Ethan

“Daddy!” Paisley’s sweet voice whispers in my ear, as one of her sharp little fingers jabs my side. “Daddy, are you awakes?”

My eyes are still closed, and it feels as though I just fell asleep a moment ago. I’m not sure what time it is, but I know something must be up if Paisley is trying to wake me. Normally she climbs right into bed with me and snuggles up without a word, perfectly content to snooze until I’m ready to get up – even if her tummy is growling with hunger, she’ll happily choose cuddles over food.

“Daddy,” she whispers again, giving me another prod.

“No.” I moan, throwing an arm over my eyes dramatically. “I’m asleep.”

“Daddy!” Paisley giggles, the sweet sound lifting my sleepy spirits. “I’m serious.”

“So am I” I grumble, pulling the covers up over my head to hide from the adorable creature.

A moment later the duvet is yanked back down, and Paisley is sitting on my chest, determined to interrupt my rest. “Daddy I needs to talk to you.”

Begrudgingly I peek one eye open, assessing the serious pup and the low light filtering in through the windows. The sun must barely be rising, but my daughter’s beautiful green eyes are completely alert.

What’s wrong princess?” I ask, encouraging her to lie down agáin. She happily agrees, sprawling on my broad chest and resting her cheek against my shoulder.

“I’ve been thinking.” She says.

“Mhmm, about what?” I encourage, petting her tiny limbs.

fear that this isn’t actually true. “But just in case it isn’ I was thinking that you should go see Mommy and Ryder, Riley and

selfish, putting my needs above theirs. When I don’t respond,

trails off, unable to finish the grim sentence. Still, I know where she was headed. That way if I don’t survive, she’ll already be with Jane and her siblings

I know.” I confirm, stroking her dark hair. With her perspective in mind, I can’t think of any reason to say no. Paisley is giving me the perfect excuse to see my beloved family before I go under the

a bit more tightly. “We should

agrees, but Nina is another matter entirely. I tell her my decision over

down the piece of toast balanced between her perfectly

want my family’s last memory of me to be that day at the rest stop – when I took Paisley away. I want to make sure they know how much I love them,

tell Jane how much you love her. It will undo everything you’ve been working for these last few months.” Nina objects, shifting restlessly in

if I don’t make it, but I still need to see her one last time, even if I can’t tell her how I feel. And I

the worst

I have a fifty-fifty chance. I don’t want to leave this earth with things unfinished. I need my children to know I love them.

Nina concedes. “You’re right. But if you’re going to do this, then I’m coming

I sigh. “I’m not Sure how Jane or the pups would handle that, and

you went off to see your ex and

to make happen and that I’m going along with because I owe you for screwing

of us will be happy in, but we’re agreeing to for convenience and

may be times I want to be alone with them, and I’m

Nina smiles gently.

I’m determined for us to be a strong team. This trip can be a good thing for us, as

you’re right.” I allow, unable to push away the intrusive thoughts banging on the door to my consciousness. Thoughts about how calculating Nina is, how determined she seems to become Luna, and how little she seems to care for anything else. I know that isn’t entirely fair of me – there’s nothing inherently wrong with ambition and Nina explained why it was so important to her when we struck this deal. I just worry about how

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