The Perfect Run

With his Plymouth Fury out of commission, Ryan had expected to be transported in a Cadillac. Instead, he had to settle for the same black minivan which the Meta-Gang used to attack the orphanage in the past.

These Psychos had no taste at all!

“This is a disgrace,” Ryan complained at the back, Eugène-Henry on his lap. Sarin was driving at the front, while Mosquito sat on the second row of seats. “At least it’s a Chrysler!”

“Nobody can see us with the tinted windows,” Sarin grunted at the front, as she drove through New Rome’s streets. They had left Rust Town soon after dusk, and Ryan had taken the opportunity to memorize the name of the border guards they bribed to get out. “People raise the alarms when they see us out in the open.”

“Yeah, right, a black minivan doesn’t scream suspicious at all.”

“Half of us are too big to fit in a normal car, Boss,” Mosquito pointed out, having to lower his head to fit inside. “We have to transport Frank by truck.”

Ah, the logistics of superhumans. Ryan wondered how the Danish managed to deal with their giant serpent overlord Nidhogg. They probably had to redraw the maps after every transformation. “What’s your second power, Mosquito?” the president asked, as they traveled through the southern slums. “Besides the whole bugman thing.”

“I took the Hercules knockoff, the super-strength one.” Mosquito let out a sigh. “Didn’t work out well. I only get the superstrength after I’m filled with blood, and I weaken every minute afterward.”

“You took a second Green?” Ryan asked, squinting in skepticism. “Why? You didn’t want to go for the full rainbow?”

“Well, being a giant mosquito isn’t very glamorous, ya know Boss? I figured if I drank an Elixir of the same color as the first one, it would wash away the first power and replace it. It made sense to me.”

“You’re a dumbass,” Sarin said out loud what Ryan was thinking.

Mosquito bristled. “Yeah, but at least I’ve got a body.”

“Shut your mouth!” Sarin stopped looking at the road to raise her hand at Mosquito, as if to blast him. “I’ll tear your wisecracking head off!”

“Hey, everyone calm down, there’s a cat at the back!” Ryan said to defuse the situation. Mosquito and Sarin exchanged fingered gestures, but the Meta’s new vice-president focused back on the road. “Besides, you took two Elixirs too, Chernobyl. It’s the pot calling the kettle black.”

“That’s fucking different, asshole,” Sarin replied. “I took my Elixirs soon after Last Easter, back when nobody knew taking more than one was a terrible idea. While that bug knew exactly what he was getting into.”

Ryan blinked. “Wait, you’ve been like this for fifteen years?”

“Fourteen. I swear, if you find a cure, first thing I’ll do is to fuck someone’s brains out. Fourteen years of celibacy, man; fourteen years. I don’t get how priests do it.”

There was a sick joke to make here, but even Ryan had standards.

Mosquito had none though. “Well, they learn how to handle kids.”

Ignoring the bugman laughing at his own joke, Ryan meditated on this information. Sarin’s situation made him pause, but watching her join Adam in burning down New Rome lessened the sympathy he might have felt for her. As for Mosquito, he happily helped to abduct orphans to throw at the bunker’s defenses.

Yeah, these two had made bad calls. But instead of turning their life around, they kept making worse ones. If anything, the only mutant the courier felt pity for was Frank the Mad, who clearly suffered from a mental illness and needed psychiatric treatment. Maybe it was Ryan’s experience with Bloodstream talking, but the time-traveler had a hard time seeing Psychos as anything but monsters.

Eventually, Sarin reached their destination, and parked the minivan in front of Deadland Motel.

Livia and her escort were waiting in the parking lot. Unlike last time, where she had shown up with only Cancel and Mortimer, the Augusti princess had brought reinforcements. Sparrow, Night Terror… and Luigi the Hockey Victim.

Damn it, Ryan knew he had overlooked something!

“Howdy, legitimate gentlemen,” Ryan greeted the group, as he and his Psycho bodyguards emerged from their car. The president carried Eugène-Henry in his hands. “We come in peace!”

“Hi, I’m Cancel!” Only Greta raised a hand and waved it at the group with a fake smile. Ryan wondered what it would take to break her cheerful demeanor. “Nice to meet you!”

The others weren’t so enthusiastic though. Mortimer hid a gun beneath his cloak, Sparrow shielded Augustus’ daughter with her body, Night Terror stood still in eerie silence, and Luigi courageously stayed at the back.

As for Livia...

“So, you’re the new leader of the Meta-Gang?” Though she seemed confident and in control, Ryan noticed the slight unease at the edge of Livia’s gaze. While she could read notes left by her previous self, the presence of Psychos didn’t help make her feel safe. “Quicksave, is it?”

“President,” Ryan replied, carrying his cat in his hands. “Mr. President.”

“Who elected you?” Mortimer asked, curious.

“You don’t want to know,” Mosquito replied while shuddering. “They had... persuasive arguments.”

“Six against three,” Sarin taunted the Augusti. “You really fear us that much?”

“Considering you’ve been attacking our businesses lately, we expected a trap,” Sparrow replied, before checking an earplug hidden beneath her hair. “Miss Livia, it seems they indeed came alone.”

“I know the previous administration and yours didn’t get along well, but it’s all in the past now,” Ryan said. “We want peace between our two nations. We even brought a gift to show our goodwill.”

“A gift?” Greta’s smile turned genuine, having been informed ahead of time. “I love gifts. What kind of gift?”

“The old administration, of course!” Ryan said before snapping his fingers. Mosquito opened the black minivan’s chest, grabbed the content, and tossed it at Livia’s feet. “Packaged just for you.”

Psyshock wriggled on the ground, blissfully out of commission.

at the brainjacker’s limp body with contempt. Sparrow and Mortimer studied the Psycho with

Psyshock’s mouth. “I prefer it when they understand

this squid yesterday,” Ryan said. “You’ll need to negate his power first to make his death

she can negate powers?” Sarin

I am doing it right now,” Greta said with pride, which Ryan confirmed after a

raising her

trump mine,” Cancel said with disappointment. “Like the Boss. He can’t shoot lightning in my presence, but he’s

it,” Sparrow said ominously. “He would

to their color dimension, preventing access to this bottomless power source, but couldn’t affect physical

loop, which he got from a knockoff that didn’t draw upon the Red Dimension for fuel. Ryan tried to reconcile these two contradictions, until he realized the missing

other information Ryan had gathered, then Mob Zeus’ body probably mimicked the properties of a specific metal. A superior

Probably an Orange.

explain how Lightning Butt could move in the stopped

the metal itself

he was onto something. More worrying, since Ryan’s power relied on his connection to the Purple World, it meant Cancel’s power would probably kill permanently. His other

squid wakes up? I want to see the light go ou—” Mortimer drew a silenced pistol before Greta could finish her sentence, and shot Psypsy

he asked, smoke coming out of his weapon. “It’s teamwork. You soften the prey,

you always get the

sight of Psyshock’s corpse bleeding out on a parking lot didn’t fill him with joy. “VP, please call our staff to check if Psypsy’s victims

inside a private space,” she replied. “Luigi will be

that?” Ryan asked, disliking the man’s presence. “He might go mad from

laundry every day,” Luigi replied with a snort. “Nothing you say

well, he asked

same cozy suite where she welcomed Ryan in the previous loop. She invited them to sit around the table, with the cookies and coffee cups already set. “A drink?” she offered

leap onto the bed nearby. His host couldn’t suppress a

from you,” Livia said, glancing at Luigi. “And

try to lie,” the

long one?” the time-traveler asked, as he

a

Alright.

Time to rant!

of. Including beating you up, Luigi. Livia, you can make notes that carry through my time jumps, so everything you wrote down is true; this is the third loop where we meet and I really hated how you took away my control over all factors, but like cancer, I’ve learned to live with it. Also, you really remind me of a friend who suffered from a toxic family environment, so I want to help. I beat the shit out of the Meta-Gang last loop before they could kill everyone with an orbital laser, but your daddy waged war on the Carnival

But Psypsy managed to follow, which didn’t end well for him; I helped feed Big Fat Adam to a black alien whom I called Darkling, because it eats hope and happiness. Then I gave the Meta-Gang the democratic choice of voting for me or dying, I became President, and I love democracy so much I’m never relinquishing power until my death. The whole timeline is ruined so I decided to try new stuff like finding a cure for the Psycho condition, and also, you have the brain patterns of a friend trapped in your head, which I really want back, please. I

eternal life's best memories, and I love doing it. I love it so much I’ll keep doing it in every loop until the last one. Also, nothing you will do during this loop really matters since I’ll

his hands. “I

the time he had finished, Livia’s fingers fidgeted around her coffee cup, and her gaze lost itself in

at her

“Y-yes, ma’am?”

tone. “To make up for it, I will make

shock. “Like, what,

Livia said, her tone less friendly than before. “You leave

to go?”

to anyone else, even my father. If

but he could

leave the city by next sunrise, I will beat you up with a hockey stick,” Ryan blurted out while still under the power’s effect. “Oh wait, no, I’m president

out the window; the truth-teller was running down the motel’s stairs as fast as he could, much to his fellow

as time unfroze,

even with prior warning.” Livia glanced at Eugène-Henry, who had claimed the bedsheet as his own. “Why can I see him this time? My notes said I

but he lost his power,” Ryan replied with a shrug. “You’re

it,” Livia replied before wincing. “Sending him away now is the best choice. My power gave him one chance

was surprised. In his experience, it was usually the most common response to

to discuss.” Livia peered into Ryan’s eyes. “Since

Dynamis, and Livia probably recorded its existence

will you

content, and then I will destroy it in the final loop,” Ryan explained. “It’s an apple of discord. Every time it’s unearthed, it spells disaster for

sure what’s inside can’t be used for good in

technology inside can benefit humanity, and it will once I’ve filtered it out. But

admitted. “You want to

you could help me with

out why my father and I can use two powers with no side-effects,” she guessed, crossing her arms. “Dynamis already made a similar offer, but I refused to

use it

time to process everything, Ryan. It would be so much easier if I could remember directly, instead of catching up

needed. I’m trying to figure out how to solve that

she asked, and the time-traveler nodded in response. “Alright. I will need time to type down all the data,

you’re giving it to me?” Ryan

confusion. “Yes, why?

but I expected another fetch quest or

princess sounded a little offended by his skepticism. “Though I do not remember

would have tried to use that