Jane

Watching Ethan drive away with Paisley just about destroyed me. When she answered my question, informing us all that she did indeed want to stay with her father, I tried to hide how badly it hurt me. I think I did an admirable job covering my emotions, until of course Parker, Ryder and Riley threw a collective fit. We’d only just gotten them calmed down when Ethan announced it was time to go, and then Paisley was sobbing and clinging to me and the other pups. It seems that however certain she felt about her decision, actually saying goodbye was another matter entirely.

Finally Ethan scooped her up and carried her away, apparently deciding that if he waited until we were all done crying – they would never be able to leave. So I watched my youngest, precious daughter disappear into the distance, until Ethan’s car finally passed over the horizon and vanished from sight. Getting my remaining pups back into the car to complete our own journey had been easy after that, and their dramatic protests had drained energy so well that they quickly fell asleep.

“What do I do now?” I ask Devon, glancing into the back seat of the car to ensure the other pups are still out cold.

“You put one foot in front of the other.” He answers, reaching over to squeeze my hand. “And you keep doing that until you no longer have to think about it. One day soon you’ll be running at top speed, and this will all be a bad memory.”

“I did that once before” I remind him. “But in my experience bad memories don’t always stay in the past.”

“That’s true.” He acknowledges, glancing at me meaningfully, at the small hand still cradled in his.

“But things that were negative at one time of your life can be positive in another. And if you live in constant fear of your past then you’ll always be a slave to it. You don’t want to live that way, Jane.

And you don’t want that for your pups either.”

“Can I ask you something?” I press, my curiosity about the years we spent apart growing.

“Of course.” He agrees easily.

when you left the Nightfang pack?” I inquire, trying to picture what it had been like for him. Granted, I left too, but I’d never been able to move on because of Paisley. I

old life, or move on from you?” Devon clarifies, watching me out of the corner of his eye while he

too guilty. I

enough time passed and I found enough happiness in my new pack that I stopped missing my old life. I think I’ll always be nostalgic for the nightfang pack, but I left when I was so young that I didn’t really figure out who I was until later. You on the other hand… I’m not sure I ever actually got

saying about not being a slave to your past?” I question, the corner of my mouth twitching

advice, doesn’t mean it’s

dragging my fingers through my

from Paisley, but can I ever get over Ethan? Can I ever truly move on, or am I doomed to pine for him for the rest of my life? Is he the last man I’ll ever love, the last man who will ever touch me? Is the r0mantic part of my life already over – before I’ve even

once was, the teenager who fell in love with a man well above her station and somehow found the bravery to marry him. She would be ashamed of me for thinking this way, for letting a man steal her strength and break her spirit. I think of my daughters too, of the example I want to set

too long, I’ve let Ethan twist and contort me into someone

at me, a look of

to stay that way. Nothing lasts forever. You have

he not only understands what I

the front door, immediately letting Mr. Fluff out of his travel carrier and giving him a tour of his new home. That’s one detail that

to be back here, in this place that’s filled with so many memories of their young lives. It still doesn’t feel right without Paisley, but as long as my children are happy, I can make our lives here as full and bright as they were before Ethan came along and ruined everything again. I deposit a huge pile of mail

letter opener, I slice it open and extract the papers within, expecting some dull notifications about policy changes or account maintenance. Instead, my jaw

my god.” I exclaim,

inquires coming to

fifteen years left on the payment plan.” It’s true that I

more important to me to have money in the bank in case of emergencies, than

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