The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn

Chapter 42

The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn Chapter 42

~ATTICUS~

Was this what it felt like to go into complete shock? Many things in my life have surprised me, but hearing Autumn say to me that she’d loved me all along has made my entire body numb from shock.

She loved me?

Autumn loved me? And she’s loved me for years?

My mind is racing with all of the things she’s mentioned to me. She saw me first; she fell for me. She wanted me before Anya even did. How did I not know any of this? How could I have been so blind?

Since the beginning, I thought Autumn didn’t have any feelings at all for me. When we got married, I felt that my actions wouldn’t have hurt her because neither of us had feelings for each other. Now that I knew she loved me for so long, I understood the pain I’d put her through. I understood the damage I’d done without even realizing it.

I’ve been breaking her heart for years without even knowing it. I covered my face with my hand as I tried to come to terms with everything. I was unable to move, my body felt like it was glued to the bed. Nothing has ever managed to stun me as much as this had.

She wanted to marry me from the beginning. She’s dreamt of having a family with me. Autumn loved me this entire time, me, and only me. She didn’t want anyone else but me. I was the one that she wanted. So then, why had she flirted with Tyler? It was the first time I’d ever seen her flirt like that with anyone but me. It was something I never wanted to have to see again. My heart couldn’t handle seeing Autumn be with another man but me.

Damn it.

She loved me.

What the f**k?

What was wrong with me?

Why did I do so many things to hurt her? Why did I put Anya above her so many times? I knew she had to come first, even before finding out she was in love with me, and yet I didn’t treat her the way she had to be treated.

Was there any word to describe me?

I’ve been a complete ass; why did she even love someone like me? I did not deserve her love. I never deserved her love.

I knew that I had to go after her; I knew that I had to say something, anything. She’d run out of here crying, and I’d done nothing to stop her because of how much her words had affected me.

But what could I say to her? She made it clear that she was not ready to accept me after what I’d done. I’d hurt her so much that she’d built a wall around her heart.

I couldn’t just beg for her forgiveness. I had to show her that I had changed. I had to show her that she was the most important person in my life.

taken the time to think about my feelings toward her, but it was forced out of me today. I’ve been avoiding thinking about it, but

did it, but she was brave and fierce

for me. The entire time on the ground, I felt like a useless ass; I couldn’t even fight to protect her. She

that. I should have been able to

terrified that they would hurt her. I’d never been so scared over something in my entire

her confession, either. She was correct; I was the one who’d asked

my head. The more she’d spoken, the worse I felt. There were so many mistakes that I’ve made since we got married. So many mistakes could have

up what happened between us at the spring. She remembered everything. Every single detail even though she had been

against mine. To savor every taste of her, to fill her with my seed. I wanted every part of her that night; I wanted it all, even last night when she teased me in that tiny lingerie. It took all of my self-control

but because I felt like I didn’t deserve that sacred part of her. I felt like she needed to trust me enough before she gave

to think that I didn’t care for her. I was

all those things I promised Anya in the voice note were a mistake and something I would never do to

I truly craved her. I hadn’t exactly hidden my desire for her. Every time I was near her, I lost all control. I could see the vision I still had of Autumn spreading her legs for me on the edge of the spring, teasing me, making me die inside for her. Did she not see the pain and torture on my face? I wanted her so much that it f*****g hurt. I hadn’t been able to sleep peacefully since that night; every night, I would ache to be inside her. Every night I would deny myself the pleasure of touching her because I thought that she wasn’t ready. If I’d known not touching her would have made her feel less desired, I would have taken her right then in the damn

She would know that Anya had nothing to do with me not touching her on those separate occasions. I was only thinking about her; I

Now that I knew the truth, there were so many things I wish I had done differently. There were so many

to her, if I didn’t try to stop my feelings for her, things wouldn’t have been like this between us. She wouldn’t

the f**k did you do? Why? Why did you hurt her so much? I felt like punching

I see my family walking in with worried expressions. I can’t pay attention to any of them right now. Autumn is

entire time. She’s been tortured all this time, and she chose

my eyes as the realization of what I’d put

on keeping this to herself? She wouldn’t have

something happen?” Clarissa asks me. “Autumn left crying. Did

much she loved me. All of

not to read it.

everything okay between you and Autumn? Should we get

lying in this hospital bed. She went home to look for clothes. Who does that when their husband is in so much pain? Atticus was right to put her in her place. She needs to

in a warning. For once, he’d stepped up to her.

at the way we found him on the side of the road, but there wasn’t a single scratch on her. It

my wife like that!” I

she’d asked for it. She had no right speaking about Autumn like that. She didn’t know anything. She knew nothing about Autumn

Why are you defending her when she doesn’t care about you? I can

growl. “You

please explain why you believe she

you there when Carter and the other boys came to attack me?” I ask her. “Did you see the entire fight to make a foolish comment

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