Ethan

I blink my eyes open to bright white lights and the sterile scent of a hospital.

It takes a few moments for my senses to focus on the details around me. At first I see only my surgeon’s face hovering above me. Has the surgery not begun yet? I wonder dazedly. I could have sworn I’d already started counting backwards for the anesthesiologist.

But when my doctor speaks, there’s a smile in his voice. “Welcome back Ethan. Everything went perfectly. You’ve been asleep for a while, but your family is eager to see you.

My family, I muse, the wheels in my mind turning much too slowly. Does he mean Nina and Matthew? But even as I think these words, my wolf pipes up.

I smell Jane. I smell the pups! They’re here! He exclaims.

No, they can’t be. It’s not possible. I reply, groaning internally at the pain this simple fact causes me.

Jane’s scent washes over me, much too potent to be my wolf’s imagination. Gentle fingers stroke my cheek, and the next thing I know, her sweet voice is floating through my consciousness. “Open your eyes, Ethan.”

I hadn’t even realized that I closed them again. I’m hovering on the edge of sleep, barely able to tell dreams from reality. I shake my head stubbornly, determined to stay in the dream. “No.” The word is little more than a whisper, my lips slurring the hard consonant. “Wanna stay.. in dream.”

I feel soft, familiar lips graze my temple, and I want to cry for wanting Jane. “Okay, my love.

There’s no rush.”

She feels so real- sounds so real. My wolf is whining in my head, and I gradually lift my heavy eyelids, caving to his pressure. At once I see Jane’s stunning features hovering above me. Her face is blurred around the edges, like an out of focus photo, but I don’t care. She’s beaming down at me, her emerald eyes swimming with tears. “Hello mate

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so beautiful, and suddenly I’m afraid I imagined the doctor’s words. “Am I in heaven?” I murmur, trying to reach for her but realizing I can’t lift my hand. That fact alone tells me this isn’t entirely my imagination – if I had it my way she would already be in my arms.

“No, of course not.” Jane answers, caressing my jaw. “You’re just a little hazy from the drugs.”

possible?”

loving tone I’ve often heard her use when the pups are upset. “The surgery was a success. You’re going to be able to walk again – your wolf won’t

of my surgery jolts me into the present quicker than anything else. “You mean

you impossible man.” Jane replies,

no, no! Now that my mind is working, waves of violent emotion are slamming into me one after the other. This isn’t right. She can’t know. “No,” I manage to shake my head, my voice sounding strangled.

croons. She strokes my hair back from my crown, and something deep inside of me starts to crack. “We have a whole lifetime to fight

begin to decipher all the feelings warring inside of me, I only know I’m suddenly drowning beneath the onslaught. It’s a giant tangle of fury, anguish, guilt, fear, grief and the Goddess only knows what else. I jerk against the dead weight of my arms and legs, hating that I can’t move. I growl my frustration into the to0-bright

drugs.” Jane’s voice intimates, sounding

send his mate in.” The doctor

is already here! My wolf thunderS. I want to shout at the man for suggesting

to get the message. “Nevermind.” The doctor sighs,

looks a bit subdued, there’s still a stubborn tilt to her mouth that tells me she hasn’t given up. “You shouldn’t be

and kiss her at once. “You didn’t seem to like

my wolf.” I mumble drunkenly, “He’s not

Jane observes smoothly, a sharp edge entering her voice. “So you think it was reasonable to push me away for the sake of your own

a sob, wishing for the thousandth time that I

didn’t have

to my chest, as if she’s trying to hug me without actually jostling my body. Instead she lets me feel her warm curves pressing against my side, her slender limbs cradling whatever

bumps my hip, and I realize it’s the pup in her belly, kicking out to say hello. A few stray tears escape the corners of my eyes, “Why are

if anything she simply cuddles closer.

do!”I rumble in agony. “I’m no good for you. You deserve

me simply. “You’re always taking care of everyone else, Ethan – even when it kills you. Now it’s time

sound authoritative even though I’m still slurring like a

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