Chapter 191

RYKER’S P.O.V

I was a mess.

That was the only accurate way I could describe myself. It had been almost two months and if I wished, I could have given the exact number of days and even hours but I was so strung up that most times I could barely remember where I was. Everyone watched me like a coiled spring ready to snap. Maybe it was because I hadn’t spoken about it to anyone or maybe it was the fact that the last time they tried, I forbade anyone from speaking. The only people who got to see me smile were my daughters and even then it felt forced.

I wasn’t sure how to do this whole ruling ting without Camilla and I couldn’t help but wonder what exactly was stopping her from.returning. I knew she wasn’t dead, I could feel the bond, albeit a bit smothered probably due to distance but I could feel it and I knew that she was alive but I didn’t know where she was. It didn’t stop me from looking for her every second I could spare.

My days were filled to the brim with palace work, my daughters and trying to find Camilla. Juan and Christine helped out where they could but I could tell they did it more out of pity than anything. Even I could see how it could potentially look pathetic but I knew what I felt and I knew that Camilla was alive. There was nothing that could make me stop believing that.

I shook my head to clear the thoughts out and stacked up my files as neatly as possible. It was sometime around seven if I were to guess and I knew it was only a matter of time before Audrey came to me to tuck her in bed. She had been suspiciously quiet since Camilla disappeared. She asked for her mother every day for a week and I explained as best as I could to a child her age. Her mother was missing. To say that she was distraught would have been an understatement but she didn’t fight me on it, she didn’t even cry.

I found her in her room seated cross legged on the bed. She was already in her pajamas and she was struggling with the fish braids on her head. I immediately rushed over to assist and she reluctantly let me. She didn’t say a word, only kept her eyes fixated on the moon in the sky.

“Do you think mummy is staring at the moon too?” she asked and I shrugged. “I like to think she is.”

“I would like to think she is too,” I whispered in agreement. “She will be back, I promise.”

Audrey didn’t say a word as I brushed her hair, she simply shrugged. I wanted to reach out to her but I didn’t know how. I tried all that I knew to do. Camilla had always been better at these things than I was. I didn’t know

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how to offer verbal support, I just knew how to be there and so I was. I stood there brushing her hair until she leaned backwards into my arms and then I picked her up.

when I felt the first tear drop on my shoulder. It broke my heart to see her cry and it hurt even more when I realized she was

it’s just me and you.” She sniffled into my

knew she was going to die,” she whispered and I stilled. I pulled back

mother is not dead. I don’t care what you heard or

fell off the cliff with the mean woman. I saw it. I saw the blood

was nowhere near present when any of those things happened. She was in the cave where I had kept her safe. I reluctantly pulled away from my sobbing daughter and placed her on the bed. I sat

answer me, okay?” I asked and she slowly nodded. I wiped her cheeks

was,” she agreed.

did you see it? If you were not there

my brows furrowed in confusion. “I told you before

and when I did, I ran my hands through my hair while muttering curses under my breath. I had completely forgotten about the dreams she had.

erased her memories.

ran my

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on her forehead and pulled the covers up to

to leave but she called out to me.

it,

began slowly. “Please find her.”

“I will.”

They were the only two who completely understood everything that was happening. I didn’t have to

you are both here. There is

began awkwardly. “We want

me taken aback. There was something off about it, almost careful as if she didn’t want to risk offending me. I narrowed

off either way so you might as well just go along

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