The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn

Chapter 42

The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn Chapter 42

~ATTICUS~

Was this what it felt like to go into complete shock? Many things in my life have surprised me, but hearing Autumn say to me that she’d loved me all along has made my entire body numb from shock.

She loved me?

Autumn loved me? And she’s loved me for years?

My mind is racing with all of the things she’s mentioned to me. She saw me first; she fell for me. She wanted me before Anya even did. How did I not know any of this? How could I have been so blind?

Since the beginning, I thought Autumn didn’t have any feelings at all for me. When we got married, I felt that my actions wouldn’t have hurt her because neither of us had feelings for each other. Now that I knew she loved me for so long, I understood the pain I’d put her through. I understood the damage I’d done without even realizing it.

I’ve been breaking her heart for years without even knowing it. I covered my face with my hand as I tried to come to terms with everything. I was unable to move, my body felt like it was glued to the bed. Nothing has ever managed to stun me as much as this had.

She wanted to marry me from the beginning. She’s dreamt of having a family with me. Autumn loved me this entire time, me, and only me. She didn’t want anyone else but me. I was the one that she wanted. So then, why had she flirted with Tyler? It was the first time I’d ever seen her flirt like that with anyone but me. It was something I never wanted to have to see again. My heart couldn’t handle seeing Autumn be with another man but me.

Damn it.

She loved me.

What the f**k?

What was wrong with me?

Why did I do so many things to hurt her? Why did I put Anya above her so many times? I knew she had to come first, even before finding out she was in love with me, and yet I didn’t treat her the way she had to be treated.

Was there any word to describe me?

I’ve been a complete ass; why did she even love someone like me? I did not deserve her love. I never deserved her love.

I knew that I had to go after her; I knew that I had to say something, anything. She’d run out of here crying, and I’d done nothing to stop her because of how much her words had affected me.

But what could I say to her? She made it clear that she was not ready to accept me after what I’d done. I’d hurt her so much that she’d built a wall around her heart.

I couldn’t just beg for her forgiveness. I had to show her that I had changed. I had to show her that she was the most important person in my life.

feelings toward her, but it was forced out of me today. I’ve been avoiding thinking about it,

how she did it, but she was brave and fierce as

wasn’t proud of her, but because I was terrified of seeing her get hurt for me. The entire time on the ground, I felt like a useless ass; I couldn’t even fight to

to that. I should have been able to bring

me. I was terrified that they would hurt her. I’d never been so scared over something in my entire

me. Autumn and her feelings and how she made me feel it all scared me. I wasn’t prepared for her; I wasn’t prepared for her confession, either. She was correct; I was the one who’d asked her to tell me the truth but not once did

spoken, the worse I felt. There were so many mistakes that I’ve made since we got

spring. She remembered everything. Every single detail even though she had been drunk when it

seed. I wanted every part of her that night; I wanted it

because I felt like I didn’t deserve that sacred part of her. I felt like she needed to trust me enough before she gave that part of herself to me. I wanted

the start. She wanted Autumn to think that I didn’t care for her. I was stupid when I said those things to her; I was foolish when I made promises I knew

me to show Autumn how much I truly desired her. To prove to her that all those things I promised Anya in the voice note were a mistake

pain and torture on my face? I wanted her so much that it f*****g hurt. I hadn’t been able to sleep peacefully since that night; every night, I would ache to be inside her. Every night I would deny myself the pleasure of touching her because I thought that she wasn’t ready. If I’d known not touching her would have made her feel less desired, I would have taken

would understand the pain she put me through. She would know that Anya had nothing to do with me not touching her on those separate occasions. I was only thinking about her; I was only doing what I thought was best

see how much I’d been hurting her all along? Now that I knew the truth, there were so many things I wish I had done differently. There were so many ways I could have shown her how much

to her, if I didn’t try to stop my feelings for her, things wouldn’t have been like this between us. She wouldn’t have had to doubt me as much as she

so much? I felt like punching the walls. I felt like doing anything to inflict pain upon myself for everything I’d

worried expressions. I can’t pay attention to any of them right

herself this entire time. She’s been tortured all this time, and she chose

the realization of what

long was she planning on keeping this to herself? She wouldn’t have told me

left crying. Did

how stupid I’d been not to notice how much she loved me. All of the signs were always there; I just chose to ignore them. Autumn wasn’t good at hiding her feelings, but I wasn’t any better at

not to read it. I’ve never been this disappointed in myself

“Is everything okay between you and Autumn?

to be here while he was lying in this hospital bed. She went home to look for clothes. Who does that when their husband is in so much pain? Atticus was right to put her in her place.

up to her. Even he realizes

truth. Autumn does not care for Atticus. She’s selfish and only cares for herself. Look at the way we found him on the side of the road, but there wasn’t a single scratch on her. It shows that she didn’t care enough to

f*****g talk about my wife like that!”

like that before. But she’d asked for it. She had no right speaking about Autumn like that. She didn’t know anything. She knew nothing about Autumn and the type of

you defending her when she doesn’t care about

it,” I growl.

you believe she cares for you.”

boys came to attack me?” I ask her. “Did you see the entire fight to make a foolish comment

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