The Luna and her Quadruplet Pups by Jane Above Story

Chapter 188

Jane

As I consider Devon’s question, I’m inundated with memories of Eric. Unlike Devon, I’d always known Eric wanted to be more than just friends, and I’d considered dating him more than once. I thought he would be a safe partner because he’d never be able to hurt me the way Ethan did, and though I later learned the basis of our friendship was I lie, ultimately I’d been right. I was angry about his betrayal and angry at myself for trusting him, but it didn’t break my heart.

I don’t want to give Ethan the power to influence my decisions for the rest of my life, but it’s hard not feel of r0mance after everything I’ve been through with him. I hate to say it Devon, but I don’t think I see r0mance in my future at all. With anyone.” I finally reply, feeling ashamed of my own cowardice, yet also completely trapped by it.

“Oh Jane, don’t say that.” Devon replies, sounding truly pained by the idea. Though I don’t think his pain is for his own dashed hopes, but to hear me speaking so cynically. “You’re breaking my heart here. You’re only twenty-five, you’ve still got your whole life ahead of you. Don’t let Ethan take away your future happiness on top of everything else he’s done.

“I don’t want to.” I hiccup, heaving in a shaky breath. But I can’t help it. The idea of being close to anyone that way again terrifies me. And I have my pups to think about. I’ve seen what happens when they get attached to someone and then that person goes away.”

Devon is shaking his head, his own eyes shining. “I could kill Ethan for what he’s done to you. I feel like I’m looking at a shadow of the girl I knew.”

“I am a shadow.” I confess, wrapping my arms around myself. “I feel like my heart has been completely hollowed out, only I know that can’t be, because if it were really empty then I wouldn’t hurt so much.

Devon shakes his head and pulls me into a hug, and I’m amazed at how familiar his arms feel. I let myself lean into his warmth, taking the comfort he’s selflessly offering. I’m surprised to discover that I do feel safe with him, not because I believe I couldn’t feel strongly enough for him to be hurt like I did with Eric, but because I’ve known him almost my whole life. I knew who he was before he went away, and though he’s undoubtedly changed on his journey, he still feels like my Devon.

I don’t know if I can ever love anyone other than Ethan.”I say, speaking into the curve of his neck.

But I’m willing to try. You’ll have to be patient with me though. I’m not good at letting people get close to me.

Devon chuckles. “I’m proud that you’re brave enough to try again, Janey. But I don’t think you’re going to be ready for anything like that for quite some time.

but you asked,”

replies, because you wanted to know my intentions. Now I’ll tell you right now that, when you are ready, I’ll be here waiting. But I

ago. I don’t want to be one of those women who continuously falls for bad men, and when I was young I probably mistook strength for safety. Now I know better. So do I try to change, do I take a chance on someone

middle as tightly as I can. He squeezes me back, and I make a terrifying decision. “Will you do something

“Anything.” He agrees easily.

I mean, I don’t want you to pressure me, but don’t let me forget it either. Don’t just let me off the hook by saying I’m not ready.

want to be

can hear

I get home after my coffee with Devon, I find Ethan waiting with an eager

did it

I admit, crossing my arms over my chest and shooting him a glare. “Apparently when

and I think I might be hallucinating, because it almost looked like pleasure. However when he speaks, his voice is cold and biting, and I know I must have imagined it. “He

right to know he left because of

would have asked him to return, and I

leave for a

if Devon was being kinder to

would let him stay knowing he would be drooling all over my

backwards, unsure

despicable things even before he showed his true nature to me. “He was your best friend! He was loyal to you and the

really loyal to me, he wouldn’t have ever

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