The Luna and her Quadruplet Pups by Jane Above Story

Jane

Watching Ethan drive away with Paisley just about destroyed me. When she answered my question, informing us all that she did indeed want to stay with her father, I tried to hide how badly it hurt me. I think I did an admirable job covering my emotions, until of course Parker, Ryder and Riley threw a collective fit. We’d only just gotten them calmed down when Ethan announced it was time to go, and then Paisley was sobbing and clinging to me and the other pups. It seems that however certain she felt about her decision, actually saying goodbye was another matter entirely.

Finally Ethan scooped her up and carried her away, apparently deciding that if he waited until we were all done crying – they would never be able to leave. So I watched my youngest, precious daughter disappear into the distance, until Ethan’s car finally passed over the horizon and vanished from sight. Getting my remaining pups back into the car to complete our own journey had been easy after that, and their dramatic protests had drained energy so well that they quickly fell asleep.

“What do I do now?” I ask Devon, glancing into the back seat of the car to ensure the other pups are still out cold.

“You put one foot in front of the other.” He answers, reaching over to squeeze my hand. “And you keep doing that until you no longer have to think about it. One day soon you’ll be running at top speed, and this will all be a bad memory.”

“I did that once before” I remind him. “But in my experience bad memories don’t always stay in the past.”

“That’s true.” He acknowledges, glancing at me meaningfully, at the small hand still cradled in his.

“But things that were negative at one time of your life can be positive in another. And if you live in constant fear of your past then you’ll always be a slave to it. You don’t want to live that way, Jane.

And you don’t want that for your pups either.”

“Can I ask you something?” I press, my curiosity about the years we spent apart growing.

“Of course.” He agrees easily.

trying to picture what it had been like for him. Granted, I left too, but I’d never been able to move on because of Paisley. I left a piece of my heart behind, and now… well now I’m doing

you?” Devon clarifies, watching me out of the corner of

to feel too guilty. I still can’t believe

stopped missing my old life. I think I’ll

saying about not being a slave to your past?” I question, the corner of

can’t take my own advice, doesn’t mean it’s not

dragging my

the further north we travel. Dead grass and barren trees are gradually replaced by snow banks and evergreens, and I wonder if I’m doomed to be like Devon. I can leave the NightFang pack behind, I can come to terms with being away from Paisley, but can I ever get over Ethan? Can I ever truly move on, or am I doomed to pine for him for the rest of

would be ashamed of me for thinking this way, for letting a man steal her strength and break her spirit. I think of my daughters too, of the example I want to set for them not as a woman who falls down and

ruled by my past.” I tell Devon, still staring thoughtfully out the windows. “I’ve been letting my pain control me for too long, I’ve let Ethan twist and contort me into someone I don’t recognize.. and I’m not going to do

know.” Devon smiles over at me, a look of pride filling his eyes. “I’ve been waiting

they’re going to stay that way. Nothing lasts forever. You have to work for the life you want, every single day. And I don’t know how to do

I mean, but

run upstairs, and I’m struck by how different this is from the last time we returned from the Nightfang pack. Now instead of tantrums and tears, my children are thrilled to see our familiar apartment. They tear through the front door, immediately letting Mr. Fluff out of his travel carrier and giving him a tour of his new home. That’s one detail that slipped my

here, in this place that’s filled with so many memories of their young lives. It still doesn’t feel right without Paisley, but as long as my children are happy, I can make our lives here as full and bright as they were before Ethan came along and ruined everything again. I deposit a huge pile of mail on the table recalling the exasperated look our doorman gave me when we entered the building. He’d shoved the stack into my

and extract the papers within, expecting some dull notifications about policy changes or account maintenance. Instead, my jaw

my god.” I exclaim,

wrong?” Devon inquires coming

the documents. “It has to be a mistake, I had fifteen years left on the payment plan.” It’s true that I could have paid it off early, if I wanted to drain my personal

take such a risk. It was more important to me to have money in the bank in case of