The Perfect Run

None dared to move, as Sarin pointed her gauntlets at the group. Energy built up within her hands, ready to unleash mighty shockwaves.

Truth be told, Ryan didn’t fear his rebellious VP. He could easily stop time and defeat her. However, they were in an enclosed space with Knockoffs kept in vats nearby; if she unleashed a shockwave and splattered the courier with the substance, even by accident...

“So, it’s treason then?” Ryan joked. “You know you will get impeached for this defiance, right?”

“You’re the traitor!” Sarin threatened him with her gauntlet. “You promised me to find a cure! I’ve believed you, killed for you, and now… and now you can’t follow through with it, you’re going to turn back!”

“Sarin, darling, there are others in the ro—”

“I won’t let you time-travel again,” Sarin snarled, uncaring. “Not until you cure me first. Even if it takes you months, I won’t let you go back until it’s done.”

Ryan tensed, and glanced at the other people in the room. Livia remained unperturbed, probably using her power on Sarin to find a way out. And Alchemo...

He wasn’t surprised.

“You knew,” Ryan said. “You bastard, you listened at the door when I told you not to.”

Every time the courier found the strength to trust that brain-in-a-jar, he found a new and interesting way to betray his confidence.

“I did no such thing,” Alchemo replied, though he sounded apologetic. “But when you wanted me to upload that girl’s memory map…”

“You checked her memories,” Ryan realized, infuriated. The Genius could harvest and read memories from others. “Like Psyshock.”

“I had to, to make sure there was no sabotage left,” Alchemo defended himself. “I am not the wronged party here, meatbag. Why didn’t you tell us, you selfish brat? After everything my daughter and I did for you?”

“Because I told you once!” Ryan snarled, raising a finger at Alchemo. “And you betrayed my trust! You went mad and tried to extract my brain, to prevent me from reloading!”

The Genius stumbled back as if he had been slapped.

“Tea had to finish me off mid-procedure, to spare me from decades of imprisonment,” Ryan continued. “You couldn’t live with the knowledge that you would forget everything.”

“Because you’re killing us, asshole!” Sarin snarled. “You’re playing with our lives!”

“That is not how it works, Sarin,” Livia spoke up, completely calm. “This is your psychosis talking, not you. I understand you must feel desperate—”

“You can’t understand me, jackass. You can’t even understand what it is to be me.” Sarin clenched her fists. “Six months.”

The Psycho let out these words like bullets, like a heavy secret she finally found the courage to get off her chest.

“The first time… the first time I gained my powers, the wind dispersed me,” she admitted. “I… I didn’t know how my power worked very well, so it took me months to pull myself together. Months to find a container I didn’t rust on contact. So no, you don’t understand what it is to be me. To feel nothing, to see people have sex and eat food and sleep and just watch!”

By now she was screaming.

“You can’t understand being separated from the world outside by this cloth prison. You can’t understand being afraid of any blade around you, in case one breaches the one thing keeping you in one piece! I’ve spent years like this!”

“And you spent those years hanging out with Adam and letting him sow misery wherever he went,” Ryan replied, his tone icy. “I’ve watched you stand by his side after he burnt all of New Rome to cinders. Did you stand by his side when he force-fed Helen an Elixir? Would you have let him turn me into a Psycho, if I couldn’t turn back time?”

“I…” To her credit, Hazmat Girl faltered a little at his words, but not enough to take responsibility. “I had no choice! Nobody else would help, and when I was in, he wouldn’t let me go!”

Ryan didn’t buy that excuse. “You always have a choice, even if some will cost you more than others.” He knew that from experience. “You just weren’t brave enough to take a stand. And unlike Frank, Mongrel, or Acid Rain, you can’t claim insanity. You’re entirely lucid.”

The courier felt some sympathy for her situation, and he owed her one for helping him so far, but it didn’t even begin to make up for her actions. He would cure her, but he wouldn’t forget.

“Sarin, we are working on a solution,” Livia promised, her tone soft and diplomatic. “We have gone further than what Adam the Ogre ever promised you. But we need more time.”

she said, skeptical. “Adam said

will,” Ryan swore. “But you have seen the corpses outside, the people Ghoul killed before I could stop him. This

going. But you’re going to run! You gave us all hope, and you’re to throw us all away! Who

me. I didn’t ask for this power, but I made the best of it.

you follow through with your promise and don’t forget us. You hold all

what you fear, we could copy your memories,” Livia suggested,

Sarin pointed out. “What brain can you copy? If you die now,

me?” Ryan pointed out. “What do you

Psycho froze

thinking straight, Sarin. Lower

pointing both her gauntlets at Ryan. “You’re

replied. The words sounded bitter

Your amphibian girlfriend, she’s not going back either. If I

tensed up, but Livia reacted quicker. “All you will do is ruin your chances of ever being cured,” she

what I should do, trust?” Sarin trembled.

broke his silence. “Because

The Psycho opened fire.

an inch of his head and forcing a

“Fuck!”

She had raised her white flag. “I… I just don’t want to die…

little. “I swear, by the end

she hissed, her voice full of bitterness. “Don’t you get it? I don’t want to be Sarin! I don’t want to be that! I

air. “I swear I will cure you all,” he said. “But you’re not

push him away, which

again. Or vocal device, in his case. “Meatbag, is that… is that why you left us without a word?” he asked. “Because of what I

you anymore after that. And once this loop is done, I hope I won’t

at the cold hard floor,

“I’m sorry?”

was another me having a moment of weakness. I am not the person he was. We were one

worst day,” Ryan

am on my best days too, meatbag. And every day of my life.” The cyborg shook his head. “I am a cynical old man who had to make a robot daughter, because he drove everyone else away. There, I said it. I was angry when you left, and it hurt the Doll. But… It made me question myself. Made me try to

for you,” the courier accused

help you, and that gaseous girl. Maybe she doesn’t have a brain, but she can form memories. I can figure it out, make a copy of her

trust you,” Ryan replied. “And the more people who know about

trust you unconditionally!” Alchemo snarled

said, putting a hand on the courier’s shoulder.

is earned,”

loved you… much to

you, Ryan,” Livia said, glancing at a despairing Sarin. “You don’t have to leave them all behind. I can understand the risks,

Right in the gut.

with whom he had shared a lifetime, never to take it back. He remembered Spain, France, Italy, all the places he visited,

Perfect Run with Len and leaving the place afterward. No one would know but Livia. He could begin again, as he had always done.

Make connections that wouldn’t break, that

important. He couldn’t do the same thing over and over

“I won’t take everyone.

a repeat of his

back, but I have the feeling now is the best time to make back-ups of everyone. We are approaching a

Dynamis and the Carnival mobilized,

it would feel nice to have

took Sarin with him, to try and figure out how to record her memories. Ryan didn’t know if it was possible, even if

situation, no, this entire loop, was a giant leap