Ethan

“Daddy!” Paisley’s sweet voice whispers in my ear, as one of her sharp little fingers jabs my side. “Daddy, are you awakes?”

My eyes are still closed, and it feels as though I just fell asleep a moment ago. I’m not sure what time it is, but I know something must be up if Paisley is trying to wake me. Normally she climbs right into bed with me and snuggles up without a word, perfectly content to snooze until I’m ready to get up – even if her tummy is growling with hunger, she’ll happily choose cuddles over food.

“Daddy,” she whispers again, giving me another prod.

“No.” I moan, throwing an arm over my eyes dramatically. “I’m asleep.”

“Daddy!” Paisley giggles, the sweet sound lifting my sleepy spirits. “I’m serious.”

“So am I” I grumble, pulling the covers up over my head to hide from the adorable creature.

A moment later the duvet is yanked back down, and Paisley is sitting on my chest, determined to interrupt my rest. “Daddy I needs to talk to you.”

Begrudgingly I peek one eye open, assessing the serious pup and the low light filtering in through the windows. The sun must barely be rising, but my daughter’s beautiful green eyes are completely alert.

What’s wrong princess?” I ask, encouraging her to lie down agáin. She happily agrees, sprawling on my broad chest and resting her cheek against my shoulder.

“I’ve been thinking.” She says.

“Mhmm, about what?” I encourage, petting her tiny limbs.

pauses, betraying her fear that this isn’t actually true. “But just in case it isn’ I was thinking that you should go see Mommy and

rose in my mind I forced it back down, telling myself I was being selfish, putting my needs above theirs. When I don’t respond, Paisley presses on. “You

survive, she’ll already be with Jane and her siblings when they get the news. Nina won’t have to bear the burden of taking my daughter

stroking her dark hair. With her perspective in mind, I can’t think of any reason to say no. Paisley is giving me the perfect excuse to see my beloved family

bit more tightly. “We

he heartily agrees, but Nina is another matter entirely. I tell her my decision over breakfast, waiting until Paisley left for

puts down the piece of toast balanced between her perfectly manicured

If I’m.. If I die on the operating table, I don’t want my family’s last memory of me to be that day at the rest stop – when I took Paisley

you can’t tell Jane how much you love her. It will undo everything you’ve been working for these last few months.” Nina objects, shifting restlessly

see her one last time, even if I can’t tell her how I feel. And I can tell the other pups.” I insist. “Besides, this way Paisley will be with Jane and her brothers and sister already. You won’t have to worry about taking her to the

almost sounds like you’re expecting the worst to

well-intentioned. “I”m just trying to be realistic, Nina. I have a fifty-fifty chance. I don’t want to leave

I’m sorry.” Nina concedes. “You’re right. But if you’re going to do this, then I’m

sure if that’sa good idea.” I sigh. “I’m not Sure how Jane or the

Nina argues, “and besides, how would it look if you went off to see your ex and left me behind.

and that I’m going along with because

us will be happy in, but we’re

I want to be alone with them, and

Nina smiles gently.

This trip can be a good thing for us,

allow, unable to push away the intrusive thoughts banging on the door to my consciousness. Thoughts about how calculating Nina is, how determined she seems to become Luna, and how little she seems to care for anything else. I know that isn’t entirely fair of me – there’s nothing inherently wrong with ambition and Nina explained why it was so important to her when we struck

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