The Perfect Run

It was May 12th, and Team Quicksave the Pandas had assembled.

As he drove towards Rust Town, Ryan hoped this battle would go better than Vulcan’s doomed assault against the Meta-Gang. The time-traveler had gathered everyone he could call upon, provided all the necessary intel, and he wore a cashmere suit. Everyone would soon move into position, Shortie included.

The die was cast.

Atom Cat remained silent at the car’s front seat, having outfitted his costume with a dart bandolier. Ryan thought knives were classic for a reason, but the idea of someone getting beaten by explosive darts amused him to no end. The and Wardrobe stayed at the back, the former whispering a song to himself, and the latter examining Ryan with her big, beautiful eyes.

“Yuki, I know you designed my new mask,” Ryan said, “but this is getting a little creepy.”

“You went on a date yesterday,” Wardrobe said with a smile. “I can feel it.”

Did she have a gossip radar or something? Then again, Ryan had returned to his penthouse suspiciously late into the night.

In the end, the ‘ten-minute visit’ lasted half an hour. Lucky Girl had incredible taste, both for interior decoration and her sculpture hobby, to the point the courier would introduce her to Wardrobe. He had the feeling they would get along fantastically well. However, while Ryan had enjoyed the ‘date,’ his master plan had utterly failed. Lucky Girl just sent him a message saying she would ‘allow’ him to invite her again.

“It was nothing serious, Yuki,” said the courier, “so I’m still open to new romantic applications.”

“Sorry, I really like you Ryan, but I’m already in an exclusive contract with someone else.“

“Really? Congratulations!” the time-traveler replied with a warm smile. “That’s wonderful!”

“Thanks, she’s super nice, you will love her,” Yuki said with a grin. “But we’re talking about your love life. Is she in Il Migliore? Is it Len?”

“I will leave you to your endless speculations, watching as you go down the rabbit ho—” Wardrobe’s costume instantly transformed into a cosplay of Sherlock Holmes, hat and pipe included. “Hey, that’s cheating!”

“Hm…” Wardrobe observed Ryan, making deductions in her mind. “If I had to make an elaborate guess… I would say Atom Cat’s sister Fortuna, and it didn’t go farther than a chaste kiss.”

Atom Cat emerged from his silent reverie to look at Ryan in disbelief. “What?” he asked.

“That’s awesome Yuki,” the congratulated Wardrobe. “How did you figure it out?”

“Elementary, my dear Panda!”

“You know Sherlock Holmes never said that in the Conan Doyle novels?” Ryan complained, but Wardrobe ignored him.

“We know she was pestering him for a date, and from his expression, he clearly considered it a chore before being pleasantly surprised,” Yuki explained, her mannerism mimicking Sherlock Holmes’ most famous movie adaptations. “Hence, he accepted out of a sense of obligation, perhaps hoping to subtly discourage her. His hairstyle is also well-groomed and his smell remains the same. Thus, we can assume the absence of physical intimacy.”

“I hate Yellow Genomes,” Ryan said, glowering while ignoring Atom Cat’s baleful glare. “I hate them so much. Also, why didn’t you use this costume before? You could have cracked the whole conspiracy in minutes!”

“I don’t like this costume,” Wardrobe replied, changing back to her normal clothes. “If I wear it for too long, I develop a craving for cocaine, tobacco, and violins. That’s not good for my health.”

“Ryan, I warned you,” Felix said, infuriated. “I asked you man to man, friend to friend.”

The courier looked into his second favorite cat's eyes, and decided to tease him some more. “I just want us to become family, Kitten,” the courier said softly. “Is that so much to ask?”

Instead of turning red as Ryan had hoped, Felix answered with a fiendish smile. “Ryan, your adoptive sister,” he spoke with the same teasing tone as the courier, “she’s single, isn’t she?”

When Felix struck back, he hit hard! “I see the kitten is young, but he has claws."

“I’m just saying, we could become a family, Quickie. But if you take, you have to give back too.”

“That’s great!” Wardrobe said, finding twisted joy in the scene. “You marry each other’s sister, and then your kids will have a teen romance! I can see the drama!”

Ryan looked back at the road. “You discovered my only weakness, Kitten. You are a troll worthy of respect.”

“Thank you, now drive,” Felix replied. “If the Meta don’t kick your ass today, I’ll do it myself afterward.”

“Oh, we’re going to Rust Town?” Wardrobe asked with a frown. “I had the feeling we would go there, but Enrique refused to tell us until we arrived.”

bag, we could check our intel,” Ryan said, Felix rolling his eyes.

phone, having recorded files

Cat read the report while showing Wardrobe and the a picture of Hannifat Lecter. “The USA issued an international arrest warrant after he was

getting his Elixirs?” Ryan asked. Every time

into a highly-resistant carbon alloy, granting him enhanced strength and tank-like resilience; additionally, his stomach has been turned into a pocket dimension where he can store almost anything.”

an armory dimension, right?” Wardrobe asked. “I really like his war god

“Frank the Mad, identity unknown. Suffers from schizophrenic delusions where he identifies as a WWII commando, Vietnam veteran, US secret service agent, and an Area 51 super-soldier experiment. However, his testimonies contradict real events, and he becomes aggressive if called out on the inconsistencies. Orange/Red, his body is made

“He can only consume metal? Not stone or

metal,” Felix replied, a little

power

rumors that Augustus’ body was in temporal stasis, which sounded plausible since he could act in the courier’s frozen time. However, then he shouldn’t age and a tumor wouldn’t threaten his life. As for the other possible colors, if Augustus was

courier remembered the end of his disastrous Augusti Run. Frank the Mad and Augustus had briefly traded blows, and the Psycho’s power had automatically reacted. It tried to absorb Lightning

one the Psycho couldn’t consume easily. This excluded the spatial stasis hypothesis. But

had the feeling he had all the pieces of

things. The group passed the Private Security checkpoint without trouble; either they were the first heroes on the scene, or a few patrols had been warned

plan called for Dynamis to surround the Meta-Gang from all sides, and knowing Psypsy, he

Cat said while checking the time. Rust Town was eerily silent as they drove, the air suffused with tension. Either Psyshock had already brainwashed the locals, or they could

through the skies like a missile, aiming straight for

gas station north of the area, vast swathes of concrete covered in oil stains. The place looked

Sarin.

the driver whistled as his car swerved to avoid Miss

pack of customized Dynamis dog drones broke through the buildings’ doors, having

team prepared for

young apprentice opened his door and jumped out of the car, having fully shapeshifted before he hit the road. His bestial form

had hit the Junkyard like a cruise missile, but he was only the vanguard. A swarm of helicopters flew above Rust Town from the west, led

Town, before turning into a full-blown quake. The weakest buildings collapsed under the strain, forcing Sarin to fly away from her current position. Acidic clouds spread across the skies, threatening

for Rust

abruptly stopped the car near the gas station. He and his remaining teammates quickly stepped out of it, the whole place smelling of gasoline. With a whistle

his coil gun and Desert Eagle out of his suit, wielding one in each hand, “who

to move at an impressive speed. She powered through a

causing the projectiles to violently detonate and throw her back against a crumbling building. Ryan opened fire on her, trying to open a few holes

from the heavens above, Ryan realized he

of dread went down his spine, as he pointed his coil gun behind him and pressed the trigger. Acid Rain had teleported behind him, knives in hands, but had to duck out of the way to dodge the courier’s own projectile. The coil gun’s

her weapons threateningly. “You

in the back when we meet,” Ryan taunted her, having grown almost accustomed to

carve you open, back and front!” Acid Rain snarled as she threw a knife at his head with deadly accuracy. While the courier dodged, Atom Cat attempted to

observation point and landed on the street, opening fire at Ryan and Atom Cat. The courier quickly stopped time, grabbed his Kitten, and moved them out of the way. Hazmat Girl’s blast hit the gas station and detonated whatever was left of the gasoline within in a fiery detonation. The blast tossed Ryan and Atom Cat onto their chests on the ground, while the and Wardrobe

behead her. Her hazmat suit collapsed while rusting gas escaped its confines, and shields of glass formed above the various heroes to protect them from the acid raindrops. This gave Ryan and

appeared next to Ryan, acid raindrops turning him visible.

warning as he sensed Acid Rain’s power

guns in hand. She unleashed a hail of gunfire at Shroud and his companions, the Carnival

unable to force their way through the

tossed the machine guns away and teleported away before any projectile could hit her. The more

light coming from the Junkyard. Frank the Mad came into view, now the size of a ten meters tall

Kaiju battle!

would have fanboyed, if his entire team’s life wasn’t on the line. A shiver went down his spine, as he sensed Acid Rain teleport all around them at blinding speed. In the blink of an eye, Shroud, Ryan, and Atom Cat found themselves surrounded by

Shit!

could explode. But ten seconds were far too few, and while he could spare Felix and himself the worst of the bombardment, two grenades exploded right next to Shroud. The detonation blew

and the heroes’ rainshields collapsed into dust. Ryan sensed acid raindrops eat at his cashmere

cooldown to appear right in front of Felix and stab him in the chest

thought he had grown numb to these things, Ryan panicked. “Felix!

with the drones, leaving the to manage them, and rushed at

hand. Thankfully, Yuki’s costume changed into

Ryan challenged Acid Rain, though she teleported out of his bullets’ path. “I’m leaving for the Purple World and stranding