Chapter 0571

They're not lies.

Julian didn't say anything after that. Though, neither did I. I just gawked at him while he stared down at his bloody mary.

I wanted to ask him to go into more detail. If he could specifically tell me which of the things Bridget said weren't lies, I wouldn't be on such a downward spiral of thoughts. I wouldn't be trying so hard to bend over backwards to convince myself that Julian didn't actually have a crush on me somehow.

But, I supposed deep down, I already knew the truth. Not all that long ago, we had a similar talk on the beach as Julian threw rocks and shells into the ocean waves.

Yet here, in the quiet of the deck in this mid-morning, with Julian already halfway through a blood mary, everything felt a bit more dire, a bit more real.

This wasn't about getting over Bridget or trying to move on. Bridget had very little to do with this at all. This time, Julian's feelings were his own. And those feelings were all tangled up over me.

And now, because of that, I had to face my own true feelings as well. It would be unfair to Julian not to consider how I felt about him while he was being honest with how he felt about me.

Truthfully, even upon reflection, I didn't know how I felt about Julian. I cared about him, certainly. He was funny and loyal. He protected me and looked out for me in his own way. He was good with Elva, always trying to treat her sleight of hand and card tricks.

He was handsome too. Leaner than Nicholas, but with a similar features. Although Julian always leaned more toward the 'I got out of bed looking like this' vibe, where Nicholas was always crisply dressed and put together.

If I hadn't known Nicholas first, I could have easily been swept up in the whirlwind that was Prince Julian. He was certain to give his partner a life of adventure and joy and excitement.

But I had known Nicholas first. And I fell in love with Nicholas. My feelings for Nicholas were so strong, that I genuinely doubted if I would ever be able to give my heart to anyone else, even if Nicholas and I were to separate.

My heart would always be his. I wasn't sure I would even try to find another. How unfair would it be to be the love of someone else's life when they could never be anything but second best?

Julian was a great guy. Funny, charming, smart, great with kids. He deserved better than to live in the shadow of his older brother.

also a dear friend. One of my

want

feelings," Julian said. He spoke so softly, I didn't realize he was speaking at first. I had to strain to listen, though as he continued, his

feelings, especially with him being so brave to voice them. But

most observant of our group,

"I'm sorry," I said.

how you feel," Julian replied. "You can't control your

say so. I let the silence answer for

bloody mary. After a time, he said, "I would appreciate it if we could ignore everything that happened

what we are to each

course," I said, relieved. "You are a dear friend to

and though it was a touch shakier than usual, he seemed relieved as well.

this one didn't feel as heavy as the one before. It felt a bit as if, with the air cleared, things were

we both wanted to move forward and leave this behind us, so I brought up the other question

accused Bridget of knowing Prince Ronan," I said. "Was that

everything before I came to you, but maybe it's for the best you know what I suspect, just in case it is a viable

elbows on the railing, mimicking his posture, and looked over at

the past. It's shaky evidence at best. A few photos snapped from a paparazzi.

was evidence

her guilty of conspiring to send Ronan after you," Julian continued, "But it is damn suspicious. She's also stonewalling me.

sense his frustration,

was innocent, she sure as hell could help more. The only

Ronan was if she was actually in love with him and trying

seemed

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