Chapter 204

CAMILLA’S PO.V

I felt bad for speaking to Ryker that way but it was important that he realized. It was important that he didn’t get his hopes up too high. I didn’t want to hurt him in the long run but the truth was that he was already hurting. He expected me to fit into this carefully curated box that he had placed for his mate but I couldn’t. I could barely get through the day, much less be the woman he wanted me to be. Still, that didn’t stop me from feeling bad for him. In a second, he had lost everything and now, he had the chance to get it all back. If I were in his shoes, I probably would have done worse.

It was so exhausting, more tiring than I realized it would be and I wanted to be her- sometimes I thought it would be easier- but how could I be someone I didn’t even remember. Sometimes it felt like I was getting a flash of memory but it would be gone before I could even process

what was going on. I remembered the rooms, I remembered the paths but I couldn’t remember the people and somehow, that felt like the worst punishment.

A knock on my door snapped me out of my thoughts and I turned to find Peggy standing by my door with a small smile on her face. She made her way inside and I didn’t realize how little time I had

spent with her until she actually walked in. Luxury looked good on her, she looked well taken care of and less stressed than she did back in town. I tapped the spot next to me and she didn’t hesitate before taking it.

“I just had to listen to an angry rant from Marie a few hours ago and I saw that fine man storming out of here,” she began and I exhaled deeply. “I am not here to scold you, Camilla. Honestly, I don’t

you. Camilla al know if I have the right to do so. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“Everyone expects me to be happy about this. They think I should just be grateful that I am Queen and that it fell into my lap when it is what people would kill for. Why would I do that? I didn’t ask for all of this. I didn’t want all of this. It just feels like no one understands the pressure that is on my shoulders right now.”

“You shouldn’t expect them too. Only the person who wears the shoes knows exactly where it pinches,” i didn’t respond and she wrapped an arm around my shoulder in a comforting manner. “Everyone has expectations of you. You should have known that the moment you agreed to do this. To these people, you are their Queen, their family, their mother, their mate, their sister and you cannot expect those expectations to go away. The minute you came here, you resigned to being the woman that they know.”

“I only agreed to one year.”

your own intelligence. You know exactly what you signed up for and this is it. It is hard and it is scary and I cannot pretend to understand what that feels like but you are in this already. There is no

she fell silent. “I was this Queen who

I wouldn’t do that now. I wouldn’t heal people at my own detriment especially if I knew I had kids to come home

don’t have to be that girl. People change and people grow. Imagine the old

You have grown and you have changed but deep

I didn’t realize just how much I needed someone to validate my feelings. I needed someone to tell me that I wasn’t overreacting and that it was normal to be scared. By the time I finally pulled away, I knew exactly what I had to do and Peggy did too because she gave me

her room seated cross legged on the bed. She looked

by what I said, you

you are not here to apologize then what are you here for? I have nothing to say

chance to want anything. I am still trying to find my footing and remember what happened in the past six years but I cannot. I

do support you.”

long as I stay in this life. Would you support me if I decided to leave? If I said I was done and I wanted to fake my own death and go back to that small town. If I said that was the life that I wanted would you support me?”

silence was enough of

need my friend, Marie. I don’t need you pushing me to take the choice that best aligns with your dreams. I need a friend who is going to stick by my side and let me know that no matter what, it is me and her against the

life and say that it wasn’t for you? You have everything you could ever want. You have a mate who scoured the ends of the earth to find you, you have children who

never said I didn’t want it. I just said that I needed some time to come to terms with it. I am not going to be the

Whatever it is that you choose to do, I will have

me, I have one more thing that

in her gaze but I didn’t bother waiting to explain it to

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