#Chapter 83 – Ethan’s Confession

How did it come to this? I think morosely. How did everything go so wrong so quickly?

I’d like to think I’ve been shielding the pups from the truth about what happened between Jane and I all those years ago for their own safety and peace of mind, but if I’m honest, I think I’ve been protecting myself. I know how horribly I messed up with Jane, and as badly as it hurt to see my former mate looking at me with that expression of utter betrayal, seeing it on the faces of my innocent pups is worse. When I left the house this morning I was their hero,

now I’m their villain.

“Why don’t you come sit down.” I suggest to the pups, hoping they’ll agree. How am I ever going to explain this to them? They’re too young to even understand a fraction of it.

Despite my tormented thoughts, they obey. One by one they toddle into the living room,

settling on the sofa while I take a seat on the edge of the coffee table in front of them. I search their young faces for any hint of

openness, but they all seem completely

closed off.

“Listen.” I begin, not even knowing where I’m going with this. “I made a lot of

mistakes in the past, and I did a lot of things

I’m not proud of, but I love you and I love

your Mommy more than anything.”

The quadruplets exchange meaningful glances, “what does that mean?” Ryder

questions.

“It means that it’s true. Eve tricked me into

believing something terrible about Mommy,

and… I punished her.” I confess, “I put her

on house arrest.”

“But how could you b’lieve Eve?” Riley

demands, clearly affronted on her mother’s

behalf.

“Because I didn’t know how evil she was

then.” I explain, “I don’t have any other

excuse. I was a fool – I let her make a fool of

me, and believing her is the biggest regret of

my life, second only to how I treated your Mommy afterwards.”

“Wha’s house arrest?” Parker inquired,

clearly distracted by my previous choice of

words.

“It’s like what Paisley said, a permanent

time out.” I share.

“So you made Mommy a prisner,” Riley

summarizes, “for something she didn’ do.’

“Yes.” I concede. “That’s right. I made her

and I’ll never regret

more.”

their affection

blame them.

mother what I did

flipped upside down. A little while ago I was happier

losing them. I think forlornly, I only just got them, and

your own fault. A

of my head, after all,

they wouldn’t be able to

young and stupid. I

don’t understand the blurry black

white shades of youthful

the complexities of growth and redemption. To them I’m the evil man that hurt their mother, full stop.

you find out?” I ask them,

why this suddenly came

both out all

Parker admits, looking at me

if I’ve just

growl. To my

and Ryder actually flinch away

I’ll lash out at them. If I thought I felt ashamed before, it’s nothing

caution, softening

((

I was just surprised.”

a monster.” Paisley murmurs, looking as though the sky is falling

for the other man. “People aren’t angels or demons. Good people do bad things sometimes, and

are you?” Ryder asks

at

doing something terrible, but I don’t know if

can tell you is that I’m not the same man I was then.” I proclaim, praying they

understand.

They don’t.

Riley demands, “you weren’t you then?”

older, sometimes you can change so much over the years that you don’t

don’ understand.”

he’s saying

in

I chuckle humorlessly,

just… I

can’t change the fact that I did it

})

before, but

Parker

not anymore, but that’s not for me to

do it ‘gain.” Ryder contributes, gazing at me with newfound suspicion.

in trouble’ gain. Was dis your fault

I can to help your

mother.” I insist.

what’d you think?” Parker asks.

She whimpers, “I

‘I love Mommy.”

Riley reminds her, “He

})

a word, Riley, Parker and Ryder put their heads together, murmuring to each other under their

voices, I catch the

of their conversation. “I think we should leave.” Riley

much nicer

agrees.

was right, Mommy’s scared.” Parker

want her to be scared. I think

we should leave.”

two murmur, pulling away and looking curiously towards

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