The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn

Chapter 42

The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn Chapter 42

~ATTICUS~

Was this what it felt like to go into complete shock? Many things in my life have surprised me, but hearing Autumn say to me that she’d loved me all along has made my entire body numb from shock.

She loved me?

Autumn loved me? And she’s loved me for years?

My mind is racing with all of the things she’s mentioned to me. She saw me first; she fell for me. She wanted me before Anya even did. How did I not know any of this? How could I have been so blind?

Since the beginning, I thought Autumn didn’t have any feelings at all for me. When we got married, I felt that my actions wouldn’t have hurt her because neither of us had feelings for each other. Now that I knew she loved me for so long, I understood the pain I’d put her through. I understood the damage I’d done without even realizing it.

I’ve been breaking her heart for years without even knowing it. I covered my face with my hand as I tried to come to terms with everything. I was unable to move, my body felt like it was glued to the bed. Nothing has ever managed to stun me as much as this had.

She wanted to marry me from the beginning. She’s dreamt of having a family with me. Autumn loved me this entire time, me, and only me. She didn’t want anyone else but me. I was the one that she wanted. So then, why had she flirted with Tyler? It was the first time I’d ever seen her flirt like that with anyone but me. It was something I never wanted to have to see again. My heart couldn’t handle seeing Autumn be with another man but me.

Damn it.

She loved me.

What the f**k?

What was wrong with me?

Why did I do so many things to hurt her? Why did I put Anya above her so many times? I knew she had to come first, even before finding out she was in love with me, and yet I didn’t treat her the way she had to be treated.

Was there any word to describe me?

I’ve been a complete ass; why did she even love someone like me? I did not deserve her love. I never deserved her love.

I knew that I had to go after her; I knew that I had to say something, anything. She’d run out of here crying, and I’d done nothing to stop her because of how much her words had affected me.

But what could I say to her? She made it clear that she was not ready to accept me after what I’d done. I’d hurt her so much that she’d built a wall around her heart.

I couldn’t just beg for her forgiveness. I had to show her that I had changed. I had to show her that she was the most important person in my life.

to me. I’ve never taken the time to think about my feelings toward her, but it was forced out of me today. I’ve been

I don’t know how she did it, but she was brave and fierce as she stood

get hurt for me. The

never have come to that. I should have been able to bring Carter and his team to the ground for

of me. I was terrified that they would hurt her. I’d never

for her; I wasn’t prepared for her confession, either. She was correct; I was the one who’d asked her to tell me the

head. The more she’d spoken, the worse I felt. There were so many mistakes that I’ve made since we got married. So many mistakes could have been avoided if I’d just taken

even brought up what happened between us at the spring. She remembered everything. Every single detail even though she had been

was f*****g dying inside to feel her body against mine. To savor every taste of her, to fill her with my seed. I wanted every part of her that night; I wanted it all, even last night when she teased me in that tiny lingerie. It took

sacred part of her. I felt like she needed to trust me

was understandable after the voice note Anya had sent to her. And maybe that was Anya’s intention from the start. She wanted Autumn to think that I didn’t care for her. I was stupid when I said those things to her; I was foolish when I made promises I knew I could never

that all those things I promised Anya in the voice note were a mistake

that it f*****g hurt. I hadn’t been able to sleep peacefully since that night; every night, I would ache to be inside her. Every night I would deny myself the pleasure of touching her because I thought that she wasn’t ready. If I’d known not touching her would have made

she put me through. She would know that Anya had nothing to do with me not touching her on those

the truth, there were so many things I wish I had

I didn’t try to stop my feelings for her, things wouldn’t have been like this between us. She wouldn’t have had to doubt me as much as

did you do? Why? Why did you hurt her so much? I felt like punching the walls. I felt like doing anything to inflict pain upon myself for

family walking in with worried expressions. I can’t pay attention to any of

entire time. She’s

as the realization of what I’d put her through finally sunk

on keeping this to herself? She wouldn’t have told me if I hadn’t pulled it out of her. If I hadn’t insisted on her giving me an answer, I would have never known how

happen?” Clarissa asks me. “Autumn left crying. Did you

was still lost in my thoughts of her. I couldn’t believe how stupid I’d been not to notice how much she loved me. All of the signs were always there; I just chose to ignore them. Autumn wasn’t good at hiding her feelings, but I wasn’t any better at picking up on

chose not to read it. I’ve never been

okay between you and Autumn? Should we

was lying in this hospital bed. She went home to look for clothes. Who does that when their husband is in so much pain? Atticus was right to put her

warning. For once, he’d stepped up to her. Even he realizes that she’d just crossed a

way we found him on the side of the road, but there wasn’t

f*****g talk about my wife like

once spoken to her like that before. But she’d asked for it. She had no right speaking about Autumn like that. She didn’t know anything. She knew nothing about Autumn and the

trying to protect you. Why are you defending her when she doesn’t care about you? I can see it; I’m sure everyone else can

growl. “You know

believe she cares for you.” She

the other boys came to attack me?” I ask her. “Did

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