The Perfect Run

Enrique Manada had been true to his word.

Sitting around a garish pink table at the Dostoïevski restaurant, Ryan, Len, and the Panda examined the plans of Dynamis’ Gravity Gun; though the Gravity Rifle would have been a better name for it. The device was long and impractical, though the courier was certain they could miniaturize it.

As Livia had promised, the Dostoïevski was a Russian all-you-can-eat buffet located at New Rome’s periphery and catering almost exclusively to families. The restaurant could have easily accommodated hundreds of patrons, though Ryan’s girlfriend had rented the entire restaurant for a private gathering. The floor was carpeted with industrial, blue flooring, with the food steam trays decorated with fish imagery; staff members were dressed in sailor’s attire, and the tables smelled of ice cream. Somehow, the comforting atmosphere put even the usually shy Len at ease.

Everyone had come dressed casually for the occasion, even Ryan. The other guests hadn’t arrived yet, though the courier didn’t doubt they would. Nobody in their right mind would miss the garish neon lights advertising the restaurant on the roof.

“A few seconds after being fired, the projectile creates a gravitational anomaly,” Timmy explained, after reviewing the schematics. It was so odd to see him without his costume on in human form. He looked so scrawny and ordinary, with a shy, gentle smile. “Everything in its vicinity is pulled towards the sphere, while it counteracts the Earth’s pull.”

“So, if I understand correctly, and I almost always do,” Ryan said, “the sphere will pull Lightning Butt towards itself, and then fly up?”

His pandawan nodded. “According to Dynamis’ calculations, the Gravity Gun will expel him from the upper atmosphere. After that, the sphere will wander through the solar system without ever returning home.”

Ryan immediately saw where Dynamis found the inspiration for that plan. “They wanted to Kars Augustus.”

“Kars?” Len asked with a frown. Ryan silently vowed to remedy her complete absence of pop culture knowledge.

“I understood that reference!” The Panda said happily.

“Every time you open your mouth, my young pandawan, my faith in humanity is renewed,” his mentor congratulated him.

“But will it work?” Len asked with skepticism. “Augustus can fly.”

“By manipulating electric charges to ionize air,” Ryan pointed out. “He shouldn’t be able to fly outside the atmosphere. However, if he breaks the sphere before reaching space...”

Len frowned. “Do you think it could work, Riri?”

“Livia doesn’t believe so.” At least not without support. “Well, it’s not like I’m going to rely on only one secret weapon.” His main plan was to lure Lightning Butt to Monaco and trap him there permanently, while beating him up into submission with his Black Flux power remained a secondary option.

“We could make copies and distribute them to our group,” Len suggested. “I could replace my water rifle with it.”

“No, too dangerous,” Ryan said. “For it to work, I will need to fire it in close combat. Better to use our limited time on miniaturizing this Gravity Gun and install it in my armor.”

“Only your armor?” Shortie’s eyes widened. “Riri, you can’t mean…”

“Dynamis’ gardener in chief had a point. When people dare the lightning to strike them, they die.” Ryan had seen Augustus tear apart Big Adam’s jaw with a backhand, shatter Sunshine’s core, and survive the following supernova. New Rome’s tyrant was, by far, the most powerful foe the courier had ever faced. There was no room for error with him. “I’ll take Mob Zeus on alone.”

“Sifu, no!” The Panda protested in panic. “That’s suicide!”

“He’s right, Riri,” Len added while folding the schematics. “I’m coming with you.”

“I’m the only one who can even harm him,” Ryan replied. “And his immunity to my time-stop means I’ll have a hard time saving anyone caught in the crossfire. If he kills me, I can come back from it.”

Hopefully.

Len looked ready to protest, when the restaurant’s door slammed open and a green-haired spitfire walked into the place. “Holà!” the young woman said in mangled Spanish, before switching back to Italian. She dressed so trashily that Ryan almost missed the hazmat suit. “What’s up, boys and girls?”

“Hey, Bianca!” Ryan welcomed her with a raised hand. “What will you start with? Caviar? Blinis? Borscht?”

“I’ll try everything, El Presidente,” the former Sarin snickered, as a blonde, shy woman and a scrawny man followed her. A giant more than two meters tall closed the march, though he struggled to fit through the restaurant’s doors. “I’ve got years of sensory deprivation to make up for.”

“Hello…” The former Acid Rain smiled shyly at Ryan’s group. The contrast with her deranged former self couldn’t be starker.

“Oh, hi Helen!” The Panda waved a hand at them. “Hi, Mongrel!”

“Not Mongrel,” the latter replied. With his Knockoff Elixirs out of his system, the former Psycho looked healthy and most importantly, sane again. “It’s Jerome now. I don’t wanna have a supervillain nickname ever again.”

“You should still pick one,” Ryan said. “We’ll need you to improve our cure, and maybe even help us with weapons in hand.”

The former Mongrel shrugged. “Look, I owe you guys a life debt, and I’ll pay it back. But once it’s done, I never want to have anything to do with Elixirs or fight for the rest of my life. Years as a savage animal make you appreciate a normal nine-to-five existence like nothing else.”

“You… you freed me from a long nightmare. Cured me, and gave me my life back.” Helen bowed to Ryan deeply. “If I can do anything to help… I will do it. Even if it means picking up arms again.”

“Yeah, none of us are finks here,” Bianca said. “Even Frank feels he owes you one… that, and he’s eager to burn down the establishment.”

Ryan glanced at the last member of the group as he walked inside the restaurant. Though he was no longer the colossus he had once been, the man was still over two meters tall, and slightly balding. His middle-aged face reminded Ryan of Marshal Zhukov, tough and blunt, but also someone you could have a good time fishing with. His grey parka and heavy boots made him look for a soldier ready to go to war.

“My name is not Frank,” the giant replied with a heavy Russian accent. “My name is Vladimir. Or Vlad, like the impaler.”

“Whatever you say,” Bianca replied, before moving on to the buffet. Helen hurriedly followed after her, while Jerome asked the waiters about the nearest toilets. “I never knew I would say that, but I liked you more as an American.”

Ryan agreed. Frank had been a true patriot, enthusiastic, loyal, amusing… while his real self...

“It was capitalist brainwashing,” Vlad the Mad replied. “They know they cannot stop the revolution, so they infect the workers’ minds with microchips and polluted ideas.”

His real self was a total killjoy.

Worse, Len immediately recognized a kindred spirit. “Are you a Marxist-Leninist?” she asked hopefully.

Vlad the Mad’s eyes lit up in enthusiasm, and he immediately sat right next to Shortie. Thankfully, the tables were meant for six and could accommodate the giant just fine. “I am a Trotskyist,” he said with pride. “Only through permanent revolution can the workers of the world achieve equality for all!”

“I thought the communists were almost extinct?” Timmy asked naively.

“No, you would fit right in,” Ryan said. “But only in Panda form.”

“You think equality is something to joke about?” Vlad squinted at Ryan. “You think neoliberal oppression is funny?”

one took everything seriously, and didn’t have a humorous bone in

be dead, but his ideas live on,” Vlad the

overjoyed to meet another commie that she started grilling him about political theory. “Do you think universal equality can still be achieved in a neo-capitalist

her two powers, the former Acid Rain could switch the position of items of near-equivalent mass, including herself. “The workers of the world have never been more oppressed! The only thing they lack to take back the means of production,

watched Len grin, Ryan had the feeling that these two would become BFFs in no time. He wondered if

the acme of subtlety. “And that

time!” Alchemo complained crankily as he stepped into the restaurant, his daughter and a toaster on

not the food that matters, but the company,” the Doll insisted, before greeting everyone.

on wheels rolled all the way to the buffet,

talking?” Helen asked Bianca, who shrugged before buttering a blini with low-quality

last. Mathias walked into the restaurant with his dazzlingly golden girlfriend holding his arm, while Livia and Felix exchanged words behind them. Ryan observed

said when Livia returned

wink, before glancing at Fortuna. “Do you mind if I take

putting one arm around her boyfriend’s, and another around her brother’s. “These gentlemen will keep me

things I do for family,” Felix grumbled,

a bit too much on that

gaze, before dragging them

the rest,

they playing the Rains of Castamere?” Ryan asked, upon recognizing

Mathias still half suspects me of treachery, and will recognize the reference,” Livia said, glancing at the vigilante. Though Mathias sat with his girlfriend and Felix, he often glanced at Ryan’s table. Jerome’s return from the toilets quickly distracted him though, as an unusually kind

a cruel, wicked woman,” the

killer and ambush him?” She asked, as a waiter gave them

while sipping his glass. “I’m not that vengeful, especially

of the lot, though his girlfriend’s Ferrari gave the Plymouth Fury a

to work on the Bloodstream vaccine plague rather than join us,” Ryan said. “Sunshine and co are destroying Mechron’s remaining bases as we speak. They’ll sit this one out, at least

father catches wind of their

frowned. “How are things going

of their activities in a few days, right

“So far?”

made a surprise visit to Vulcan early tonight, and she left the foundry both alive and unharmed. My father hasn’t been informed yet, but once he is, he will grow suspicious of

an old friend,” Ryan replied with a

the courier didn’t detect any hint of jealousy in his girlfriend’s

that Dragon Mom listened to his advice, but it took New Rome’s destruction by an orbital satellite for Jasmine and

percent chance to take Wyvern on her olive branch, and I will make sure to warn her if my father issues a kill order.

to her joy. “Is it alright to come here though? Your daddy is in

brought Psyshock to Cancel. Officially, I’m meeting with Genome mercenaries to help us take down the Meta-Gang.” She winked at him. “Dad is

be paid in advance,” Ryan said. “That

this time they will examine the area thoroughly.” Livia sighed. “There’s a strong possibility they might discover the bunker,

we’ll have to destroy it.” Ryan had expected as much. “Take what we can, and blow up

“Things like the Bahamut orbital laser and robot armies

to do about Mechron’s Knockoff production process,” Ryan confessed. “I considered offering Dynamis

“Unless?”

putting your

all goes well for us, my father will be ousted from power, as

an eyebrow. “You want

Livia said with a foxy grin.

NER?” The time-traveler chuckled. “I think it’s already

new,” Livia defended her choice. “And

“Moi?”

becoming a president. Don’t you want to

“When

me Queen Crimson,” she said before giving him a dirty gaze. “You’ll look good with a tie

you wear a

vodka. “Mechron’s Knockoff technology could help this newborn nation, or it might create more tensions in Europe. I’ll need

deflated. “If

try again.” She

“I’m having performance

eyes widened. “You

maybe the Violet Ultimate One

kill Geist across multiple timelines?” Livia took his hands into

his power’s inner workings, and how it interfered with the space-time continuum. The more he spoke, the more she scowled… Although to his surprise, Livia

she said with a sad frown. “What did you ask for to get a power

answered bluntly, “I

girlfriend bristled, but her sorrow quickly turned into hope. “You wanted to die, past tense,” she

Sharp.

on vodka. The Doll managed to make Alchemo relax a bit, while Helen grew more at ease as Toasty’s terrible flirting attempts

Ryan,” she said, her gaze lingering on the former Psychos among them. “In some cases, you saved their lives, in more

most of all,” Ryan

is why I’m not so worried about the Ultimate One’s plans for you,” Livia declared. “If it weren’t for its influence, we wouldn’t have met each other. If it encourages you to see

gnawed at her heart. “But if everything you destroy with that

swear. I might imprison him, but I

him carefully, before nodding

“That’s all?”

I know you will follow through with that one.” Her

had no intention of saving Lightning Butt from himself. “Or I might accidentally give him a wound he will never

with the fact her

has done,” she admitted. “Ordering his victims to help cure him would be greedy. Bruno Costa could have saved him, and he blew that chance anyway. Now, he won’t even let his daughter Narcinia

additional defenders can we

“Aunt Pluto and the Killer Seven

of these people needed to go for the Augusti to reform, Bacchus