “That’s right. I made her

prisoner, and I’ll never regret anything

more.”

affection for me

blame them. If someone did to

what I did to Jane, I’d

have flipped upside down. A little while ago I was

shame, guilt, and despair. I’m losing them. I think forlornly, I only just got them, and I’m already losing

your own fault. A little voice

my head, after all, if you hadn’t

so cruel to Jane they wouldn’t be able to

young and stupid.

don’t understand the blurry

of youthful indiscretions,

I’m the evil man that hurt

you find out?” I

this suddenly came up

I were both out all day.

us.” Parker admits, looking at me

I’ve just kicked a puppy.

To my

and Ryder actually

at them. If I thought I felt ashamed before, it’s nothing

I caution,

((

sorry. I was just surprised.”

looking as though the sky

sigh, feeling a rush of pure hatred for the other man. “People aren’t angels or demons. Good people do bad

which are you?” Ryder

over at

into doing something terrible, but I don’t know if your Mommy would

can tell you is that I’m not the same man I was then.” I proclaim,

understand.

They don’t.

Riley demands, “you weren’t

I was still me.” I state, dragging one large hand through my hair, “but people change as time passes. You’ll see when you get older, sometimes you can change so much over the years that you don’t even recognize the person you used to be, and having children is one of those things that can

understand.” Ryder

saying he has

in a stage whisper.

humorlessly, “I don’t

I just… I would never treat

way today, but I can’t change the fact that I did

})

you were bad before,

now?” Parker presses.

confirm, “And I’d like to think I’m not anymore, but that’s not for me to decide. It’s for you and your Mommy.

he could do it ‘gain.” Ryder contributes,

in trouble’ gain. Was dis your

I can to

mother.” I insist.

what’d you think?” Parker

whimpers, “I

‘I love Mommy.”

reminds her, “He locked her up.’

})

Riley, Parker and Ryder put their heads together, murmuring to each other under

towards their low voices, I

conversation. “I think we

much nicer to Mommy.” Ryder

agrees.

was right, Mommy’s scared.”

don’ want her to be

we should leave.”

The other two murmur, pulling away

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