• Chapter 10

  • Chapter 10

  • Perhaps it was because he first shared his family stories so openly that I found it easier to speak.

  • Hesitating, I said,

  • “My mom passed away, and my dad, like yours, cut ties with me.”

  • That year, at my mom’s funeral, a sea of people came, all dressed in black.

  • The master of ceremonies gave a long eulogy, but I couldn’t fully understand it. My mind wandered midway.

  • I remember looking at my mom’s photo, where she seemed to smile at me, and I smiled back.

  • The next second, I was slapped to the ground by my father.

  • He roared, “Your mom’s dead! How can you still smile?”

  • Everyone turned to look at me as if I were some kind of monster.

  • In that moment, I was terrified.

  • Tears welled in my eyes, but I bit my lips and didn’t dare make a sound.

  • In the first year after my mom’s passing, my dad often sat in the living room at night, flipping through her letters and photos.

  • By the second year, he had packed her belongings into a few boxes and pushed them into a dusty

  • corner.

  • By the third year, he had remarried.

  • The new stepmom dumped the boxes into the yard, saying she wanted to burn them all.

  • I desperately rummaged through the pile and saved the camera, holding it tightly to my chest.

  • I burned myself in the process.

  • 09:23

  • Chapter 10

  • From then on, the camera became the only thing left of my mom.

  • Later, my younger sister was born.

  • The love and attention of the whole family shifted to her.

  • I grew up as if invisible, turning eighteen without anyone noticing.

  • college to study medicine.

  • the day of enrollment, my dad handed me a thick stack

  • adult now. Don’t come

  • counted it–30,000 yuan.

  • severed the blood ties between us.

  • teachers and classmates praised me for

  • stay calm no matter the

  • started working, this

  • I knew–I was too scared

  • ང་ད

  • if, on the day of the funeral, I hadn’t

  • he still have

  • grown used

  • that if I ever laughed freely again or shed tears

  • something

  • I let out a

  • long, had never

  • 09:23

  • of

  • 54.9%

  • Chapter 10

  • deeply. The usual faint smile at the corners

  • was unusually

  • only

  • a little puzzled. “What?”

  • laughing are a child’s privilege.

  • one

  • voice was soft, but it struck me

  • funeral, my dad stopped speaking to

  • when my sister was born, my needs were always pushed

  • juggle my studies and find ways

  • single moment when I had been cared

  • on, so I understood that

  • better to bury them deep inside.

  • head, I said bitterly,

  • now. It’s impossible to

  • laugh when I want to laugh, or cry when I want to

  • ran through

  • out a strange

  • Joseph poking my

  • playful smile, he said, “Who

  • to dodge, but

  • 09:23

  • 0%

  • of Velvet

  • Chapter 10

  • stop

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