The Luna and her Quadruplet Pups by Jane Above Story

Chapter 164

Jane

Come on munchkins, we’re going on an adventure!” I announce, get your coats.

The pups look at me suspiciously. What kinda venture?” Riley asks.

Their first therapy session had helped more than I expected. I don’t know everything they talked about with the doctor, but I expect having another adult reassuring them that they were loved and safe helped set them at ease. They still aren’t really talking to me, but they’re not fighting me as hard as they were before either.

The hardest part is still when they wake in the middle of the night crying out in fear, then asking for Ethan when I go to comfort them. It’s the worst with Paisley. She’s never lived without her father before, and I’m trying to keep a special eye on her. She asks for him more than any of the others, and it seems most difficult for her to believe we can’t simply call him and ask for a visit. The more time that passes the angrier I become with Ethan for leaving our babies. It’s one thing to hurt me, but another entirely to hurt them. I’ve decided to distract them anyway

I can, to try and make them feel like our family is whole without Ethan – not that this is an easy feat.

“A Christmas adventure.” I answer, coming back to the present. We were away for so long we’re very behind on decorating and baking, and doing all the fun holiday things!”

What fun holiday things?” Paisley asks, looking curious now.

Well, for one thing – every year we go to this beautiful christmas tree farm, then we go on sleigh rides and pick out a tree and cut it down ourselves. And every night there’s a bonfire with hot cocoa and smores…” I lower my voice to a whisper. “Sometimes Santa even turns up.”

Santa?! ” She exclaims, looking to her siblings for confirmation. Unfortunately they’re not beside her anymore, because the moment I mentioned the tree farm they went racing for their coats.

I confirm, offering her a big smile. “It’s

into the holiday spirit, playing Christmas carols and singing badly until they join in. Before long the car is a cacophony of wrong lyrics and tone deaf voices, and I feel better than I have since returning home. This Christmas will certainly be bittersweet, but the more we get out and do things like

into the deep

maybe it’s as simple as finally seeing my children all together at this special time of year, but I feel myself near tears as I watch my littlest chasing after her brothers and sisters. She’s not as fast given her heart and lack of practice trudging through snow, but she’s every bit as excited, and her giggling

I needed to see that everything we went through was worth it, that there’s hope we can be happy again sometime in the future. I still feel raw and fragile to my core, and I know that the months ahead are going to be incredibly difficult, but as long as I remember to cherish these little moments,

head-on with the sleighs, thankfully wrangled by the drivers before they can try and clamber onto the horses. They spend a while greeting and cuddling the huge Clydesdales pulling the sleighs, asking the drivers what the horses’ names are and feeding them carrots before bundling into the old-fashioned vehicles. There are bells on the horse’s tack, so as we set out through the snow jingling chimes fill the air, and

me, shivering in her little

la*p, “you’re not

She says thoughtfully, Snuggling closer. “Is fun to play in, it just gets cold after a

do at Christmas, hmm?” It’s dangerous to bring up Ethan, especially with Paisley, but I

I used to bake, and Daddy always took me to meet Santa at the mall.” She answers thoughtfully.

her, leaning my cheek against the top of her head. Is there anything you want to do this year to celebrate? I don’t

up at me

four pups are looking at me hopefully, and now I feel

hasn’ he called?” Riley asks, “doesn’ he wanna

sure if I’m telling the truth or a lie. “But he must

for me.” Paisley insists, And

you for the

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