Ethan

Christmas carols fill the air as I watch Riley, Ryder, Paisley and Parker zoom around the skating rink, giggling and laughing as they play tag and stage races. Fairy lights and boughs of holly have been strewn around the edges of the rink, and the scent of apples and cinnamon waft through the falling snow from a nearby hot cider booth.

My first afternoon back with the pups is the best day I’ve had since they were kidnapped – and certainly since I was paralyzed. It’s true that I’m heartbroken over Jane, but being with my children again at long last is pure joy. Ice skating has always been Paisley’s favorite Christmas pastime, but I’ve never seen her share the experience with anyone but me. It’s magical to see her playing with the others, so carefree. In the old days I had to hold her hand the whole time, she was never healthy enough to get rambunctious on the ice. Now she has no problem keeping up, and I couldn’t be prouder.

That said, every few minutes she comes racing over to the sidelines to beg me to come onto the ice with her. She doesn’t understand why I’m not out there with her like I always have been in the past.

Unfortunately my mechanized braces are great for pretending to walk, but there’s no way they can handle ice skating – the movement is too smooth, and the balance too precarious.

“Daddy please!””Paisley begs, giving me huge puppy dog eyes. “We came all this way to sees you and you’re not even skating!

“Daddy’s still recovering from his surgery.” I lie.

You remember how careful you have to be when you’re healing.”

But how much longer is it gonna take? She inquires. “I wanna play with you.”

I want to play with you too, angel. And I will- I’m just not up to skating.” I sigh. Besides you don’t need me anymore, you have your brothers and sister.”

Is not the same.” Paisley frowns. I never had to worry ’bout falling before. You were always there to catch me! What if I falls?”

“Sweetheart, you’re healthy enough to fall now.

whole life holding Daddy’s hand. You have to branch out on your own take risks.

them stay here it can’t just be for Jane, I have to take the opportunity to get my pups used to the idea of living without me. I have to teach her these lessons while I still have the chance. After talking with Matthew

to be okay after I’m gone. In hindsight, I should have done this from the beginning, but I didn’t have the

be buying my story. “Daddy what are you talking about?” She demands. “I don’ wanna grow ups

I confess. “None of us ever want to grow up. But

narrows her eyes. “Daddy, you’re being

chuckle. “I know,

continues. “Is somefing going

own good. That’s Jane’s doing- her genes were clearly stronger than mine when it

answer her without giving up the game. Then, right on queue, Riley, Parker and Ryder skid

a long moment, but eventually she turns to her sister. “Wha’s a skating chain?” She

go even if other peoples are coming towards you!”

to stay together as longs as possible!”

Paisley agrees excitedly, forgetting

watching me with a drawn expression. She hasn’t spoken a word to me since we fought this morning, and her eyes are still red from crying. She’s trailed behind the

sit next to her, pulling my mouth into a hard line. “They know something is up.

a rest, Ethan.” She answers, glaring at me. “I’m trying, alright? I’m trying to

together if you stopped hovering over me this

could. I think bitterly. It’s one thing to keep up my horrible act to ensure she’ll hate me, but it’s another entirely to walk away from her when she’s so raw and fragile. Part of me wants to

for her. She’s in this state because of me. Even if I do get better, I need to let her go. She deserves to find a better mate than me, I just have to make sure she’s not so broken that she

make them more suspicious if there’s too much

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