Chapter 191

RYKER’S P.O.V

I was a mess.

That was the only accurate way I could describe myself. It had been almost two months and if I wished, I could have given the exact number of days and even hours but I was so strung up that most times I could barely remember where I was. Everyone watched me like a coiled spring ready to snap. Maybe it was because I hadn’t spoken about it to anyone or maybe it was the fact that the last time they tried, I forbade anyone from speaking. The only people who got to see me smile were my daughters and even then it felt forced.

I wasn’t sure how to do this whole ruling ting without Camilla and I couldn’t help but wonder what exactly was stopping her from.returning. I knew she wasn’t dead, I could feel the bond, albeit a bit smothered probably due to distance but I could feel it and I knew that she was alive but I didn’t know where she was. It didn’t stop me from looking for her every second I could spare.

My days were filled to the brim with palace work, my daughters and trying to find Camilla. Juan and Christine helped out where they could but I could tell they did it more out of pity than anything. Even I could see how it could potentially look pathetic but I knew what I felt and I knew that Camilla was alive. There was nothing that could make me stop believing that.

I shook my head to clear the thoughts out and stacked up my files as neatly as possible. It was sometime around seven if I were to guess and I knew it was only a matter of time before Audrey came to me to tuck her in bed. She had been suspiciously quiet since Camilla disappeared. She asked for her mother every day for a week and I explained as best as I could to a child her age. Her mother was missing. To say that she was distraught would have been an understatement but she didn’t fight me on it, she didn’t even cry.

I found her in her room seated cross legged on the bed. She was already in her pajamas and she was struggling with the fish braids on her head. I immediately rushed over to assist and she reluctantly let me. She didn’t say a word, only kept her eyes fixated on the moon in the sky.

“Do you think mummy is staring at the moon too?” she asked and I shrugged. “I like to think she is.”

“I would like to think she is too,” I whispered in agreement. “She will be back, I promise.”

Audrey didn’t say a word as I brushed her hair, she simply shrugged. I wanted to reach out to her but I didn’t know how. I tried all that I knew to do. Camilla had always been better at these things than I was. I didn’t know

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how to offer verbal support, I just knew how to be there and so I was. I stood there brushing her hair until she leaned backwards into my arms and then I picked her up.

out a deep breath when I felt

sniffled into my shoulder. “I’m right here. I am not going anywhere until

she whispered and I stilled. I pulled back so that I

I don’t care what you heard or what anyone

the cliff with the mean

was nowhere near present when any of those things happened. She was in the cave where I had kept her safe. I reluctantly pulled away from my sobbing daughter and placed her on the bed. I sat down in front of her and clasped her hands in mine. Her eyes were still cast down and tears dripped freely from her cheeks.

me, okay?” I asked and she slowly nodded. I wiped her cheeks clean. “What do you mean

was,” she agreed.

were not there then how did you

furrowed in confusion. “I told you before when we met Lyla the first time. I

realize what she was talking about and when I did, I ran my hands through my hair while muttering curses under my breath. I had completely forgotten about the

erased her memories.

ran my

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pulled the covers up to her chin. “It’s okay, your

out to me. “Daddy, can you

is it,

slowly. “Please

“I will.”

the room and the moment I was gone, I went in search of Juan and Christine. They were the only two who completely understood everything that was happening. I

you are both here. There

good,” Christine began awkwardly. “We want to talk to you too.”

of her voice that had me taken aback. There was something off about it, almost careful as if she didn’t want to

I frowned. “You’re going to piss me off either way

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