Jane

I can’t lose them. I can’t.

When was the last time I held them? K!ssed them?

What were the last words I said to them? Do they know how close l am? Do they know how hard I’m trying to rescue them? I would give anything to have them safely home. I would gladly trade my own life for theirs, though I hope it won’t come to that. The pain comes and goes in waves, which is something of a blessing.

Just when it becomes so overwhelming that I think it will crush me completely, it ebbs away, replaced with a yawning emptiness that leaves me hollow but not miserable.

We took action immediately when we learned about the pups new destination, but I fear it Won’t be enough. We left Sophie and her brother with Thomas and Mary, and jumped in the car, only stopping for petrol. My eyes are so sore from searching the road and surrounding forests, but that’s about to be the least of my problems.

“I think l’m going to be sick” I choke, looking around the car. We’re speeding down the King’s Highway, desperately trying to catch up with the theatre troupe. The vehicle is veering around the twists and turns of the mountain roads, and for once I have no fears that my unsettled stomach might be caused by a pregnancy – I know this is good old motion sickness.

Ethan immediately applies the brakes, as if he intends to pull over. I grip the handhold over my head with a white-knuckled fist. “No- don’t stop! l just need a bag or something.”

Jane –

“Don’t stop!” I repeat stubbornly.

“Here” Linda produces a plastic bag, dumping out the water bottles and snacks we purchased at our last fuel stop. It’s just in the knick of time. Thankfully my hair is up, and I reach into the bag, emptying the contents of my stomach and grimacing at the unpleasant sight and smell of my own sick. I m0an pitifully when it’s over, sipping some water to take the sour taste out of my mouth. There’s nothing left for my body to expel, but stomach acid and bile- but l still feel terrible.

“Poor baby? Ethan strokes my hair, but doesn’t take his eyes off the road. “Are you sure you don’t want me to slow down? These roads aren’t going to get any less windy for a while.”

“No, don’t slow down.” l insist. I have to get to my pups. I kills me that we came so close to finding them, only to have them snatched away at the last moment. I can tell Ethan is worried about me pushing myself too hard, and is clearly grappling for a way to prioritize me and finding the pups at the same time. I suppose that’s why he didn’t want me to come. But l had to -I would have gone crazy if l’d stayed behind. Besides, the pups are going to need me when we find them. They’re probably so frightened. I can almost see them now, huddled in trunks, not knowing what’s happening.

run out of air? Is there enough oxygen in those trunks? I whimper aloud

urge, trying to keep my voice

we’ll risk a crash Ethan

beg. “You can’t make this better by coddling me” Suddenly I remember Ethan’s habit of pulling over cars for lectures, and l’m afraid he might

our speed hasn’t been able to solve or hurry up resolving our emergencies, now it might cost

the pups was beside themself and

there somewhere at this very moment, probably feeling exactly the same way and l’m not there to comfort them! Don’t you understand

burning in my eyes now. They could be overheating

think not being able to make me feel better is as upsetting for him as not being able to comfort the pups is for me. I suddenly feel very guilty for making things harder on him. How am l supposed to cope with such a thing? If I feel badly I hurt my mate, but I can’t help feeling badly. Ethan changes tactics before I can come up with an answer, “You have to keep your head, Janey. If you

is another mile of distance between us. How much more time can pass before

“Every moment

Ethan agrees. “Just keep telling yourself

the side of the road. At first I think he might be making a pit stop to use the restroom, but he doesn’t step out of the car.

brow. “Do you think

day are they performing for the king?” I inquire,

have the details, just the destination.” She

stop and we don’t – we’ll pass them by. But if we stop and they

at least.”

me, l’d stop.” Linda reasons. “Unless the performance is first

it

her phone, typing as quickly as she can. “It’s not for three days.” She finally

breathe a

we stop?” Linda

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