Chapter 204

CAMILLA’S PO.V

I felt bad for speaking to Ryker that way but it was important that he realized. It was important that he didn’t get his hopes up too high. I didn’t want to hurt him in the long run but the truth was that he was already hurting. He expected me to fit into this carefully curated box that he had placed for his mate but I couldn’t. I could barely get through the day, much less be the woman he wanted me to be. Still, that didn’t stop me from feeling bad for him. In a second, he had lost everything and now, he had the chance to get it all back. If I were in his shoes, I probably would have done worse.

It was so exhausting, more tiring than I realized it would be and I wanted to be her- sometimes I thought it would be easier- but how could I be someone I didn’t even remember. Sometimes it felt like I was getting a flash of memory but it would be gone before I could even process

what was going on. I remembered the rooms, I remembered the paths but I couldn’t remember the people and somehow, that felt like the worst punishment.

A knock on my door snapped me out of my thoughts and I turned to find Peggy standing by my door with a small smile on her face. She made her way inside and I didn’t realize how little time I had

spent with her until she actually walked in. Luxury looked good on her, she looked well taken care of and less stressed than she did back in town. I tapped the spot next to me and she didn’t hesitate before taking it.

“I just had to listen to an angry rant from Marie a few hours ago and I saw that fine man storming out of here,” she began and I exhaled deeply. “I am not here to scold you, Camilla. Honestly, I don’t

you. Camilla al know if I have the right to do so. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“Everyone expects me to be happy about this. They think I should just be grateful that I am Queen and that it fell into my lap when it is what people would kill for. Why would I do that? I didn’t ask for all of this. I didn’t want all of this. It just feels like no one understands the pressure that is on my shoulders right now.”

“You shouldn’t expect them too. Only the person who wears the shoes knows exactly where it pinches,” i didn’t respond and she wrapped an arm around my shoulder in a comforting manner. “Everyone has expectations of you. You should have known that the moment you agreed to do this. To these people, you are their Queen, their family, their mother, their mate, their sister and you cannot expect those expectations to go away. The minute you came here, you resigned to being the woman that they know.”

“I only agreed to one year.”

insult your own intelligence. You know exactly what you signed up for and this is it. It is hard and it is scary and I cannot pretend to understand what that

and she fell silent. “I was this

heal people at my own

change and people grow. Imagine the old Camilla as

have grown and you have changed but deep down, you are that girl.

sat there in complete silence for a full minute. I didn’t realize just how much I needed someone to validate my feelings. I needed someone to tell me that I wasn’t overreacting and that it was normal

evils first which was Marie. She was in her room seated cross legged

I stand by what I said, you don’t understand what

what are you here for? I have nothing to say to

off. “This is all you have ever wanted- a life of ease, a wonderful life and I will not fault you for that. I didn’t even have the chance to want anything. I am still trying to find my footing and remember what happened in the past six years but I cannot. I don’t just have the life of ease, I have kids now and a mate and it is hard to navigate on my own. All I am asking for

support you.”

done and I wanted to fake my own death and go back to that small town. If I said that was the life that I wanted would

silence was enough of a

stick by my side and let me know that no matter what, it is me and her against the world, not her against me because I

a little hurt. “Why would you look at this life and say that it wasn’t for you? You have everything you could ever

crossed her arms over her chest. “I never said I didn’t want it. I just said that I needed some time to come to terms with it. I am not going to

support you. Whatever it is that

Now if you will excuse me, I have one more thing that requires my

I didn’t bother waiting to

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