The Perfect Run

None dared to move, as Sarin pointed her gauntlets at the group. Energy built up within her hands, ready to unleash mighty shockwaves.

Truth be told, Ryan didn’t fear his rebellious VP. He could easily stop time and defeat her. However, they were in an enclosed space with Knockoffs kept in vats nearby; if she unleashed a shockwave and splattered the courier with the substance, even by accident...

“So, it’s treason then?” Ryan joked. “You know you will get impeached for this defiance, right?”

“You’re the traitor!” Sarin threatened him with her gauntlet. “You promised me to find a cure! I’ve believed you, killed for you, and now… and now you can’t follow through with it, you’re going to turn back!”

“Sarin, darling, there are others in the ro—”

“I won’t let you time-travel again,” Sarin snarled, uncaring. “Not until you cure me first. Even if it takes you months, I won’t let you go back until it’s done.”

Ryan tensed, and glanced at the other people in the room. Livia remained unperturbed, probably using her power on Sarin to find a way out. And Alchemo...

He wasn’t surprised.

“You knew,” Ryan said. “You bastard, you listened at the door when I told you not to.”

Every time the courier found the strength to trust that brain-in-a-jar, he found a new and interesting way to betray his confidence.

“I did no such thing,” Alchemo replied, though he sounded apologetic. “But when you wanted me to upload that girl’s memory map…”

“You checked her memories,” Ryan realized, infuriated. The Genius could harvest and read memories from others. “Like Psyshock.”

“I had to, to make sure there was no sabotage left,” Alchemo defended himself. “I am not the wronged party here, meatbag. Why didn’t you tell us, you selfish brat? After everything my daughter and I did for you?”

“Because I told you once!” Ryan snarled, raising a finger at Alchemo. “And you betrayed my trust! You went mad and tried to extract my brain, to prevent me from reloading!”

The Genius stumbled back as if he had been slapped.

“Tea had to finish me off mid-procedure, to spare me from decades of imprisonment,” Ryan continued. “You couldn’t live with the knowledge that you would forget everything.”

“Because you’re killing us, asshole!” Sarin snarled. “You’re playing with our lives!”

“That is not how it works, Sarin,” Livia spoke up, completely calm. “This is your psychosis talking, not you. I understand you must feel desperate—”

“You can’t understand me, jackass. You can’t even understand what it is to be me.” Sarin clenched her fists. “Six months.”

The Psycho let out these words like bullets, like a heavy secret she finally found the courage to get off her chest.

“The first time… the first time I gained my powers, the wind dispersed me,” she admitted. “I… I didn’t know how my power worked very well, so it took me months to pull myself together. Months to find a container I didn’t rust on contact. So no, you don’t understand what it is to be me. To feel nothing, to see people have sex and eat food and sleep and just watch!”

By now she was screaming.

“You can’t understand being separated from the world outside by this cloth prison. You can’t understand being afraid of any blade around you, in case one breaches the one thing keeping you in one piece! I’ve spent years like this!”

“And you spent those years hanging out with Adam and letting him sow misery wherever he went,” Ryan replied, his tone icy. “I’ve watched you stand by his side after he burnt all of New Rome to cinders. Did you stand by his side when he force-fed Helen an Elixir? Would you have let him turn me into a Psycho, if I couldn’t turn back time?”

“I…” To her credit, Hazmat Girl faltered a little at his words, but not enough to take responsibility. “I had no choice! Nobody else would help, and when I was in, he wouldn’t let me go!”

Ryan didn’t buy that excuse. “You always have a choice, even if some will cost you more than others.” He knew that from experience. “You just weren’t brave enough to take a stand. And unlike Frank, Mongrel, or Acid Rain, you can’t claim insanity. You’re entirely lucid.”

The courier felt some sympathy for her situation, and he owed her one for helping him so far, but it didn’t even begin to make up for her actions. He would cure her, but he wouldn’t forget.

“Sarin, we are working on a solution,” Livia promised, her tone soft and diplomatic. “We have gone further than what Adam the Ogre ever promised you. But we need more time.”

skeptical. “Adam

corpses outside, the people Ghoul killed before I could stop him. This timeline is spiraling towards

going to run! You gave us all hope, and you’re to throw us all away! Who gives you the right to let

your airheadedness, but don’t push me. I didn’t ask for this

your promise and don’t forget us. You

copy your memories,” Livia suggested, hopeful. “I can store

air for a head,” Sarin pointed out. “What brain can you copy? If you die now,

Ryan pointed out.

Psycho froze in

thought that far,” Livia said. “Because you are not thinking straight, Sarin. Lower your

Psycho didn’t listen. “I’m sick of words,” she said, pointing both her gauntlets at Ryan. “You’re all talk and no action, like Adam. Cure me now, or I’ll kill

will come back,” the courier replied. The

bring anyone else back. No more transfers. Your amphibian

of ever being cured,” she said. “Because you won’t stop him, and he will

I should do, trust?” Sarin trembled.

silence. “Because that’s all you have

The Psycho opened fire.

an inch of his head and forcing a hole into the thick steel. He didn’t flinch, nor

“Fuck!”

collapsed to her knees, hitting the ground twice with her fists. She had raised her white flag. “I… I just

will live,” Ryan said, his tone softening a little. “I swear, by

get it? I don’t want to be Sarin! I don’t want to be that! I can’t stand it, and I

inside the hazmat suit, except compressed air. “I swear I will cure you all,” he said. “But you’re not the only person on my Christmas list. Your turn will come, even if I have to repeat the same month for years,

push him away, which he took for

found his tongue again. Or vocal device, in his case. “Meatbag, is that… is that

loop is done, I

down at the cold hard floor, and

“I’m sorry?”

weakness. I am not the person he was. We were one once, but

worst day,” Ryan

am on my best days too, meatbag. And every day of my life.” The cyborg shook his head. “I am a cynical old man who had to make a robot daughter, because he drove everyone else away. There, I said it. I was angry when you left, and it hurt the Doll. But…

the

Genius replied calmly. “Not just for me. For the Doll too. She wanted to help others, so I did. I can help you, and that gaseous girl. Maybe she doesn’t have a brain,

you,” Ryan replied. “And the more people who know

to trust you

hand on the courier’s shoulder.

earned,” Ryan

may not like me, meatbag, but she loved you… much to my annoyance. If we never meet again, my daughter will never

you like it or not, you have people who care for and rely on you, Ryan,” Livia said, glancing at a despairing Sarin. “You don’t have to leave them all behind. I can understand the risks, but… is it worth driving into the

Right in the gut.

time. Back when he drove away from Monaco after freeing its prisoners. How he left behind people with whom he had shared a lifetime, never to take it back. He remembered Spain, France, Italy, all the

No one would know but Livia. He could begin again, as he had always done. He had fun hanging out with Felix, the Wardrobe, Vulcan, and many others, but his eternal life would go

transcending time. Make connections that wouldn’t break, that could go wrong, that he

realized something important. He couldn’t do the same thing over and over again and expect different results. If Ryan wanted a change in his life, it had to begin with him. Even

“I won’t take everyone. Too

repeat of his capture by

will record the memories of the people you vet first,” Livia reassured him. “My father wants me back, but I have the feeling now is the best time

the Carnival mobilized, things would become extraordinarily

nice to have other people

try and figure out how to record her memories. Ryan didn’t know if it was possible, even

situation, no, this entire loop, was a