Jane

The last few days have passed in a dizzying haze. I’ve slept through much of our journey, and though Ethan has remained by my side in my waking hours, I do have to wonder what he, Eric and Linda have been planning while I- rest. Today we’ve finally reached a midway port to resupply for the rest of the trip, and when Ethan wakes me with the news that I can finally get off this boat, I can’t move fast enough.

When I emerge from his luxury cabin and feel the blaze of the unforgiving tropical sun for the first time, I can only think of my babies. Would the traffickers give them sunscreen? Would they have enough water? The worry consumes me so quickly and powerfully my knees go weak.

It’s almost too tempting to return to the drug induced haze I’ve floated in the past few days, but I know that isn’t right.

It’s a selfish inclination, to save myself having to feel these things, when my pups don’t have any such luxury.

I tell Ethan as much as he helps me off the boat. I don’t want any more medications when we board again.

Ethan.”

His strong arms are around me, guiding me forward down the gangway. “Sweetheart you’ll be sick as a dog without them.”

Then let me be sick” I state simply, “I shouldn’t get to avoid suffering when everyone else around me is stuck with their pain… when the pups didn’t have that privilege.”

“Jane” Ethan sighs, dragging his hand through his hair.

You dying of dehydration isn’t going to save anyone any suffering- especially not the pups.”

“It doesn’t feel right.” l insist. “I want…”

“You want what? To hurt?” Ethan guesses, hitting the nail square on the head.

“Yes,” I confess, my throat thick with emotion. “I want to hurt, because I know they’re hurting too. I want to hurt… because l deserve it.”

come to terms with the abrupt shifts myself. One moment l’m begging him to take away my pain by making love to me, and the next l’m wishing for nothing more than the freedom to wallow in my misery

in the middle of the ship’s boarding ramp, gathering me to his chest. It’s much too hot for our bodies to be pressed together this way, but his solid strength

don’t deserve

my mouth to argue, but he stops me before I can reject his comfort. “You’ve trusted me this far, Jane. So please trust me now. I wouldn’t

any reasons to doubt him. Though I was incredibly disgruntled at the time, l’m grateful that Ethan didn’t give into me the other night. The memories are still fuzzy, but I know l admitted more than l’m comfortable

take advantage of my altered state, and it makes it easier to believe him now. The more time that passes, the more I see how badly I misjudged Ethan. Still, I have a hard time accepting that he’s telling me these things because they’re true, rather than because he doesn’t want me

tongue, leaning into him as we continue off the ship.

few spies running around. So you, Linda and I need to find disguises, and Eric

I expect to feel my stomach instantly settle. After all, we’re no longer swaying two and fro on the water. However l’m disappointed by solid ground. I don’t find any relief from the sour churning in my belly, and belatedly I recall that it can take some time to regain one’s land legs”.

read my mind. “The sooner we

without her.”‘ I muse. From what I remember of my brief visits with my friend, she’d been working hard to convince the Prince to take her along on his advance trip. It might have been easier for her to accept his refusal if he hadn’t claimed her during their long lovemaking sessions on the ship, but it seems that once he opened his blind eyes and finally saw the woman who’d been standing in front of him all along – he hadn’t been able to resist. Now they were almost as good

our left. As if they’d been reading my mind, Eric and Linda are standing there nose to nose, arguing about the

loudly, “Did you claim me just so you

course not!” Eric insisted. “I claimed you because

to introduce me

are lunatics!” Eric shouts, I’m not introducing you, because I don’t want them to kill you in your

so someone else can murder

you, as

he’s the reason this is all

am to continue eavesdropping on their argument, l’m more concerned with the impact my friend’s words might have on Ethan. Looking

know. He grumbles. “That’s why I wanted you

murmur, clenching my eyes shut as I feel my stomach rise in my throat. “Not only because of the pups, but because you need

me?” Ethan arches a brow, petting my sides when he sees

me an excuse to change the subject. “Goddess, I think l’m going to be sick again.”I lunge for the nearest trash receptacle, and Ethan holds my hair back and

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