The Perfect Run

“Do you want to be my friend?”

The plushie’s words echoed in the corridor, while Ryan found himself trapped between two monsters. On one side was a ruthless abomination against nature, and on the other, Frank the Mad. Psyshock remained in the background, carefully waiting for an opportunity.

The plushie and Frank locked gazes, two apex predators recognizing each other. The tension grew palpable, the rabbit throwing Pale Guy’s scalp away while Frank adopted a krav maga fighting stance. Eldritch whispering voices echoed through the hallway, promising sweet destruction to all living creatures.

“Behind me, Mr. Vice-President,” the giant told Psyshock, warily gazing at the rabbit. “It’s an Afghan hare.”

A tense silence stretched for several, agonizing seconds. No one was brave enough to take the first step. The plushie’s ears turned towards the Psycho ever so threateningly, while Frank’s fingers fidgeted. Ryan held his breath, knowing the following seconds would decide the fate of the entire run.

And then…

And then it started. The rabbit leaped forward, knife-claws extended, while Frank let out a bestial roar and charged. David versus Goliath. Robot versus robot. Man versus rabbit.

Of this epic battle…

Of this epic battle, nothing would be said, for Ryan ran away.

Realizing he would die if caught in the crossfire, the courier stopped time for ten seconds. He ran towards Frank, slid on the ground between the giant’s leg, and then quickly got back up and fled towards the other end of the hallway.

“I love you so much!” he heard from behind him.

And the clock was still stopped.

Unfortunately, the moment time resumed, Psyshock whipped Ryan in the torso with his tentacle arm from the ceiling, having attached himself to it like a spider waiting for his prey.

Thanks to the Rampage drug, Ryan didn’t ‘feel’ the pain, but he heard one of his ribs break under the strain. The blow propelled him further down the hallway, brightened by flashes of crimson light. The bunker trembled, as Frank frantically hit the ground and walls in a fruitless attempt to catch the rabbit.

“It seems you are quite the glass cannon, Cesare,” Psyshock mused, leaping with his wires and attempting to pin the courier to the ground. “You can dodge a thousand times, but you can only stumble so often.”

Ryan managed to roll over to dodge the attack, quickly getting back on his feet and running away. Psyshock pursued him, with the two demons remaining behind to fight.

Ryan eventually exited the hallway to enter another underground chamber, with lamps embedded in black panels all over the walls; blood had recently been spilled on the ground, leaving spots on the metal. Seven vats full of colored liquids, one for each Elixir, were lined up on a nearby wall. Linked to strange-looking machines, three of the containers held mutated animals; Ryan struggled to see them fully through the liquid but identified some strange hybrid of a lizard and dog the size of a Doberman in the violet tube. The laboratory had two other blast doors, one opened, one closed.

Psyshock’s tentacles launched themselves at Ryan, who had finally recovered from his cooldown. The courier dodged with a leap to the side after a short two seconds time stop, the drug in his system helping him fight off the pain of the broken rib.

“That’s all you got?” Ryan taunted Psyshock, as both he and the Psycho faced one another. “Guess it’s easier with Japanese schoolgirls?”

“Classy,” the wire squid replied, launching one of his tentacles. This time, instead of dodging, Ryan grabbed it with his hands. With the strength boost from the Rampage drug, he rotated on himself and tossed Psyshock against a nearby wall. The Psycho managed to recover but quickly turned still.

Heavy steps echoed close from the open blast door, something huge moving into the underground lab.

“My, my,” a playful voice with a thick New York accent interrupted the battle, “what do we have here?”

black carbon alloy, he was already transformed when he showed up. The man was heavily mutated,

a mix of fiendish cunning and malignant narcissism. He briefly glanced at Psyshock, who instantly submitted

Bad Adam,” Ryan said dramatically, “we finally meet

we’ve got a new Mark Twain here,” the living balloon mocked him back.

worst kind of

one with a

above, chump,” Adam said, keeping his left hand behind his back and his right one exposed. “I’ve been looking at you through our cams for a while. Sorry not to have welcomed you myself, I was busy doing important

we got to know each other better, perhaps we can discuss your plan to conquer

“They’re always wired when they say

was worth a

Adam snapped his

said, clearly itching to attack Ryan, but wise

that the reason for all this fuss?” Big Fat Adam asked the courier, raising an eyebrow while explosions echoed through

an impulse thing, really,”

the case, when you invade my home and start killing all my men, I take that real personal,

I had fun. I guess I’ll just blow myself

survive your pretty belt.” Adam grinned, though his smile never

to the death then?” Ryan did some footwork and shadow boxing. “I’m pumped for

battle, kiddo. You see, you’re mistaken about something. The media call me Big Adam, because they don’t want to face what I am, but my real moniker...” He smiled, showing three rows of sharp teeth behind

revealed his left hand, and

older than fourteen within his fingers; probably some Rust Town denizen, clearly of Arab or Turkish descent. The prisoner had tears of terror

holding

his mouth and prepared to bite his captive’s

to unbalance him mentally. The courier had gone far enough anyway, and trying to rescue the teen would probably fail. He had everything to

Ryan couldn’t cross, even

Adam, punching the ogre’s hand

The fist broke.

Fisty and Ryan’s bones shattered on

alongside his ribs and spine breaking under the strain. The blow didn’t detonate the explosive belt but sent the courier flying against the blue

feel his legs anymore. He coughed blood, a warm fluid

his prisoner’s hair with his finger like a pet. “I knew you would do that when you stopped your rampage to save our testers. Psyshock, pick his brain open before he bites the dust. I want to know who sent the laddie

around Ryan’s neck and lifting

was fun while

his

“Jar Jar Binks!”

belt let out a beep, before blowing him and Psyshock up

ended

Renesco’s bar, the courier felt like someone commuting to his job the day after a massive bender. He had his fun, but now was time to get

into the Meta connection? He had the feeling it would come into play, even if he somehow managed to

was Augusti-exclusive. The courier had already progressed rather far on that path, and he wished to see how this party