#Chapter 83 – Ethan’s Confession

How did it come to this? I think morosely. How did everything go so wrong so quickly?

I’d like to think I’ve been shielding the pups from the truth about what happened between Jane and I all those years ago for their own safety and peace of mind, but if I’m honest, I think I’ve been protecting myself. I know how horribly I messed up with Jane, and as badly as it hurt to see my former mate looking at me with that expression of utter betrayal, seeing it on the faces of my innocent pups is worse. When I left the house this morning I was their hero,

now I’m their villain.

“Why don’t you come sit down.” I suggest to the pups, hoping they’ll agree. How am I ever going to explain this to them? They’re too young to even understand a fraction of it.

Despite my tormented thoughts, they obey. One by one they toddle into the living room,

settling on the sofa while I take a seat on the edge of the coffee table in front of them. I search their young faces for any hint of

openness, but they all seem completely

closed off.

“Listen.” I begin, not even knowing where I’m going with this. “I made a lot of

mistakes in the past, and I did a lot of things

I’m not proud of, but I love you and I love

your Mommy more than anything.”

The quadruplets exchange meaningful glances, “what does that mean?” Ryder

questions.

“It means that it’s true. Eve tricked me into

believing something terrible about Mommy,

and… I punished her.” I confess, “I put her

on house arrest.”

“But how could you b’lieve Eve?” Riley

demands, clearly affronted on her mother’s

behalf.

“Because I didn’t know how evil she was

then.” I explain, “I don’t have any other

excuse. I was a fool – I let her make a fool of

me, and believing her is the biggest regret of

my life, second only to how I treated your Mommy afterwards.”

“Wha’s house arrest?” Parker inquired,

clearly distracted by my previous choice of

words.

“It’s like what Paisley said, a permanent

time out.” I share.

“So you made Mommy a prisner,” Riley

summarizes, “for something she didn’ do.’

“Yes.” I concede. “That’s right. I made her

and I’ll never

more.”

affection for me evaporating,

blame them. If someone did

mother what I did to Jane,

upside down. A little

I’m losing them. I think forlornly, I only just got them, and I’m already

it’s your own fault. A

my head, after all, if you hadn’t

wouldn’t be able to hold it

was young and stupid. I argue

the blurry black

of youthful indiscretions,

complexities of growth and redemption. To them I’m

find out?” I ask

suddenly

both out all day.

us.” Parker admits, looking at

if I’ve just

I growl. To my horror, Riley,

and Ryder actually

thought I

now,” I caution, softening

((

sorry. I was

murmurs, looking as though the sky is falling

for the other man. “People aren’t angels or demons. Good people do bad things sometimes, and

which are you?” Ryder

at me.

a good man who was tricked into doing something

tell you is that I’m not the same

understand.

They don’t.

Riley demands, “you weren’t you

change as time passes. You’ll see when you get older, sometimes you can change so much over the years that you don’t even recognize the person you used to be, and having children is one of

understand.”

saying

explains in

I chuckle humorlessly, “I

just… I would never treat

but I can’t change the fact that I did

})

before,

Parker

think I’m not anymore, but that’s not for me to decide. It’s

the bad thing once, he could do it

trouble’ gain. Was dis

I’m doing everything I can to help

mother.” I insist.

what’d you think?” Parker asks.

dunno.” She whimpers, “I love Daddy,

‘I love Mommy.”

Mommy.” Riley reminds her,

})

say a word, Riley, Parker and Ryder put their heads together, murmuring to

low voices, I catch the tail

think we should

is much nicer

agrees.

was right, Mommy’s

don’ want her to be scared. I think

we should leave.”

pulling away and looking curiously

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