The Mating Run by Leeka

Pain

Pain. It’s not a stranger to me.

I’ve danced with it, embraced it like an old friend. You see, I’ve never been one to tiptoe through life. As a kid, I was like a force of nature, a hurricane in sneakers, always running, always pushing the boundaries that my parents set. “No, Alina, don’t run!” they would say, but I ran anyway. I couldn’t be bothered by the cautious whispers of adulthood.

I was a boisterous kid, full of life and energy. My laughter echoed like a melody, a symphony of joy that filled the air. I ran because the world seemed too vast to walk through, and every step was a promise of adventure. I climbed trees, scraped my knees, and collected bruises like they were badges of honor. The pain was a companion, a reminder that I was alive, that I could feel.

My parents worried, of course. They saw me as this bundle of energy, a whirlwind of chaos that could collide with the sharp edges of reality at any moment. But I was invincible or so I thought. The world was my playground, and I was determined to explore every nook and cranny, consequences be damned.

I have scars on my knees and arms to prove it. Each scar tells a story, a tale of childhood recklessness and the resilience of youth. I can trace the lines with my fingertips, feel the uneven texture beneath my skin. They are like chapters in a book, a visual narrative of a time when pain was a constant companion, and I wore it proudly.

The thing about pain is that it’s versatile. It comes in different shapes and sizes, sometimes a fleeting sting, other times a persistent ache. As a kid, pain was a rite of passage, a confirmation that I was pushing against the boundaries of what was deemed safe.

I remember the first time I fell off my bike. It was a rusty old thing, with peeling paint and wobbly wheels. I insisted on riding it despite my parents‘ reservations. “You’ll hurt yourself,” they warned. But I was fearless, or at least, I pretended to be. The wind in my hair, the rush of speed beneath my wheels–it was intoxicating.

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Pain

Until it wasn’t.

I hit a pothole, and the world flipped upside down. The pain was immediate, a sharp jolt that reverberated through my body. I lay there, dazed and bruised, my once invincible spirit humbled by the asphalt beneath me. But even as tears welled up in my eyes, there was a strange exhilaration, a realization that pain was just a temporary visitor.

My parents rushed to my side, their worried faces a blur. “I told you to be careful,” my mom scolded, but her stern words couldn’t mask the concern in her eyes. I grinned through the tears, feeling the warmth of their embrace. Pain, you see, was a language we all spoke, a common ground that connected us in the shared experience of being human.

As the years rolled by, I grew out of my boisterous phase. The scars on my knees faded, the bruises became distant memories. I traded my running shoes for a more measured stride, navigating the world with a newfound awareness of its sharp edges. Adulthood brought its own set of challenges, and I learned that pain wasn’t always physical.

Heartbreaks, disappointments, the sting of failure–these were the new facets of pain that I discovered. They didn’t leave visible marks, but their impact was just as profound. The invincible girl who once laughed in the face of scraped knees now faced the complexities of a world that couldn’t be outrun.

Yet, in the midst of these grown–up pains, I found myself looking back at the reckless girl I used to be. The kid who thought she could conquer the world with scraped knees and a defiant grin.

I wondered if she had known what lay ahead, would she have run any slower?

Would she have chosen a more cautious path?

Pain. I thought I knew pain, understood its various shades and nuances. Scraped knees, bruised elbows, the sting of a broken heart–I’ve danced with these forms of pain before. They were familiar companions, teachers in the school of life.

But what happened with Victor, that was a different kind of pain.

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08:36 Sat, 9 Mar N

Until it wasn’t.

bruised, my once invincible spirit humbled by the

worried faces a blur. “I told you to be careful,” my mom scolded, but her stern words couldn’t mask the concern in her eyes. I grinned through the tears, feeling the warmth of their embrace. Pain, you see, was a language we all spoke, a common ground that connected us in the shared experience

distant memories. I traded my running shoes for a more measured stride, navigating the world with a newfound awareness of its sharp edges. Adulthood brought its own set

of failure–these were the new facets of pain that I discovered. They didn’t leave visible marks, but their impact was just as profound. The invincible girl who once laughed in the face of scraped knees now. faced the complexities of a world that couldn’t be outrun.

these grown–up pains, I found myself looking back at the reckless girl I used to be. The kid who thought she could conquer the world

known what lay ahead, would she have run any slower?

have chosen a more cautious path?

knees, bruised elbows, the sting of a broken heart–I’ve danced with these forms of pain before.

Victor, that was a

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Sat, 9 Mar

Pain

tore through my defenses, leaving me breathless

What did you do?!”

never asked to

He sank his teeth into the vulnerable skin of my neck, claiming me in

violation that left

“Shit!”

up and take it.”

It was so intense that it made me tear up, my vision blurred by the darkness creeping at the edges. If it weren’t for Victor holding me

from someone you trusted, someone you let into the intimate spaces of your life. Victor wasn’t a stranger; he was a familiar face, a presence that had become woven into

like a betrayal.

I never wanted this, never asked for his claim on me. But there I was, bearing the physical and emotional weight of an act that

I felt his teeth sink into my neck, a gasp escaped my lips, and I tried to push him away. But Victor’s grip was like a vise, unyielding and possessive. I felt his hot breath on my skin, heard the low growl that reverberated through the air. In that moment, I wasn’t Alina anymore;

dug into my flesh. It was a sharp, stabbing sensation, as if he was carving his ownership into the very

L

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my neck. It was a violation

my personal space. But the pain was overwhelming, a tidal wave that threatened to drown me. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the

the girl who ran with scraped knees, laughed in the face of adversity. But

“Fuck!”

his grip, and I staggered backward, clutching my throbbing neck. The tears blurred my vision, and I felt the weight of the darkness lifting. If it weren’t for the anger simmering within me,

no, no,”

in my throat, suffocated by the weight of the violation I had just experienced. I never wanted this, never wanted to be marked like some possession. And the fact that it came from someone I had let into my life, someone I considered a confidant, made it hurt all the more.

emotional scars that cut deeper. I felt dirty, tainted by an

put distance between us. The air felt heavy with the weight of what had just transpired. I could taste the bitterness

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Sat, 9 Mar

Pam

me with a

thought there would be a bond.