The Trap Of Ace

Read The Trap Of Ace [by Eva Zahan] Chapter 67 – Ace’s POV

“He was m******d by his own son. I k****d him.”

I watched her silently as she froze in her place. With her Turquoise eyes wide in shock, her lips parted. The color of her face drained the moment she heard those words left my mouth. The truth I had been hiding in the deepest corner of my memories. The ugliest and darkest truth of my life I never wanted to reveal before her.

She kept quiet. Only unbearable silence echoed throughout the hall. Other than shock and disbelief, I couldn’t read a single emotion on her beautiful face. Because there was none.

I inhaled deep. The same ominous feeling was rising up my chest again, choking me in its vicious grip. Clenching my fists, I ignored the pain that shot through my heart.

“Emerald,” her name sneaked out as a whisper through my lips. “Say something.”

She didn’t. She just stood there, staring at me with tears glistening her eyes.

I turned around from her. Deep labored breathing came out of me. My hands shook at my sides. The pain in my heart only soared high that it physically pained.

I knew it. I knew she was going to hate me. After knowing what a monster I was, she could never love me the way she did. She could never stay with a m******r. A m******r who k****d his own father.

I clutched my chest, as if trying not to fall apart or destroy something. This fear, this fear of losing her didn’t let me sleep for years. Once I let her go because I didn’t deserve her time and love. I let go of her not only because I was a d**g addict and I didn’t think I had a future, but also because I knew that my past wouldn’t let me live freely so easily. It’d always follow me everywhere I go. I knew a monster like me didn’t deserve a flower like her.

But I was too selfish to stay away for long. Her absence in my life was ruining me. The thought of those Turquoise eyes not looking at me with full of love and adoration, not hearing my name from her sweet angelic voice, not watching her blushing because of me and not hearing her giggles drove me insane. It still did.

That’s why I didn’t want to tell her. I decided to keep my past miles away from her so that it never could be a hindrance in my path of keeping her in my life.

But… but she deserved the truth. She deserved to know everything about me before I bound her to me for the rest of our life. I couldn’t keep her in any more darkness.

She promised to never let go…

But who could love a m******r?

“I…” I gulped, rubbing my chest to soothe the b**n. “I know you must be hating me now. I- I know I don’t deserve you. You deserve a normal,” I took a deep breath, to even think of her being with another man made my blood boil, “man. A normal man with a normal easy life. Not a man with a tainted past. Not a man who k****d his father and was a d**g addict. But…I love you, Rosebud,” whispering, I clenched my fists, trying my best not to pull her into the cage of my arms and lock her there forever. So that she couldn’t leave me.

I wouldn’t survive without her.

“I’m too selfish to let you go. I can’t function without you. I can’t…”

A pair of petite arms wrapped around my torso from behind. I felt her pressing her cheek against my back.

“I’ll not leave even if you wanted me to. I can never,” she said.

As if a sudden light lightening my dark insides, the pain in my chest disappeared. Replaced a feel of desperation to hear those words again and relief.

I turned around, cupping her cheeks. “You- you won’t leave me? That means, you don’t hate…”

She shook her head. Her beautiful eyes watched me with the same love and adoration they did for years, not a trace of hate was there as I expected.

“Never. I can never hate you. Even if you were wrong, I couldn’t hate you. I’d always love you.”

I frowned in confusion. “I know I can’t let you go, but aren’t you disgusted with me? I…” I gritted my teeth. “I’m a m******r. A monster, Emerald. You don’t need to lie to me not to upset me. I can understand if you think you need time…”

“You’re not a monster.” She cut me off, voice firm. “Nor you’re a m******r.”

I shook my head. “Maybe you didn’t hear what I said. I k****d him, Emerald. His blood was in my hand.”

“It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t k**l him. It was an accident,” she said softly.

my hands, she made me sit on the couch and placed herself on my lap. My arms pulled her

that incident, you feel guilty for his d***h. But it’s not your

stared at her, utterly appalled. I just told this woman my darkest past, my crime, the deed I have been blaming myself for years, and she still wasn’t repulsed by

gulped the thickness of my throat, clutching her to me tightly. “You really don’t hate me? You- you aren’t disgusted by

my soul. “Why would I if it wasn’t your fault? I can never hate you for the crime you never did. I can never feel disgusted by a man who had enough courage to stand before a gun

a breath, I pulled her into me, placing my head at the crook of her neck. She ran her soft hands through my locks as I took a lungful of her sweet scent. She didn’t know what she had said. She didn’t know what favor she had done to me by saying those words. The fear of her leaving me was

more to myself than to her. I needed to hear it out

Her hug tightened. “Never.”

calming down. She won’t leave me. My Rosebud will

her in again, desperately held her against me tightly. And

Because you thought you were a m******r, you were guilty. But you’re not. You were just trying to snatch that gun from him so that he couldn’t hurt your mom. But he didn’t let you. He was in a trance of anger and hatred. If you hadn’t

clenched at

his insistence not to leave the gun. So

His blood in my hands, the way his lifeless eyes stared at me after…” I clenched my fists as recollection of that night flashed over my eyes. “The thought that maybe if I had handled things in a different way, maybe if I could do something else other than fighting him, he would be alive, our wrestling wouldn’t cause the trigger to go off. I wouldn’t have to take the burden of

did what you felt right.

I replied,

Anyone who loved their mother and has courage would do that sane thing you did. That doesn’t make you a m******r. It wasn’t your fault. It was his fault that he didn’t let go of the

stared at

so lucky to get her in my life? I was thinking she would leave me once she got to know everything. And here she was, providing light and warmth to

eyes as she leaned in and wiped my cheek with her thumb. A tear I hadn’t realized that slipped

kissed her knuckles. “I

too,” she

done to me by saying those words. Thank you…for not giving up on me. For not leaving me. I don’t know

you for trusting me

didn’t have the courage. I thought even if you would forgive me after knowing about seven years ago, you would hate me forever if you got to

the same then. Maybe if you had told me that night, I’d have found your reasons

pulled her into my chest again. “I was scared. I can tolerate anything but

it the reason behind

into depression. She was broken. She blamed herself for his d***h and my status. She thought if she hadn’t reacted that way that night, if she hadn’t pulled that gun out, nothing would’ve happened. She completely pulled away from us, from life. And it just pushed me

days, drinking and staying out of the

chest in

take all

he was shaken just as we were. But then slowly, he got better.” My lips turned up at the side into a small sad smile. “He became the

him

I needed her the most. Yes, I did need her the most. But

it was only you I didn’t lose hope, do you?” I looked down at her. “It was you

glad I could help in some

was. There wasn’t any kind of addiction I hadn’t tried. I once even almost overdosed myself.” She gasped, shocked at my words. I squeezed

her arms around my neck and placed her head back into my chest, hugging me closer. “I wish I could be there

kissed her head. “You were, baby. You were always there with me, in

silence, she asked, “When

gazed into the fireplace. “Right after you left for

chest. “But you were in the UK at that time for your degree…” Then realization set on her face as her eyes widened. “So, you went to

“No. I went there to get better. After Arthur returned, he started to handle the company well as mom was always absent. Then he suggested that I should go to the UK for my treatment, he had a

sat up straight. “Dad? He knew about your

tucked a strand behind her ear.

tilted at the side. “Everything, as

kept the police away from

eyes wide

I called your father and he rushed to my place immediately. After listening to everything I had to say, he placed a hand on my shoulder and said to leave everything on him. He will handle everything,” I said, remembering the way he had reassured me like a