Jane

The last few days have passed in a dizzying haze. I’ve slept through much of our journey, and though Ethan has remained by my side in my waking hours, I do have to wonder what he, Eric and Linda have been planning while I- rest. Today we’ve finally reached a midway port to resupply for the rest of the trip, and when Ethan wakes me with the news that I can finally get off this boat, I can’t move fast enough.

When I emerge from his luxury cabin and feel the blaze of the unforgiving tropical sun for the first time, I can only think of my babies. Would the traffickers give them sunscreen? Would they have enough water? The worry consumes me so quickly and powerfully my knees go weak.

It’s almost too tempting to return to the drug induced haze I’ve floated in the past few days, but I know that isn’t right.

It’s a selfish inclination, to save myself having to feel these things, when my pups don’t have any such luxury.

I tell Ethan as much as he helps me off the boat. I don’t want any more medications when we board again.

Ethan.”

His strong arms are around me, guiding me forward down the gangway. “Sweetheart you’ll be sick as a dog without them.”

Then let me be sick” I state simply, “I shouldn’t get to avoid suffering when everyone else around me is stuck with their pain… when the pups didn’t have that privilege.”

“Jane” Ethan sighs, dragging his hand through his hair.

You dying of dehydration isn’t going to save anyone any suffering- especially not the pups.”

“It doesn’t feel right.” l insist. “I want…”

“You want what? To hurt?” Ethan guesses, hitting the nail square on the head.

“Yes,” I confess, my throat thick with emotion. “I want to hurt, because I know they’re hurting too. I want to hurt… because l deserve it.”

shifts myself. One moment l’m begging him to take away my pain by making love to me, and the next l’m wishing for nothing more than the freedom

us right in the middle of the ship’s boarding ramp, gathering me to his chest. It’s much too hot for our bodies to be pressed together this way, but his solid strength grounds me like nothing else.

murmurs. “You don’t

I can reject his comfort. “You’ve trusted me this far, Jane. So please trust me now. I wouldn’t lie to you – not

grateful that Ethan didn’t give into me the other night. The memories are still fuzzy,

believe him now. The more time that passes, the more I see how badly I misjudged Ethan. Still, I have a hard time accepting

I bite my tongue, leaning into him as we continue off the ship. “So what happens

around. So you, Linda and I need to find disguises, and

and belatedly I recall that it can take some time to regain one’s land legs”. “How long will we stop?” l inquire, wondering whether it’s better to give

long enough to get the disguises.” Ethan announces, seeming to read my

advance trip. It might have been easier for her to accept his refusal if he hadn’t claimed her during their long lovemaking

my ear, nodding to the dock on our left. As if they’d been reading my mind, Eric and Linda

me the truth!” Linda demands loudly, “Did you claim

Eric insisted. “I claimed you

just apparently not enough to introduce me to your

lunatics!” Eric shouts, I’m not introducing you, because I don’t

you’re just going to leave me behind so someone else can

is going to murder you, as long as you

family wants dead more than anyone – he’s the reason this is all happening, how

words might

He grumbles. “That’s why I wanted you to stay

come.” I murmur, clenching my eyes shut as I feel my stomach rise in my throat. “Not only because of the pups, but because you need someone to watch your

worried about me?” Ethan arches a brow, petting my sides

that my traitorous stomach is giving me an excuse to change the subject. “Goddess, I think l’m going to be sick again.”I lunge

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