The Trap Of Ace

Read The Trap Of Ace [by Eva Zahan] Chapter 67 – Ace’s POV

“He was m******d by his own son. I k****d him.”

I watched her silently as she froze in her place. With her Turquoise eyes wide in shock, her lips parted. The color of her face drained the moment she heard those words left my mouth. The truth I had been hiding in the deepest corner of my memories. The ugliest and darkest truth of my life I never wanted to reveal before her.

She kept quiet. Only unbearable silence echoed throughout the hall. Other than shock and disbelief, I couldn’t read a single emotion on her beautiful face. Because there was none.

I inhaled deep. The same ominous feeling was rising up my chest again, choking me in its vicious grip. Clenching my fists, I ignored the pain that shot through my heart.

“Emerald,” her name sneaked out as a whisper through my lips. “Say something.”

She didn’t. She just stood there, staring at me with tears glistening her eyes.

I turned around from her. Deep labored breathing came out of me. My hands shook at my sides. The pain in my heart only soared high that it physically pained.

I knew it. I knew she was going to hate me. After knowing what a monster I was, she could never love me the way she did. She could never stay with a m******r. A m******r who k****d his own father.

I clutched my chest, as if trying not to fall apart or destroy something. This fear, this fear of losing her didn’t let me sleep for years. Once I let her go because I didn’t deserve her time and love. I let go of her not only because I was a d**g addict and I didn’t think I had a future, but also because I knew that my past wouldn’t let me live freely so easily. It’d always follow me everywhere I go. I knew a monster like me didn’t deserve a flower like her.

But I was too selfish to stay away for long. Her absence in my life was ruining me. The thought of those Turquoise eyes not looking at me with full of love and adoration, not hearing my name from her sweet angelic voice, not watching her blushing because of me and not hearing her giggles drove me insane. It still did.

That’s why I didn’t want to tell her. I decided to keep my past miles away from her so that it never could be a hindrance in my path of keeping her in my life.

But… but she deserved the truth. She deserved to know everything about me before I bound her to me for the rest of our life. I couldn’t keep her in any more darkness.

She promised to never let go…

But who could love a m******r?

“I…” I gulped, rubbing my chest to soothe the b**n. “I know you must be hating me now. I- I know I don’t deserve you. You deserve a normal,” I took a deep breath, to even think of her being with another man made my blood boil, “man. A normal man with a normal easy life. Not a man with a tainted past. Not a man who k****d his father and was a d**g addict. But…I love you, Rosebud,” whispering, I clenched my fists, trying my best not to pull her into the cage of my arms and lock her there forever. So that she couldn’t leave me.

I wouldn’t survive without her.

“I’m too selfish to let you go. I can’t function without you. I can’t…”

A pair of petite arms wrapped around my torso from behind. I felt her pressing her cheek against my back.

“I’ll not leave even if you wanted me to. I can never,” she said.

As if a sudden light lightening my dark insides, the pain in my chest disappeared. Replaced a feel of desperation to hear those words again and relief.

I turned around, cupping her cheeks. “You- you won’t leave me? That means, you don’t hate…”

She shook her head. Her beautiful eyes watched me with the same love and adoration they did for years, not a trace of hate was there as I expected.

“Never. I can never hate you. Even if you were wrong, I couldn’t hate you. I’d always love you.”

I frowned in confusion. “I know I can’t let you go, but aren’t you disgusted with me? I…” I gritted my teeth. “I’m a m******r. A monster, Emerald. You don’t need to lie to me not to upset me. I can understand if you think you need time…”

“You’re not a monster.” She cut me off, voice firm. “Nor you’re a m******r.”

I shook my head. “Maybe you didn’t hear what I said. I k****d him, Emerald. His blood was in my hand.”

“It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t k**l him. It was an accident,” she said softly.

placed herself on my lap. My arms pulled her

guilty for his d***h. But it’s not your fault, baby. It wasn’t your fault he died. It

I just told this woman my darkest past, my crime, the deed I have been blaming myself for years, and she still wasn’t repulsed by me. Instead

gulped the thickness of my throat, clutching her to me tightly. “You really don’t

disgusted by a man who had enough courage to stand before a gun for his mother. And you were just seventeen then. I don’t think everyone at that

neck. She ran her soft hands through my locks as I took a lungful of her sweet scent. She didn’t know what she had

than to

Her hug tightened. “Never.”

inside me calming down. She won’t leave me. My Rosebud will

again, desperately held her against me tightly.

baby,” she murmured, rubbing my back soothingly. “I know whatever happened was unfortunate, but stop blaming yourself for that. I know, you didn’t want to tell me about your past because you thought I’d hate you. Because you thought you were a m******r, you were

jaw clenched at

insistence not to leave the gun. So how was that your

know what I did, I did it for Mom. But…that memory, Rosebud, that memory doesn’t leave me alone. His blood in my hands, the way his lifeless eyes stared at me after…” I clenched my fists as recollection of that night flashed over my eyes. “The thought that maybe if I had handled things in a different way, maybe if I could do something else other than fighting him, he would be alive, our wrestling wouldn’t cause the trigger to go off. I wouldn’t have to take the burden of

at that moment. You did what you felt right. Tell me one thing,” she made me look

replied,

right. You saved your mother from your father. Anyone who loved their mother and has courage would do that sane thing you did. That doesn’t make you a m******r. It wasn’t your fault. It was his fault that he

just stared

lucky to get her in my life? I was thinking she would leave me once she got to know everything. And here she was, providing light and warmth to my darkness. She was my sun that kept the demons of

leaned in and wiped my cheek with

knuckles. “I

too,” she

by saying those words.

you for trusting me with your

have the courage. I thought even if you would forgive me after knowing about seven years ago, you would hate me forever if you got to know about it. So I backed out and

I think you weren’t at fault now, I would think the same then. Maybe if you had told me that night, I’d have found your reasons behind pushing me away stronger. Maybe I’d have forgiven

chest again.

into my chest. “Was it the reason

how bad of a person he was, I still couldn’t forget that he was my father. And no matter the reason was, somehow he died because of me. And I couldn’t deal with that feeling, Rosebud. After that night, Mom went into depression. She was broken. She blamed herself for his d***h and my status. She thought if she hadn’t reacted that way that night, if she hadn’t pulled that gun out, nothing would’ve happened. She completely pulled away

be missing for days, drinking and staying out of the home. And it continued until she finally stopped fighting her grief and decided to leave this place,

hand ran over my chest in a small slow

all of this?” she

up at the side into a small sad smile. “He became the eldest

forever grateful to him for that,” she

I did need her the most. But I

down at her. “It was you why I tried my

kissing my chest. “I’m glad

was. There wasn’t any kind of addiction I hadn’t tried. I once even almost overdosed myself.” She gasped, shocked at my words. I squeezed her hands. “But thank G*d, I’m out of that h**l now. And all of it because you were constantly in

wrapped her arms around my neck and placed her head back into my

were, baby. You

she asked, “When did you

the fireplace. “Right after you left for

were in the UK at that time for your degree…” Then realization set on her face as her eyes widened. “So, you went to the UK for Rehab and not to take any

“No. I went there to get better. After Arthur returned, he started to handle the company well as mom was always absent. Then he suggested that I should go to the UK for my treatment, he had a friend who could help me.

sat up straight. “Dad? He

tucked a strand behind

head tilted at the side. “Everything, as

the police away from me and used his influence to make everything look that it was a

eyes

to seek help from. Mom went into shock to do anything. So I called your father and he rushed to my place immediately. After listening to everything I had to say, he placed a hand on my shoulder and said to leave everything