Jane

My heart sinks when I hear Paisley’s question, and I realize that Ethan was right about telling them together – not only for the sake of setting a good example for them, but because I didn’t anticipate this particular question. It will be easier to break the bad news with him beside me, so that all the blame doesn’t fall on my shoulders this time.

It breaks my heart that they’re still asking this, though it’s not surprising. They might be growing up fast, but they’re still so little. It’s going to take a very long time and lots of repetition for them to understand – as much as any child can understand being separated from their parents.

“No sweetheart.” Ethan murmurs gently. “In the new year you’re going to go home with your Mommy, just like we planned.”

I watch their faces as they absorb this news, hating inflicting pain on them but knowing there’s no other way around it. Riley, Ryder and Parker drop their gazes to their laps, hiding their disappointment from us. Paisley, on the other hand, is staring at Ethan with utter determination.

She stands up, slow and deliberate, her young face very serious as she turns her attention to me. “I wanna stay with Daddy.” She says firmly. “I wanna go back to the way things were afore.”

I feel my knees begin to buckle, and catch myself on the back of the couch. Ive forgotten how to breathe, and even as the room begins spinning I’m fighting to controI my expression, not to show her how deeply her words cut me. That hurt. That really hurt. Ethan’s strong hands catch me just above the elbows, and he eases me down onto the couch, “Easy now.” He murmurs, “Are you okay?”

I nod, choking back my emotions. The room is still spinning, and I’m afraid I’m going to be sick. “

Mommy, wha’s wrong!” The pups gather around me anxiously, their faces scrunched up in concern. I try to draw in a few breaths of air, but it isn’t easy at all. I clench my eyes shut against the room whirling around me in a sickening blur, trying to gauge whether or not I’m going to be sick and whether I’m steady enough to reach a restroom if that is the case.

I’d been afraid that the pups would never stop asking for Ethan- that I’d never be enough for them again – but the reality is worse. Paisley doesn’t want me at all. And what if Ethan says yes?

Is it truly in her best interest to stay with me, or is that my own selfish desire to have my daughter near?

she cuddles close to

takes a lot of energy.” Ethan explains, “It makes

me

Paisley, we talked about this.” Ethan answers in an incredibly gentle voice. Wait, he knew? She’s already requested this?He knew and

you again, remember?” I prompt, wanting to reach for her

sliding down her cheeks. “But I

I want, but my life is in the Dark Moon pack, and Daddy’s is

softly. Paisley is glaring at him now, her lips quivering as if she wants to make an outburst

has allowed them to accept this change. I have a feeling it’s only temporary, and also suspicious that they’re still plotting things, but right now I’m not going to question this. “We haves

Mommy’s going

more

her sister’s finger, and when she looks back at us, I realize she’s not angry with me. She’s angry with Ethan for not letting her stay. I’m beginning to wonder if she knows that he’s the reason none of us can stay. Before this trip she was equally upset with me, but now she throws another furious

free hand to stroke her cheek, dropping k!sses to her hair. “There now, no more arguing.” I croon. “It’s still Christmas, and there

them to the person assigned to each gift. Paisley stays tucked under my arm, and her familiar weight against my side relieves some of my dizziness, I continue cuddling her,

angry at me? At her?

covered in too many bows to have been wrapped by anyone but a four-year-old, He turns back with a smile, looking completely unbothered. He accepts the present, playfully shaking the box and earning himself a

each of which bears one of the pup’s names. Ethan pulls out the first one, lifting the Riley jar to his nose and blinking in astonishment. “Goddess, it smells exactly like

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