The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn

The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn Chapter 42

~ATTICUS~

Was this what it felt like to go into complete shock? Many things in my life have surprised me, but hearing Autumn say to me that she’d loved me all along has made my entire body numb from shock.

She loved me?

Autumn loved me? And she’s loved me for years?

My mind is racing with all of the things she’s mentioned to me. She saw me first; she fell for me. She wanted me before Anya even did. How did I not know any of this? How could I have been so blind?

Since the beginning, I thought Autumn didn’t have any feelings at all for me. When we got married, I felt that my actions wouldn’t have hurt her because neither of us had feelings for each other. Now that I knew she loved me for so long, I understood the pain I’d put her through. I understood the damage I’d done without even realizing it.

I’ve been breaking her heart for years without even knowing it. I covered my face with my hand as I tried to come to terms with everything. I was unable to move, my body felt like it was glued to the bed. Nothing has ever managed to stun me as much as this had.

She wanted to marry me from the beginning. She’s dreamt of having a family with me. Autumn loved me this entire time, me, and only me. She didn’t want anyone else but me. I was the one that she wanted. So then, why had she flirted with Tyler? It was the first time I’d ever seen her flirt like that with anyone but me. It was something I never wanted to have to see again. My heart couldn’t handle seeing Autumn be with another man but me.

Damn it.

She loved me.

What the f**k?

What was wrong with me?

Why did I do so many things to hurt her? Why did I put Anya above her so many times? I knew she had to come first, even before finding out she was in love with me, and yet I didn’t treat her the way she had to be treated.

Was there any word to describe me?

I’ve been a complete ass; why did she even love someone like me? I did not deserve her love. I never deserved her love.

I knew that I had to go after her; I knew that I had to say something, anything. She’d run out of here crying, and I’d done nothing to stop her because of how much her words had affected me.

But what could I say to her? She made it clear that she was not ready to accept me after what I’d done. I’d hurt her so much that she’d built a wall around her heart.

I couldn’t just beg for her forgiveness. I had to show her that I had changed. I had to show her that she was the most important person in my life.

never taken the time to think about my feelings toward her, but it was forced out of me today. I’ve been avoiding thinking about

me today. I don’t know how she did it, but she was brave and fierce as she stood in front of me while she challenged

I was terrified of seeing her get hurt for me. The entire time on the ground,

able to bring Carter and his

front of me. I was terrified that they would hurt her. I’d never been so scared

wasn’t prepared for her; I wasn’t prepared for her confession, either. She was correct; I was the one who’d

more she’d spoken, the worse I felt. There were so many mistakes that I’ve made since we got married. So many mistakes could have been avoided if I’d just taken the time to see what my

what happened between us at the spring. She remembered everything. Every single detail even though she had been drunk when

was f*****g dying inside to feel her body against mine. To savor every taste of her, to fill her with my seed. I wanted every part of her that night; I wanted it all, even last night when she teased me in that tiny lingerie. It took

of her. I felt like she needed to trust me enough before she gave that part of herself to me. I wanted to cherish her the

the voice note Anya had sent to her. And maybe that was Anya’s intention from the start. She wanted Autumn to think

show Autumn how much I truly desired her. To prove to her that all those things I promised Anya in

Every time I was near her, I lost all control. I could see the vision I still had of Autumn spreading her legs for me on the edge of the spring, teasing me, making me die inside for her. Did she not see the pain and torture on my face? I wanted her so much that it f*****g hurt. I hadn’t been able to sleep peacefully since that night; every night, I would ache to be inside her. Every night I would deny myself the pleasure of touching her because I thought that she wasn’t ready. If I’d known not touching her would have made her feel less desired, I would have taken her right then in the damn f*****g spring. I would have had her in every

to do with me not touching her on those separate occasions. I was only thinking about her; I was only doing what I thought was best for

see how much I’d been hurting her all along? Now that I knew the truth, there were so many things I wish I had done

I’d shown my raw emotions to her, if I didn’t try to stop my feelings for her, things wouldn’t have been like this between us. She wouldn’t have

so much? I felt like punching the walls. I felt like doing anything to inflict pain upon myself for everything I’d put

I see my family walking in with worried expressions. I can’t pay attention

this entire time. She’s been tortured all this time, and she chose to bottle everything up inside of

realization of what I’d

someone that loved me so much? Autumn loved me more than anyone, and I didn’t even know it until now. How long was she planning on keeping this to herself? She wouldn’t have told me if I hadn’t pulled it out of her. If I hadn’t insisted on her giving me an answer, I would have never known how much Autumn

“Autumn left crying. Did you

thoughts of her. I couldn’t believe how stupid I’d been not to notice how much she loved me. All of the signs were always there;

not to read it. I’ve never been this disappointed in myself as I

between you and Autumn?

does that when their husband is in so much pain? Atticus was right to put her in her place. She needs to give him some space and let

growls in a warning. For once, he’d stepped up to her. Even he realizes that she’d

selfish and only cares for herself. Look at the way we found him on the side of the road, but there wasn’t a single scratch on her. It shows that

my wife like that!” I

widened at my words. She looked startled that I’d spoken to her in that tone. I’ve never once spoken to her like that before. But she’d asked for it. She had no right speaking about Autumn like that. She didn’t know anything. She knew nothing about Autumn and

protect you. Why are you defending her when she doesn’t care about you? I can

I growl. “You know

explain why you believe she cares for you.”

ask her. “Did you see the entire fight to make a foolish comment