Chapter 51: Ayla

I froze when my hand touched the cold metal door handle.

What the f*ck was I doing?

I had blocked Theo from me in my anger, but he was still coming through to me. I could feel his turmoil and confusion. I could feel his pain. Pain that I caused. And for what? Because he wouldn’t kill someone for me? Because he wouldn‘ t let me kill him?

What kind of monster was I?

A million questions and accusations ran through my mind as my knees gave way, and I sunk to the hardwood floor.

What the hell was wrong with me?

Theo was right. This wasn’t me. Throughout our entire fight, M knew what he was saying made sense. I knew we needed to keep him alive to get information. But my rage was so

consuming that I didn’t care. I hated Lloyd so much I felt like I was on fire.

I couldn’t pinpoint what cleared my mind from that haze, but something had. Now, I just felt remorse and pain and fear. I was scared of how I just acted. I felt Theo next to me. I was scared of the damage I just did.

I don’t know how long it took for me to finally calm down. Theo just held me like he always did. Whenever I came close to composure, I thought about how amazing he was and another wave would hit me. When I finally felt like it had all

passed, my body ached from crying and my face was thoroughly covered in tears and snot.

“I’m sorry, Theo,” I said once more as I released my hold on him. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I shouldn’t have tried to leave. I shouldn’t have been mad at you. I don’t know what came over me.”

Theo sighed, brushing my hair back and wiping my cheeks with his thumbs. “You’ve been overwhelmed, baby. You’ve had a rough day. I think it’s just time to call it and go to bed. And tomorrow, your life will be about the normal things, okay? School, work, friends, all those good things.”

little painful to admit I couldn’t handle it all, but I wouldn’t let my pride risk this happening again.

and we crawled into bed together. I was exhausted but I couldn’t

  1. me.

resting his forehead on my

“Ayla…”

“Yes,” I murmured.

threaten to command me again,” he replied, “please.”

as the

squeezed him tighter, and he did the

ever f*cking leave me,” he begged.

I

quiet for a while. I thought he had fallen asleep when he

be

looking up

agonizing. I will promise you that. He will get what he deserves. And when he does die, he will die

brought me a small sense of peace. I snuggled in close

***

have class until later, so Theo got up and made a big breakfast for us. The distance I had felt last night was gone and I felt a weight had been lifted off of me. We were nearly finished with our meal when there was a knock on our door. I looked

from the table to

to follow, hanging back a little as he opened

Chapter 51; Ayla

them

Ayla,” Kingston said kindly.

looks of it, his temper had also gotten the better of him a time or two. There were various smatterings of blood on his clothes and his knuckles were bruised and split. Kingston followed my gaze and realized the

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