The Luna’s Choice by Kat Silver

Chapter 1*6: Ayla
I got out of the bath and dried off. I slipped on some sweats that actually fit, thanking whoever brought them for me. It felt so good to be clean. Once in the hot water, I realized how dirty I felt. I spent extra time scrubbing my body, working to rid myself of everything that happened. I was a deep shade of pink by the time I emerged.
I had brushed my teeth and was sitting on the bed, brushing my hair, when there was a tap on the door..
“May I?” Ma asked, indicating the brush in my
hand.
Thesitated but slowly handed it to her. She sat behind me on the bed as I tucked my feet up in front of me. She gently began to run the brush through my tangled hair. It felt so familiar that my mind flashed back to when she used to do this when I was younger. Before Dad died.
I shook off the memory. I had enough to make me feel sad and angry without it.
“I know you think I act like nothing is wrong,” Ma finally spoke. “And. I do. But it’s not because I don’t know that things are wrong.” She sighed heavily. “It’s because I don’t know what else to do. I’m sorry never seemed good enough. I didn’t know how to face the shame. I… I’ ve never been strong like you.”
“I know,” I said flatly. “I know you tried, Ma. It was always a shi**y try, but you tried. At least when you were sober.”
“Which wasn’t often,” Ma said regretfully.
“It’s an addiction, Ma,” I said.
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Chapter 1*5: Ayla
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“That you tried to help me with so many times,” she replied.

“Yes, I did,” I said. “I wasn’t trying to make it sound like it was all okay, Ma. These are things you need to remember. To consider going forward. Whatever you tried in the past didn’t work. It’s time to try something else.”
“Are
you saying we can come home with you?” she asked.
“No,” I said instinctually.
I winced, not realizing that’s how I felt until then and knowing it was time to address it. I turned around on the bed to face my mother. I grabbed her hands.
”
“No, Ma,” I restated. “You’re not ready to be with me yet.”
“You mean you’re not ready to forgive me.”
“No,” I insisted. “I mean you’re not ready. I always forgive you, Ma. I’ll forgive you again eventually. But I’m done being treated the way I have been. I’m done being disregarded and used. I won’t put up with it again. You’re not ready to not be that person yet. You need to figure out how to change that. I can’t do that for you.”
She tried not to fall apart. Holding back tears. She sniffed, taking a deep breath.
“Okay,” she said with the most determination I’d seen in her in years. “What do you want me to do?”
“You’re going to rehab, Ma,” I said gently. “You’ve already made it through the hardest part. But you’ve only detoxed. You’re not fixed. That’s going to take a long time. And I need you to start with a rehab program. I’ll talk to Alpha Harden. We can set you up with one here in the Blue Fang Pack. Get clean. Like actually clean. No more drinking.
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Chapter 156. Ayla
No more gambling. Go to therapy. Get on your feet. Then maybe we’ll talk about you coming home.”
“I can do that, Ayla,” she insisted. “I promise I can do that.”
“And I will hold you to that,” I said,
She was quiet for a few minutes, just rubbing my hands that still held hers.
“Ayla,” she said softly, “can I… will…”
She struggled to get the words out, but I could tell it was something important. I squeezed her hand. She swallowed and took another deep breath.
“When he was…” she said. “When I thought… All I could think was that I wouldn’t get to hold my baby girl again. I know I’m broken, and I know I’m a terrible parent. But I still feel like your mother. I love you like a mother. So, can I hold my baby? Just for a little while?”
I scooted in, resting my head on her shoulder as I snaked my arms. around her waist. She held me to her, rubbing my back as she rocked us back and forth. She sniffled and I knew she was crying.
“You know I’m so grateful I had you, sweet girl.” It was something you said to me growing up. “I’m so proud of you.”
“I know, Mama,” I replied.