#Chapter 83 – Ethan’s Confession

How did it come to this? I think morosely. How did everything go so wrong so quickly?

I’d like to think I’ve been shielding the pups from the truth about what happened between Jane and I all those years ago for their own safety and peace of mind, but if I’m honest, I think I’ve been protecting myself. I know how horribly I messed up with Jane, and as badly as it hurt to see my former mate looking at me with that expression of utter betrayal, seeing it on the faces of my innocent pups is worse. When I left the house this morning I was their hero,

now I’m their villain.

“Why don’t you come sit down.” I suggest to the pups, hoping they’ll agree. How am I ever going to explain this to them? They’re too young to even understand a fraction of it.

Despite my tormented thoughts, they obey. One by one they toddle into the living room,

settling on the sofa while I take a seat on the edge of the coffee table in front of them. I search their young faces for any hint of

openness, but they all seem completely

closed off.

“Listen.” I begin, not even knowing where I’m going with this. “I made a lot of

mistakes in the past, and I did a lot of things

I’m not proud of, but I love you and I love

your Mommy more than anything.”

The quadruplets exchange meaningful glances, “what does that mean?” Ryder

questions.

“It means that it’s true. Eve tricked me into

believing something terrible about Mommy,

and… I punished her.” I confess, “I put her

on house arrest.”

“But how could you b’lieve Eve?” Riley

demands, clearly affronted on her mother’s

behalf.

“Because I didn’t know how evil she was

then.” I explain, “I don’t have any other

excuse. I was a fool – I let her make a fool of

me, and believing her is the biggest regret of

my life, second only to how I treated your Mommy afterwards.”

“Wha’s house arrest?” Parker inquired,

clearly distracted by my previous choice of

words.

“It’s like what Paisley said, a permanent

time out.” I share.

“So you made Mommy a prisner,” Riley

summarizes, “for something she didn’ do.’

“Yes.” I concede. “That’s right. I made her

I’ll never regret anything

more.”

affection for

I don’t blame them. If someone

did to Jane, I’d probably

have flipped upside down. A little while ago

long time, and now I’m awash with shame, guilt, and despair. I’m losing them. I think forlornly, I only just got them, and I’m

own fault. A little voice

after all, if you

cruel to Jane they wouldn’t be

stupid. I argue

understand the blurry

shades of youthful indiscretions,

the complexities of growth and redemption. To them I’m the

you find out?” I ask

why this suddenly came

and I were both out

told us.” Parker admits, looking

I’ve just kicked a

To

Ryder actually flinch away from

I felt ashamed before, it’s nothing compared to how

now,” I caution, softening my tone,

((

was just surprised.”

Paisley murmurs, looking as though the

for the other man. “People aren’t angels

are you?”

over at me.

who was tricked into doing something terrible, but I don’t know if

is that I’m not the same man I was then.” I proclaim,

understand.

They don’t.

that possible?” Riley demands, “you weren’t you then?”

through my hair, “but people change as time passes. You’ll see when you get older, sometimes you can change so much over the years that

don’ understand.”

saying he has two

in a stage whisper.

chuckle humorlessly, “I don’t have

I just… I

can’t change the fact that I

})

bad before,

now?” Parker

not anymore, but that’s not for me to decide. It’s for

thing once, he could do it ‘gain.” Ryder contributes, gazing

“Mommy’s already in trouble’ gain. Was dis your

I’m doing everything I can to help your

mother.” I insist.

what’d you think?”

dunno.” She whimpers, “I

‘I love Mommy.”

Daddy hurt Mommy.” Riley reminds her, “He locked

})

and Ryder put their heads together, murmuring to each other under their breath. Cocking

voices, I catch the tail

their conversation. “I think we should leave.”

is much nicer to

agrees.

Mommy’s scared.” Parker

her to be scared. I think

we should leave.”

away and looking curiously towards

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