Chapter 191

RYKER’S P.O.V

I was a mess.

That was the only accurate way I could describe myself. It had been almost two months and if I wished, I could have given the exact number of days and even hours but I was so strung up that most times I could barely remember where I was. Everyone watched me like a coiled spring ready to snap. Maybe it was because I hadn’t spoken about it to anyone or maybe it was the fact that the last time they tried, I forbade anyone from speaking. The only people who got to see me smile were my daughters and even then it felt forced.

I wasn’t sure how to do this whole ruling ting without Camilla and I couldn’t help but wonder what exactly was stopping her from.returning. I knew she wasn’t dead, I could feel the bond, albeit a bit smothered probably due to distance but I could feel it and I knew that she was alive but I didn’t know where she was. It didn’t stop me from looking for her every second I could spare.

My days were filled to the brim with palace work, my daughters and trying to find Camilla. Juan and Christine helped out where they could but I could tell they did it more out of pity than anything. Even I could see how it could potentially look pathetic but I knew what I felt and I knew that Camilla was alive. There was nothing that could make me stop believing that.

I shook my head to clear the thoughts out and stacked up my files as neatly as possible. It was sometime around seven if I were to guess and I knew it was only a matter of time before Audrey came to me to tuck her in bed. She had been suspiciously quiet since Camilla disappeared. She asked for her mother every day for a week and I explained as best as I could to a child her age. Her mother was missing. To say that she was distraught would have been an understatement but she didn’t fight me on it, she didn’t even cry.

I found her in her room seated cross legged on the bed. She was already in her pajamas and she was struggling with the fish braids on her head. I immediately rushed over to assist and she reluctantly let me. She didn’t say a word, only kept her eyes fixated on the moon in the sky.

“Do you think mummy is staring at the moon too?” she asked and I shrugged. “I like to think she is.”

“I would like to think she is too,” I whispered in agreement. “She will be back, I promise.”

Audrey didn’t say a word as I brushed her hair, she simply shrugged. I wanted to reach out to her but I didn’t know how. I tried all that I knew to do. Camilla had always been better at these things than I was. I didn’t know

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how to offer verbal support, I just knew how to be there and so I was. I stood there brushing her hair until she leaned backwards into my arms and then I picked her up.

neck and wrapped herself around me. I let out a deep breath when I felt the first tear drop on my shoulder. It broke my heart to see her cry and it hurt even more when I realized she was trying to stay quiet. She was a child, she had

me and you.” She sniffled into my shoulder. “I’m right here.

going to die,” she whispered and I stilled. I pulled back so that I could look her

you heard or what anyone may say, she is alive.”

“She fell off the cliff with the mean woman. I saw it. I saw the

on the end but there was only one thing that bothered me and it was the fact that Audrey was nowhere near present when any of those things happened. She was in the cave where I had kept her safe. I reluctantly pulled away from my sobbing daughter and placed her on

asked and she slowly nodded. I wiped her cheeks clean. “What do you mean by you saw it happen? You were

she agreed.

it? If you were not there then how did you know?”

confusion. “I told you before when we met Lyla the

my hair while muttering curses under my breath. I had completely forgotten about the dreams she had. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

erased her memories.

I ran my hands down my jaw and forced a small smile

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and pulled the covers up to her chin. “It’s okay, your mum

turned to leave but she called out

it,

she began slowly. “Please

“I will.”

was gone, I went in search of Juan and Christine. They were the only two who completely understood everything that was happening. I didn’t have to search for them long because I found them

goddess that you are both here. There is something that we need to

good,” Christine began awkwardly. “We want to

had me taken aback. There was something off about it, almost careful as if she didn’t want to risk offending me. I narrowed my eyes between her and

either way so you might as well just go along with

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