Chapter 0571

They're not lies.

Julian didn't say anything after that. Though, neither did I. I just gawked at him while he stared down at his bloody mary.

I wanted to ask him to go into more detail. If he could specifically tell me which of the things Bridget said weren't lies, I wouldn't be on such a downward spiral of thoughts. I wouldn't be trying so hard to bend over backwards to convince myself that Julian didn't actually have a crush on me somehow.

But, I supposed deep down, I already knew the truth. Not all that long ago, we had a similar talk on the beach as Julian threw rocks and shells into the ocean waves.

Yet here, in the quiet of the deck in this mid-morning, with Julian already halfway through a blood mary, everything felt a bit more dire, a bit more real.

This wasn't about getting over Bridget or trying to move on. Bridget had very little to do with this at all. This time, Julian's feelings were his own. And those feelings were all tangled up over me.

And now, because of that, I had to face my own true feelings as well. It would be unfair to Julian not to consider how I felt about him while he was being honest with how he felt about me.

Truthfully, even upon reflection, I didn't know how I felt about Julian. I cared about him, certainly. He was funny and loyal. He protected me and looked out for me in his own way. He was good with Elva, always trying to treat her sleight of hand and card tricks.

He was handsome too. Leaner than Nicholas, but with a similar features. Although Julian always leaned more toward the 'I got out of bed looking like this' vibe, where Nicholas was always crisply dressed and put together.

If I hadn't known Nicholas first, I could have easily been swept up in the whirlwind that was Prince Julian. He was certain to give his partner a life of adventure and joy and excitement.

But I had known Nicholas first. And I fell in love with Nicholas. My feelings for Nicholas were so strong, that I genuinely doubted if I would ever be able to give my heart to anyone else, even if Nicholas and I were to separate.

My heart would always be his. I wasn't sure I would even try to find another. How unfair would it be to be the love of someone else's life when they could never be anything but second best?

Julian was a great guy. Funny, charming, smart, great with kids. He deserved better than to live in the shadow of his older brother.

a dear friend. One

didn't want

no defense for my feelings," Julian said. He spoke so softly, I didn't realize he was speaking at first. I had to strain to listen, though as he

brave to voice them. But to lead him on when my heart belongs to

Julian wasn't the most observant of our group, and he was, I wasn't exactly subtle with my feelings, especially in front of

"I'm sorry," I said.

"You can't control your feelings any

say so. I let the

more of his bloody mary. After a time, he said, "I would appreciate it if we could ignore everything that happened this morning and act as we always have before.

what we are to each

I said, relieved. "You are a dear friend to me. That

though it was a touch shakier

as the one before. It felt a bit as if, with the

both wanted to move forward and leave this behind us, so I brought

knowing Prince Ronan," I

he groaned. "Well, I'm glad I guess. I was hoping to uncover everything before I came to

with my elbows on the railing, mimicking his posture, and looked over at

that Bridget and Ronan might have dated in the past. It's shaky evidence at best. A few photos snapped from a paparazzi. But it at the

was evidence impossible

send Ronan after you," Julian continued, "But it is damn suspicious. She's also stonewalling me. If she wasn't guilty, wouldn't she want to help catch the person who tried to

his frustration, and I

sure as hell could help more. The only reason I could think of that she

with Prince Ronan was if she was actually

that seemed

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