The Perfect Run

It was said that the show must go on, no matter what.

“And so, Little Gorynych attempted to catch the wild princess,” Ryan continued his play, having a three-headed dragon plasticine figurine pursue that of a pink princess. After running out of video material to humiliate Dynamis with, the courier had started to improvise. “But she ran too fast for his tiny legs, and poor Gorynych had forgotten he could fly!”

Nobody paid attention to his Shakespearean play, except Frank, whom the groundbreaking plot captivated. Everyone else instead focused on the inactive nuclear device on the newsdesk.

“You should have taken a dog, boss,” Sarin said, glaring at Eugène-Henry. The cat knew he had sinned, so he tried to look cute to avoid punishment. Unfortunately for him, Hazmat Girl didn’t have any heart to soften. “I understand why the Chinese ate them.”

“Come on, I disarmed the countdown,” Ryan said, though he had to freeze time for it. He abandoned his play to scratch his cat’s ears and reassure him. “You’re sorry you scared them, huh? You didn’t want to kill them all, it was an accident…”

Tea cleared her throat. It was just a vocal effect, since as an android she didn’t need to breathe. “Ryan, I thi—”

“Mr. President,” Ryan corrected her. “You’re my friend, Doll, but we’re on TV right now.”

“Mr. President, while I love animals, I believe you are spoiling your cat rotten.”

“Gooood,” his master replied with a deep dark voice, before noticing Livia nervously approaching him. “Yes?”

His new sidekick began to whisper in his ear. “I’m seeing Wyvern attacking Mosquito, and an Il Migliore team besieging the building alongside the Private Security.”

“Is the Panda among them?” Ryan asked, suddenly worried.

“Who?” Livia asked, apparently never having taken notes on the mighty manbear.

“The Panda, the chosen one,” Ryan explained, loud enough for the hostage and TV viewers to hear. “The only Genome whose power trumps mine. Our long-awaited duel has been foretold by precogs.”

Livia giggled behind her helmet. “No, I don’t think so,” she whispered, only to turn serious. “But… Felix is among them, and a few of my alternate selves die from glass shards to the neck.”

Urgh, so the Carnival did intend to target them this time around. The courier learned enough about Dynamis to predict their movements, but he couldn’t say the same for Hargraves. Did the Carnival ally with the Manada brothers like in the previous timeline? Or did they remain free agents for now?

“We’ll make sure nothing happens to Felix,” Ryan whispered back too low for others to listen, before hamming it up. “With our combined power, Queen Crimson, we will rule all ofNew Rome!”

“Start ruling your stupid cat and then we’ll see about the city,” Sarin said, unimpressed.

“In any case, we’re returning home.”

“What about the hostages?” Tea asked, almost hopeful. “Do we take them with us?”

Ryan shrugged his shoulders. “I realized it was a bit redundant to keep a dozen people hostage, when we have a nuclear device to threaten the city with.”

“And I do not think we have enough space in the truck,” Livia pointed out the obvious.

“Aw,” the Doll said, lowering her weapon and allowing the hostages to breathe. “I was starting to like them.”

Tea had known them for half an hour, and she already developed Lima Syndrome? She was too soft for the job.

The group exited the Star Studios warehouse one minute afterward, with Sarin carrying the A-bomb and Frank the plasticine figurines. Ryan walked at the front, holding Eugène-Henry in his arms like a diabolical mastermind on a stroll.

No sooner did they pass the warehouse’s doors than a shockwave almost caused them to trip up. The courier raised his eyes, and watched Mosquito wrestling with a fully transformed Wyvern up in the skies. The courier remembered that they fought in an early loop, with the dragon lady squashing the Psycho like a bug.

But now that Mosquito had overfed, he more than held his own. The flying beefcake punched Wyvern so hard that it caused windows in the vicinity to crack; the blow sent the dragon tumbling backward, but she quickly corrected her descent. She retaliated with her breath, Mosquito fleeing out of the path at astonishing speed.

While the two titans duked it out in the skies, the group prepared to return to their truck, only to find it surrounded by a dozen Private Security members in black riot gear. Multiple laser rifles pointed at Ryan and his men, while one wise soldier targeted the president’s crotch. None of them opened fire though.

As Livia warned, they also had a few Genomes with them. Atom Kitty, who didn’t carry throwable weapons yet; Reload, that cheap knockoff, who at least had the decency of bringing a lightsaber; and Ryan’s favorite hero in the world.

“Hi, Wardrobe!” The courier warmly greeted his future rival. “We finally meet in the flesh!”

“Hi, nice to meet you too, Quicksave!” Wardrobe waved a hand at the group. This time she cosplayed as an FBI hostage negotiator, with a megaphone in hand. “I loved your stop motion play!”

raised. He looked like a cat ready to pounce on mice and eager to finally stretch his legs. Livia tensed at the sight of her

apologized before raising her megaphone.

outgunned!” Sarin replied while raising the A-bomb, Wyvern

Private Security members raised their rifles at Miss Gasshole, but none

scratching his cat behind the ears. Frank stood proudly behind his master, while the Doll pointed her rocket launcher at Reload. “You should know, of all

the authority of the necktie, the softness of the gloves, the savagery of

know this guy?” asked Reload, his hands tightening around

horror at the terrible truth.

the socks!” Felix snarled, pointing a finger at Ryan’s boots. “What

as the darkest abyss. “By creating this cashmere suit, you sowed the seeds of your own nemesis. A grim darkness born of

face, as her wish for a

nothing can stop our brand. We will build a multi-billion euro franchise, greater than even Star

offer!” Wardrobe surrendered to the lure of a long-term

how about we schedule our first fight tomorrow? Would tomorrow be alright?” Ryan took a few steps forward, not waiting for an answer. “I have a very busy agenda. Doomsday weapons won’t

in the president’s path, weapon raised. “You’re

think you can actually stop us?” Ryan channeled his inner villain, while Sarin dangled the A-bomb threateningly. “Don’t force

warned his fellow hero. “He’s also probably a Genius of some kind from the

behind his mask. “Wait, you think I’m a Psycho

with a nuclear device and a band of mutants. Either you’re a Psycho,

reputation for mental instability makes a lot more sense

ignoring the laser rifles pointed at him.

the butto—” Sarin froze, as the weapon suddenly vanished from her

had transformed into that of a French gentleman with a monocle, a long cloak, and a top hat from which she had drawn the

Arsène Lupin?

“Someone is getting choked for

at the courier with his laser blade raised. However, Frank swiftly grabbed his leg in midair with one hand, and splattered him on the ground like a club. The poor Violet Genome immediately regenerated, and cut off his own leg before Frank

dispose of these annoyances, without touching the truck!” Ryan ordered, as the Private Security opened fire. The courier froze time to sidestep the barrage, while Livia and Sarin took refuge behind Frank. The lasers failed

to touch Ryan with his naked hand. The president gracefully sidestepped to dodge the blow, and then a second. Atom Cat’s hands

Sarin had engaged the Private Security in a firefight, answering the lasers with rockets and shockwaves. The same mook that threatened Ryan’s ultimate weapon hit Sarin’s

be looking for someone she couldn’t see. Wardrobe backed off, wisely trying to keep the A-bomb away from the battle, and Wyvern above smashed Mosquito against the warehouse’s

I thought I might need to use my hands,” Ryan taunted Felix. “I guess my legs will be

but leaped at his foe, but the courier simply dodged and tripped him. The young hero crashed head-first into the

he loomed threateningly over his former sidekick. Though he

area, including the light truck’s, exploded

Ryan, and he felt a slight shiver down his

stood with his hat

firefight briefly died out, as everyone tried

Augusti princess stood near the truck, with a visible and bloodied Shroud lying on the ground; the vehicle’s container

caught Reload, and seemed ready to crush his back against his knee. Atom Kitten was struggling to get Eugène-Henry off his face, the cat clawing angrily at his cheeks. Ryan had probably thrown his pet at the hero in

Quicksave? That empty feeling of missing

“Quicksave.”

Dragon Mom had regained her human form, while Mosquito was slowly deflating back to

Wyvern warned, her face straining with fury,

know what’s better than one A-bomb,

his bowler hat, and quickly brought out a tiny metal sphere before Wyvern could

“Another bomb!”

members within earshot aimed at

a third bomb out of his jacket, making it look as if he had duplicated

his matter replicator! It made it incredibly easy to manufacture

Almost too easy.

guessed, while Wardrobe immediately changed back her costume to Arsène Lupin’s, she didn’t attempt to steal both bombs from under his nose. Her power had limits. Still, one Private Security agent attempted to shoot the courier’s arm to

nah, nah,” he said, his fingers brushing his weapons’ buttons. “You try anything, I stop time, and

didn’t make a move. “You

Ryan pointed out, his thumbs brushing against the buttons.