Jane

My dreams are deep and hazy. When I wake, I can’t remember any of them. They slip through my fingers like water, and I’m left wondering how I fell asleep in the first place. The last thing I remember, I called Ethan to tell him Paisley was missing.

Paisley! I j3rk up, rising to a sitting position on the rest stop couch where I’ve apparently been napping. I frantically look around the room, searching for my pups, but especially my youngest. When I don’t see them, I push myself to my feet, stumbling out into the brisk daylight. As soon as I walk outside, I see Devon and Ethan standing over a puppy pile. Parker, Riley, and Ryder are on the ground, curled up around their sister – giggling and wrestling.

As soon as I see Paisley, I’m crying. Why do I feel like I’ve been crying a lot today? I don’t even remember most of the morning.

“Paisley!” I exclaim, rushing to join the pile. I drop to my knees in front of them, untangling Paisley from her siblings and dragging her into my arms, before welcoming the others to join us.

“Mommy!” The sweet pup cries, wrapping her plump arms around my neck. I rock back and forth, weeping into her neck and k!ssing every inch of skin I can reach. Only once she’s been thoroughly smothered, do I offer my other babies the same affection, squeezing them all so tightly they begin to complain. “You scared me half to death!” I tell Paisley, ignoring Parker and Riley’s attempts to wriggle free from our hug ball.

“I’m sorry, Mommy.” She professes, tears swimming in her beautiful eyes. “I didn’ wanna scare you. I just wanted Daddy so bad.”

“I know, angel.” I murmur, hating to know how badly she’s hurting. “I know you’re having a hard time right now. I am too, but you can’t run away from me. You can’t put yourself in danger that way.”

“Jane.” I look up to see Ethan looking down at us, a pained grimace on his face. “We need to talk.”

Oh Goddess, not another scolding. He was helpful earlier when I called him, and he clearly found Paisley like he promised, but now she’s safe I’m almost certain I’ve got an earful coming my way.

I’m not ready to hear what a terrible mother I am again, I don’t need to be reminded.

“Do we have to?” I inquire softly, still cuddling my babies.

“Yes.” He answers gently, glancing at Devon.”

Devon can watch the pups in the meantime.”

around

no way in hell I’m letting them go after everything that’s happened today. In fact, I don’t

or socialization? I’ll keep my pups safe at home until they’re grown. They’ll never be without my protection again, and even after

keeping his voice low and even as he interrupts my thoughts. “No one is ever going to run away, ever again

all nod their heads in agreement, staring up

know.” I argue, still clutching them. “Can’t

wolf won’t let me budge, Ethan gently overpowers me, pulling the

on Mama bear, it’ll

spot where my children remain with Devon, unable to calm my inner animal. The sun is setting at their backs, and I realize how much time has passed since I realized Paisley was gone this morning. I must have

goes very still, “Which

unable to make any sense of this.

called to tell me about Paisley, you had

brains for any memory of this.

me softly. “You thought we were back in the city when the traffickers first took the pups. You didn’t know

my brain to process these facts. My thoughts immediately jump to Riley, Ryder and Parker. “But

scene we must have made – me having a mental breakdown in

I have to explain!”

Jane. And Devon was

you through it but eventually he called me and I convinced you to take a sleeping

over my mouth. I can’t believe I fell to pieces that way – at a time when my daughter was missing and my other pups needed me to be strong, I was a blubbering

supporting me before I can collapse. “How has it come to this?” I gasp, “This isn’t me! I’m not this weak woman who falls to pieces at the first

to bear scars from your traumas

me I’m not fit to be a mother and I need to blame myself for everything that’s gone wrong lately? Has he

being nice to me?” I inquire, narrowing my eyes at

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