Jane

The last few days have passed in a dizzying haze. I’ve slept through much of our journey, and though Ethan has remained by my side in my waking hours, I do have to wonder what he, Eric and Linda have been planning while I- rest. Today we’ve finally reached a midway port to resupply for the rest of the trip, and when Ethan wakes me with the news that I can finally get off this boat, I can’t move fast enough.

When I emerge from his luxury cabin and feel the blaze of the unforgiving tropical sun for the first time, I can only think of my babies. Would the traffickers give them sunscreen? Would they have enough water? The worry consumes me so quickly and powerfully my knees go weak.

It’s almost too tempting to return to the drug induced haze I’ve floated in the past few days, but I know that isn’t right.

It’s a selfish inclination, to save myself having to feel these things, when my pups don’t have any such luxury.

I tell Ethan as much as he helps me off the boat. I don’t want any more medications when we board again.

Ethan.”

His strong arms are around me, guiding me forward down the gangway. “Sweetheart you’ll be sick as a dog without them.”

Then let me be sick” I state simply, “I shouldn’t get to avoid suffering when everyone else around me is stuck with their pain… when the pups didn’t have that privilege.”

“Jane” Ethan sighs, dragging his hand through his hair.

You dying of dehydration isn’t going to save anyone any suffering- especially not the pups.”

“It doesn’t feel right.” l insist. “I want…”

“You want what? To hurt?” Ethan guesses, hitting the nail square on the head.

“Yes,” I confess, my throat thick with emotion. “I want to hurt, because I know they’re hurting too. I want to hurt… because l deserve it.”

to the next. The fact is I can’t even come to terms with the abrupt shifts myself. One moment l’m begging him to take away my

too hot for our bodies to be pressed together this way, but his solid strength grounds me like nothing else. “You don’t deserve

don’t deserve any

my mouth to argue, but he stops me before I can reject his comfort. “You’ve trusted me this far, Jane. So please trust me now. I wouldn’t lie

was incredibly disgruntled at the time, l’m grateful that Ethan didn’t give into me the other night. The memories are still fuzzy, but I know l admitted more than l’m comfortable with, and I hate to

wasn’t wrong, I feel safer with him knowing he didn’t take advantage of my altered state, and it makes it easier to believe him now. The more time that passes, the more I see how badly I misjudged Ethan. Still, I have a hard time accepting

I bite my tongue, leaning into him as

island is governed by NightFang allies, but Aimon is bound to have a few spies running around. So you, Linda and I need to find disguises, and Eric is going to sail on a different ship to avoid

by solid ground. I don’t find any relief from the sour churning in my belly, and belatedly I recall that it can take some time to regain one’s land legs”. “How long will we stop?” l inquire, wondering whether it’s better to give myself time to recover, when I have to get back on a damned

long enough to get the disguises.” Ethan announces, seeming to read my mind. “The sooner we reach the Southern

along on his advance trip. It might have been easier for her to accept his refusal if he hadn’t claimed her

to the dock on our left. As if they’d been reading my mind, Eric and Linda are standing there nose

“Did you claim me just

Eric insisted. “I

to introduce me to your

introducing you, because I don’t want them to kill you in your

going to leave me behind so someone

one is going to murder you, as

one your family wants dead more than anyone – he’s the reason this is all

their argument, l’m more concerned with the impact my friend’s words might have on Ethan. Looking up at him, I

He grumbles. “That’s why I wanted you to stay

my stomach rise in my throat. “Not only because of the pups, but because you

arches a brow, petting my sides when he sees

“Goddess, I think l’m going to be sick again.”I lunge for

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