Jane

Watching Ethan drive away with Paisley just about destroyed me. When she answered my question, informing us all that she did indeed want to stay with her father, I tried to hide how badly it hurt me. I think I did an admirable job covering my emotions, until of course Parker, Ryder and Riley threw a collective fit. We’d only just gotten them calmed down when Ethan announced it was time to go, and then Paisley was sobbing and clinging to me and the other pups. It seems that however certain she felt about her decision, actually saying goodbye was another matter entirely.

Finally Ethan scooped her up and carried her away, apparently deciding that if he waited until we were all done crying – they would never be able to leave. So I watched my youngest, precious daughter disappear into the distance, until Ethan’s car finally passed over the horizon and vanished from sight. Getting my remaining pups back into the car to complete our own journey had been easy after that, and their dramatic protests had drained energy so well that they quickly fell asleep.

“What do I do now?” I ask Devon, glancing into the back seat of the car to ensure the other pups are still out cold.

“You put one foot in front of the other.” He answers, reaching over to squeeze my hand. “And you keep doing that until you no longer have to think about it. One day soon you’ll be running at top speed, and this will all be a bad memory.”

“I did that once before” I remind him. “But in my experience bad memories don’t always stay in the past.”

“That’s true.” He acknowledges, glancing at me meaningfully, at the small hand still cradled in his.

“But things that were negative at one time of your life can be positive in another. And if you live in constant fear of your past then you’ll always be a slave to it. You don’t want to live that way, Jane.

And you don’t want that for your pups either.”

“Can I ask you something?” I press, my curiosity about the years we spent apart growing.

“Of course.” He agrees easily.

Nightfang pack?” I inquire, trying to picture what it had been like for him. Granted, I left too, but I’d never been able to move on because of Paisley. I left a piece of

move on from you?” Devon clarifies, watching me out of the corner of his eye while he navigates the winding

I still

my new pack that I stopped missing my old life. I think I’ll always be

about not being a slave to your past?” I question, the

I can’t take my own advice, doesn’t mean it’s not

enough.” I laugh, dragging my fingers through

then, the wintery landscape speeding by the windows growing cold and more bleak the further north we travel. Dead grass and barren trees are gradually replaced by snow banks and evergreens, and I wonder if I’m doomed to be like Devon. I can leave the NightFang pack behind, I can come to terms with being away from Paisley, but can I

station and somehow found the bravery to marry him. She would be ashamed of me for thinking this way, for letting a man steal her strength and break her spirit. I think of my daughters too, of the example I want to set for them not as a woman who falls

I’ve let Ethan twist

me, a look of pride filling

for a while – it doesn’t mean they’re going to stay that way. Nothing lasts forever. You have to work for the life you want, every single day. And I don’t know how to

nods, as if he not only understands what I mean, but feels it too. “Then I’ll

out of his travel carrier and giving him a tour of

and bright as they were before Ethan came along and ruined everything again. I deposit a huge pile of mail on the table recalling the exasperated look our doorman

some dull notifications about policy

god.” I

wrong?” Devon inquires coming to my

“It has to be a mistake, I had fifteen years left on the payment plan.”

never felt secure enough to take such a risk. It was more important to me to have money in the bank in case of emergencies, than

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