Chapter 41
We didn’t see Lauren again during our entire stay at the pack hose. I braced myself for the possibility that I might run into her but thankfully, I didn’t. Riley had noticed how jumpy I was but she didn’t ask about it or force me to explain, she would just occasionally ask if I was okay and I realized that was something that Ryker would have done.
By the end of the day, I had been given years worth of knowledge in one day and I felt a little bit more confident in the planning of our mating ceremony. I was still scared by the idea but I felt a lot better and at ease at the idea.
Riley came back with us in the carriage; she pointedly ignored Ryker and I, not that I blamed her considering Ryker was rubbing circles on my palm and whispering in my ear. I couldn’t help but wonder how uncomfortable it was for her and I told Ryker using our mind link. He just laughed and assured me that she is fine.
When we got home, Riley got out first. She was about to pull me to her when Ryker held on to my waist.
“Why don’t we go for a run?” he offered to me then he turned to Riley, “Eve is inside; you should rest after your trip.”
Riley nodded and grabbed her small bag but when Ryker wasn’t looking, she sent me a discreet wink. My cheeks heated but I barely had time to respond or react to her because Ryker was already pulling me towards the forest.
We walked for a while in silence. His hands held mine tightly and we walked until we got to our spot in the forest. I have started to think of that lake as our spot since almost every good thing that happens around us happens at that spot.
I was shocked however to see that the entire place had been transformed. There was a picnic blanket laying there with a closed basket and a bottle of wine. I turned to look at Ryker with wide eyes but I noticed his cheeks were stained with a little pink.
He gestured for me to go ahead of him and I went with wide eyes as I took in the entire scene. I sat cross legged and he sat right next to me, never once letting go of my hand as he pulled open the picnic basket.
In it were different pastries like scones and pies and the aroma was so overwhelmingly good. My stomach grumbled loud and I flushed pink
because I didn’t think I would be this hungry especially after the sandwiches I ate with Riley.
“There’s no need to be embarrassed,” Ryker said as he handed me a scone, “Your body is trying to regulate the amount you need because of your wolf. For the next week or two you probably will be eating a lot more than you ever have.”
“It just feels weird,” I said finally, “I’ve never been one to eat much so it just feels different.”
“I know, but you’ll get used to it. I promise you.”

We sat in silence while we ate the snacks that Ryker had prepared. Occasionally, he would ask me a question and we would spend a few minutes talking but then ultimately we would drift back into our comfortable silence.
I liked that something about the silence was just comfortable and not strained. There was no rush to fill it in with words or ramblings. I was comfortable just sitting there with him and no one else without feeling the need or the pressure to do anything more than what I needed to.
I don’t know how it happened, but somehow I ended up with my head lying across his lap while he ran his fingers through my curls softly. In an almost patronizingly soft manner as if he was trying to calm me down or get me to sleep.
“Camilla,” he began and I hummed, “What do you think about moving into my room.”
The question caught me off guard, “I already sleep there.”
“Yes, but your things are in your room.” He continued, “It feels like you’re preparing for a storm that might never come and keeping that place as a backup option.”
“I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing.” The more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right. I was unknowingly keeping that place as a second option should things go out of control. “I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to apologize for love. You can still have your room and should you ever need your space then it is yours. Nothing is ever going to change that. I just want to do this with you, completely.”
I felt tears pri ck the back of my eyes and I furiously tried to blink them away, “I don’t know how to do this.” I admitted.
His hands stopped moving and I felt his eyes on me compelling me to
look up at him. I didn’t want to but I knew I had just opened a can of worms so I did. I let my eyes move to his.
“What are you scared of baby?” he asked and when I didn’t respond he sighed and leaned over to press a kiss to my forehead, “Tell me.”
“I get scared that you’ll one day realize that I’m not what you want and you’ll leave. I’m worried that this is all for show and I’m just worried that I’m going to get hurt.”
He sighed and pulled me off his lap. I expected that he would get upset and tell me I was being unreasonable but instead, he turned me around so I was sitting directly and facing him. He ran his hands down my face. until they settled and cupped my cheeks.
“I know it’s st upid. I know but I just-,”
“Camilla,” he breathed and I went silent, “it isn’t st upid to feel that way after everything. It isn’t st upid to want extra validation. It isn’t s tupid to say that you’re worried. I don’t know how to make those feelings go away but I will do everything in my power to make sure you never feel that way again.”
“I know you’ve done everything and that’s why I’m saying it’s st upid because you’ve literally been nothing but nice and I should be able to deal with all of this.”
“Camilla,” I stopped mid rant to look at him, “It doesn’t matter, I don’t care or mind doing all of this. If you don’t feel safe then it is my job to make you feel safe. If you still feel the need to worry then I’m not doing something right, not you. I will try my hardest to make sure that you never have to worry.”
He ran his thumb across my cheek to get rid of a tear that I didn’t know had slipped free from my eyes.
“I promise you that I will never do anything that makes you feel like you have to second guess us or our mating. All you have to do is talk to me and tell me when something makes you feel uncomfortable and I will do everything I can to make sure that you never feel like that.”
By this time, I couldn’t control the tears that were slipping. I hadn’t expected him to bare it all out for me and give me the reassurance that I didn’t know I needed. All I could do was nod as he wiped away my tears and pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead.
He didn’t say another word, until the tears had stopped falling. He just sat with me silently and pulled me into his chest. His arms wound around
me tightly and for the first time in a very long time, I felt completely at peace in someone else’s arms. I felt like there was nothing I had to worry about.
When I was a little more composed, I pulled back from him and I could see him searching my features to know if I was alright or not.
“I’m fine,” I assured him as I wiped my face clean with my hands, “I think I just needed that.” He chuckled under his breath, “I’m sorry I put a damper on the mood.”
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