#Chapter 83 – Ethan’s Confession

How did it come to this? I think morosely. How did everything go so wrong so quickly?

I’d like to think I’ve been shielding the pups from the truth about what happened between Jane and I all those years ago for their own safety and peace of mind, but if I’m honest, I think I’ve been protecting myself. I know how horribly I messed up with Jane, and as badly as it hurt to see my former mate looking at me with that expression of utter betrayal, seeing it on the faces of my innocent pups is worse. When I left the house this morning I was their hero,

now I’m their villain.

“Why don’t you come sit down.” I suggest to the pups, hoping they’ll agree. How am I ever going to explain this to them? They’re too young to even understand a fraction of it.

Despite my tormented thoughts, they obey. One by one they toddle into the living room,

settling on the sofa while I take a seat on the edge of the coffee table in front of them. I search their young faces for any hint of

openness, but they all seem completely

closed off.

“Listen.” I begin, not even knowing where I’m going with this. “I made a lot of

mistakes in the past, and I did a lot of things

I’m not proud of, but I love you and I love

your Mommy more than anything.”

The quadruplets exchange meaningful glances, “what does that mean?” Ryder

questions.

“It means that it’s true. Eve tricked me into

believing something terrible about Mommy,

and… I punished her.” I confess, “I put her

on house arrest.”

“But how could you b’lieve Eve?” Riley

demands, clearly affronted on her mother’s

behalf.

“Because I didn’t know how evil she was

then.” I explain, “I don’t have any other

excuse. I was a fool – I let her make a fool of

me, and believing her is the biggest regret of

my life, second only to how I treated your Mommy afterwards.”

“Wha’s house arrest?” Parker inquired,

clearly distracted by my previous choice of

words.

“It’s like what Paisley said, a permanent

time out.” I share.

“So you made Mommy a prisner,” Riley

summarizes, “for something she didn’ do.’

“Yes.” I concede. “That’s right. I made her

I’ll never regret

more.”

can see their affection for me

them.

what I did to Jane, I’d probably

I can’t believe how quickly things have flipped upside down. A little while ago I was

awash with shame, guilt, and despair. I’m losing them. I think forlornly, I

fault. A little voice says

head, after

be able to hold

young and stupid. I argue back,

understand the blurry black

of youthful indiscretions,

the complexities of growth and redemption. To them I’m the evil man that

out?” I ask

suddenly came up after

both out

told us.” Parker admits, looking at me

if I’ve just kicked a puppy.

I growl. To my horror,

Ryder actually flinch away

If I thought I felt ashamed before, it’s nothing compared to how terrible I feel

I caution, softening my

((

I was just surprised.”

monster.” Paisley murmurs, looking as though the sky is falling around her.

a rush of pure hatred for the other man. “People aren’t angels or demons. Good people do bad

are you?”

over at me.

a good man who was tricked into doing

can tell you is that I’m not the same man I was then.” I proclaim,

understand.

They don’t.

Riley demands, “you weren’t you

older, sometimes you can change so

don’ understand.” Ryder admits.

he’s saying

in a

humorlessly, “I don’t have

I just… I would

I can’t change the fact that

})

bad before,

now?” Parker presses.

not anymore, but that’s not for

thing once, he could do it

in trouble’ gain. Was dis your fault too?” She asks me.

doing everything I

mother.” I insist.

you think?” Parker asks.

whimpers, “I love Daddy,

‘I love Mommy.”

hurt Mommy.” Riley reminds

})

can say a word, Riley, Parker and Ryder put their heads together,

towards their low voices, I

their conversation. “I think we

is much nicer

agrees.

Mommy’s scared.”

her to be scared. I think

we should leave.”

away and looking curiously towards

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