• Chapter 10

  • Chapter 10

  • Perhaps it was because he first shared his family stories so openly that I found it easier to speak.

  • Hesitating, I said,

  • “My mom passed away, and my dad, like yours, cut ties with me.”

  • That year, at my mom’s funeral, a sea of people came, all dressed in black.

  • The master of ceremonies gave a long eulogy, but I couldn’t fully understand it. My mind wandered midway.

  • I remember looking at my mom’s photo, where she seemed to smile at me, and I smiled back.

  • The next second, I was slapped to the ground by my father.

  • He roared, “Your mom’s dead! How can you still smile?”

  • Everyone turned to look at me as if I were some kind of monster.

  • In that moment, I was terrified.

  • Tears welled in my eyes, but I bit my lips and didn’t dare make a sound.

  • In the first year after my mom’s passing, my dad often sat in the living room at night, flipping through her letters and photos.

  • By the second year, he had packed her belongings into a few boxes and pushed them into a dusty

  • corner.

  • By the third year, he had remarried.

  • The new stepmom dumped the boxes into the yard, saying she wanted to burn them all.

  • I desperately rummaged through the pile and saved the camera, holding it tightly to my chest.

  • I burned myself in the process.

  • 09:23

  • Chapter 10

  • From then on, the camera became the only thing left of my mom.

  • Later, my younger sister was born.

  • The love and attention of the whole family shifted to her.

  • I grew up as if invisible, turning eighteen without anyone noticing.

  • college to study

  • my dad handed me

  • now. Don’t come back.”

  • and counted it–30,000

  • blood ties

  • teachers and classmates praised me for being

  • that I could stay calm no

  • started working, this became

  • I knew–I was too

  • ང་ད

  • the day of

  • have abandoned me?

  • the years, I’ve grown used

  • I ever laughed freely again or shed tears

  • something even more

  • this point, I let out a small sigh.

  • long,

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  • 54.9%

  • Chapter 10

  • at the corners of his lips had disappeared.

  • was unusually

  • have you forgotten? You were only five years old at

  • a little

  • “Crying and laughing are a child’s

  • suppressing yourself because no one

  • voice was soft, but it struck me

  • funeral, my dad stopped speaking to

  • was born, my needs were always pushed aside.

  • studies

  • realized there wasn’t a single moment when I had been cared

  • on, so I understood that

  • bury them

  • my head, I said

  • now. It’s impossible

  • I want to laugh, or cry

  • speaking, a sudden jolt ran through my ribs, like a mild electric shock.

  • strange yelp and turned to look.

  • Joseph poking my side.

  • playful smile, he said, “Who says it’s impossible?”

  • to dodge, but

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  • of Velvet

  • Chapter 10

  • on my waist–I couldn’t stop laughing, no matter how hard I tried

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