The Perfect Run

Ryan picked up two ladies in Rust Town, with a skeletal zombie chained to his car hood.

“Seriously?” Ryan asked his girlfriend with skeptical eyes. While Fortuna came to the mission with her sensual, white-latex catsuit, Livia brought a pair of jeans and a blue hoodie. “I’m not letting you in.”

“I’m sorry, it’s the only practical clothing I could grab in an hour,” Livia apologized. Ryan’s loops began while she was having a girl’s day out with Fortuna, and although it allowed the two to slip away from the Augusti undetected in spite of Geist’s sudden disappearance, it didn’t give them enough time to find the perfect outfit. “But it’s cotton!”

“Passable,” Ryan replied with a shrug, before reluctantly letting them in. The courier had come fully prepared, with the Fisty Brothers gauntlets and two submachine guns waiting on the front seat. He had even gotten the bowler hat out of storage, ready for war, and convinced Paulie to hand over his secret weapon.

It was amazing how much one could achieve in an hour with the perfect timing and little traffic.

Ryan would rather have more time to prepare, but they couldn’t wait any longer. Big Fat Adam was about to throw his captives into the meat-grinder any second now.

“Livy, you should have told me,” Fortuna said as she and Livia climbed at the back. “I had a back-up suit!”

“I know, but…” Her best friend responded with an awkward smile. “I find it a little indecent...”

“I-it’s not indecent, it’s gawking!” Fortuna complained with a blush, as Ryan drove through the district’s desolate streets. “And is that a real skeleton on the car hood?”

“Help!” Ghoul suddenly screamed at the car’s front, startling Fortuna. The Psycho had lost both his legs and hands, leaving only the head and rib cage chained below the windshield. “Help me, he’s mad! He’s mad!”

“Shush, my little astronaut,” Ryan said with a soft, gentle tone. It made the undead Psycho cower in fear. “Living people are talking.”

“Don’t worry, he deserves it,” Livia explained to Fortuna, before glancing at her boyfriend. “Felix and the others will arrive a few minutes after us.”

“Good, I can make a great first impression then.” Ryan smashed the accelerator, and aimed straight for the Junkyard. Ghoul screamed, as the district’s toxic wind battered his naked eyes.

“Felix is coming too?” Fortuna asked at the back, eminently curious. Since she acted as Livia’s bodyguard and trusted her best friend absolutely, she must have come without asking many questions. “He’s coming back to us?”

“No,” Livia replied, “but Ryan convinced him to make an effort and keep in touch.”

“You did?” Lucky Girl glanced at the handsome driver with renewed respect. “You know, I was about to say Livia was too good for you, but I take it back!”

“Thank you, thank you,” Ryan said, as he noticed the trash walls of the Junkyard appearing in the distance. “Where is my payment?”

“The ammo?” Fortuna gave Ryan a handful of pointed, arrow-shaped bullets. Ryan grabbed a gun while the Plymouth Fury drove by itself. “You’re in luck, the gunshop had some in stock! What did you need these bullets for?”

“Whale hunting,” Ryan replied, as he loaded the ammo in his gun and showcased it to his girlfriend. “Sixteen rounds, 9mm. It can quickly fire round after round without pause.”

“Hard question.” Livia gave him a playfullook. “Does it ever jam?”

“Never, nor does it overheat. It can keep pumping out rounds all night long.” Ryan gently caressed the tip of the barrel. “Though I often need help with the safety catch.”

“Good, I have a firm but gentle handle on these things,” his girlfriend said with a coy voice, as she grabbed the Fisty Brothers and put them on. “I could help with the... fingerwork.”

“Be gentle though,” Ryan warned, as he put his weapon inside his trench coat, right between the sleeping Plushie and the Bliss inhaler. “The barrel is one of a kind and the trigger is very sensitive. One wrong move, and it’ll fire too soon.”

“Are you talking about weapons or something else?” Fortuna asked, as red as a tomato.

“I have Paulie’s rocket launcher below your seat, if you want to try a heavier caliber,” Ryan said innocently. “I hope you’re open to new experiences, because your target is a she.”

Before Fortuna could protest, Len’s voice came out of the Chronoradio. “I’m in position, Riri.”

“What about Henriette and Eugène-Henry?” Ryan asked back, as they came into view of the Junkyard. Hills of trash and stacks of cars overshadowed a fence, shielded by the Reptilian and Gemini. Both observed the car approaching in confusion, while Ghoul screamed in terror.

“At the orphanage with Sarah.”

Perfect.

“Ghoul?!” The Reptilian shouted upon recognizing his teammate, his reptilian eyes widening in terror.

In response, Ryan opened his window and pointed a finger at the US government’s secret lizardman master. “Witness me!”

Gemini’s light body instantly vanished in a flash of light, while the Reptilian narrowly managed to leap out of the way before the crazed driver could hit him. Ryan’s car smashed through the fence at full speed.

scavenging in the area. Mongrel glanced at the intruders from atop a rusted car, his teeth sinking into a living rat’s

in previous loops, the sight filled Ryan with compassion. Mongrel truly didn’t deserve being turned into an animal, and the courier would make

attacking, Ryan tossed grenades behind him to collapse some of the trash walls and disrupt ground-based reinforcements. His own

the heavy gaze of the Land on him, and a quake sent debris falling on his car. Having

Ryan reached the Junkyard’s landmark trash tower and the tunnel leading to the bunker, he noticed two shadows flying in the skies above. Two would-be heroes, floating

clouds already formed above the Junkyard, as Acid Rain and Mosquito moved to protect the tunnel’s entrance. “Thieves!” the former snarled as she drew knives. Much like Mongrel before her, the sight of her maddened expression made Ryan

The courier shouted, as he veered his car to the left. “Shoot the other blonde! Double

rocket launcher in hand. She pressed the trigger before she even landed on

a smiley face painted on the tip flew straight at her. She immediately teleported above a trash wall as an acid drizzle started raining down from the

rushed at the Plymouth Fury with a fist raised. He only

his glass surfboard,

“FLYING PRESS!”

fly swatter, and buried him alive beneath pounds of

landed in the middle of the courtyard. Ryan parked his Plymouth Fury right next to it, stepping out of the car alongside Livia with grace and

rejoiced at her brother’s presence, tossing the empty rocket launcher away. Livia handed her best

always wondered how a team-up would go,” Atom Cat replied, before noticing Mongrel leaping into view atop a trash wall. The maddened

force,” Ryan said. “Stick

the trash walls, turning them into bombs,

caused a weakened trash wall to collapse on itself and cast a rain of debris on Fortuna, the and Mosquito. Felix’s eyes immediately widened in panic,

danger, Lucky Girl was too close to dodge. She

time and rushed to her

the living lottery ticket, carrying her

Ryan should have known

as he became visible, holding a blushing Fortuna in his arms bridal style. And her power didn’t even need to force his hand this time around! “Clean-up

relief. “Thanks,” he said to Mathias, before focusing back on

reaction was far less refined. “Felix, you screw-up, you almost dirtied my clothes!” she complained, shouting so loudly that Shroud winced. “I

moved into the shaking tunnel. Before he abandoned the surface, the courier

events were so familiar, yet different. A scenario honed through multiple repetitions, built upon information he had collected over many loops, executed by allies

yet he immediately noticed something utterly new. Something he never

His Plymouth Fury…

Plymouth Fury hadn’t taken any

sign,” Ryan muttered

it will make it through the day intact,” Livia said with

Perfect Run confirmed!

them. The

take the left, you take the righ—” Ryan asked his

regained consciousness, the couple was walking through the

teasing him

complained,

they entered the metal corridor leading to the

and at Psyshock’s thralls toiling on Mechron’s mech

surprise, Mr. Romano?” Livia asked, suddenly interested. “I

the Dynamis date, princess,” Ryan said, as Len suddenly emerged from the waters and attacked the thralls with her bubble rifle. “The Dynamis

six Psychos occupied the room. Sarin, the liquid Ink Machine, and the faceless Incognito played pool alongside the sickly white, bald Pale Guy. Rakshasa played Street Fighter on the room’s arcade, while

hit a ball with a cue stick, before looking up at the newcomers. She didn’t say a word, and for a brief instant, the courier worried that

a secret code to

in the toilet,” Ryan said, before clocking his submachine gun. “I repeat, the fart is in the

Bianca let out a sigh as

these guys, Sarin?” Ink Machine asked, falsely

Rakshasa. She blasted them both by

was careful not to kill any of them, he didn’t even manage to wound them. Incognito dived behind the pool table for protection, while Fuckface materialized crimson arms of energy to deflect the bullets. Pale Guy simply dodged, but Livia quickly moved to

you traitor!” Fuckface snarled from behind the counter. “Incognito,

hastily rushed towards the elevator, but Ryan quickly shot him in the knees with his submachine

submachine gun at the bar counter. “We meet again, Fuckface! Won’t say I missed you

complained, before spitting

he froze time and dodged.

look deeper afterward. Pale Guy too, now that he thought of it. They hadn’t

Before the Psycho could retaliate with her energy arms, the courier violently smashed her head against the

dodged her blast, but Livia exploited the opportunity to flank him from another direction.