The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn

The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn Chapter 42

~ATTICUS~

Was this what it felt like to go into complete shock? Many things in my life have surprised me, but hearing Autumn say to me that she’d loved me all along has made my entire body numb from shock.

She loved me?

Autumn loved me? And she’s loved me for years?

My mind is racing with all of the things she’s mentioned to me. She saw me first; she fell for me. She wanted me before Anya even did. How did I not know any of this? How could I have been so blind?

Since the beginning, I thought Autumn didn’t have any feelings at all for me. When we got married, I felt that my actions wouldn’t have hurt her because neither of us had feelings for each other. Now that I knew she loved me for so long, I understood the pain I’d put her through. I understood the damage I’d done without even realizing it.

I’ve been breaking her heart for years without even knowing it. I covered my face with my hand as I tried to come to terms with everything. I was unable to move, my body felt like it was glued to the bed. Nothing has ever managed to stun me as much as this had.

She wanted to marry me from the beginning. She’s dreamt of having a family with me. Autumn loved me this entire time, me, and only me. She didn’t want anyone else but me. I was the one that she wanted. So then, why had she flirted with Tyler? It was the first time I’d ever seen her flirt like that with anyone but me. It was something I never wanted to have to see again. My heart couldn’t handle seeing Autumn be with another man but me.

Damn it.

She loved me.

What the f**k?

What was wrong with me?

Why did I do so many things to hurt her? Why did I put Anya above her so many times? I knew she had to come first, even before finding out she was in love with me, and yet I didn’t treat her the way she had to be treated.

Was there any word to describe me?

I’ve been a complete ass; why did she even love someone like me? I did not deserve her love. I never deserved her love.

I knew that I had to go after her; I knew that I had to say something, anything. She’d run out of here crying, and I’d done nothing to stop her because of how much her words had affected me.

But what could I say to her? She made it clear that she was not ready to accept me after what I’d done. I’d hurt her so much that she’d built a wall around her heart.

I couldn’t just beg for her forgiveness. I had to show her that I had changed. I had to show her that she was the most important person in my life.

important person to me. I’ve never taken the time to think about my feelings toward her, but it was forced out of me today. I’ve been avoiding thinking about it, but I

saved me today. I don’t know how she did it, but she was brave and fierce as she stood in front of me

not because I wasn’t proud of her, but because I was terrified of seeing her get hurt for me. The entire time on

able to bring Carter

scared when her wolf lunged in front of me. I was terrified that they would hurt her. I’d never been so scared over something in my entire

prepared for her; I wasn’t prepared for her confession, either. She was correct; I was the one who’d asked her to tell me

replaying in my head. The more she’d spoken, the worse I felt. There were so many mistakes that I’ve made since we

us at the spring. She remembered everything. Every single detail even though

feel her body against mine. To savor every taste of her, to fill her with my seed. I wanted every part of her that night; I wanted it all, even last night when she

I felt like I didn’t deserve that sacred part of her. I felt like she needed to trust me enough before she gave that part of herself to me. I wanted to cherish her the right way before I allowed myself to

to think that I didn’t care for her. I was stupid when I said those things to her; I was foolish when I made promises I knew

was up to me to show Autumn how much I truly desired her. To prove to her that all those things I promised Anya in the

still had of Autumn spreading her legs for me on the edge of the spring, teasing me, making me die inside for her. Did she not see the pain and torture on my face? I wanted her so much that it f*****g hurt. I hadn’t been able to sleep peacefully since that night; every night, I would ache to be inside her. Every night I would deny myself the pleasure of touching her because I thought that she wasn’t ready. If I’d known not touching her would have made her feel less desired, I would have taken her right then in the damn

the pain she put me through. She would know that Anya had nothing to do with me not touching her on those separate occasions.

how much I’d been hurting her all along? Now that I knew the truth, there were so many things I wish I had done differently. There were so many ways I could have shown

I didn’t try to stop my feelings for her, things wouldn’t have been

it, Atticus. What the f**k did you do? Why? Why did you hurt her so much? I felt like punching the walls. I felt like doing anything to inflict pain upon myself for everything I’d put her

in with worried expressions. I can’t pay attention to any of them right now. Autumn is the only person on my

to herself this entire time. She’s been tortured all this

as the realization of what I’d put her through

this entire time. How could I have mistreated someone that loved me so much? Autumn loved me more than anyone, and I didn’t even know it until now. How long was she planning on keeping this to herself? She wouldn’t have told me if I hadn’t pulled it out of her. If I hadn’t insisted on her giving me

happen?” Clarissa asks me. “Autumn left crying. Did you say something to

notice how much she loved me. All of the signs were always there; I just chose to ignore them.

was like an open book, and I chose not to read it. I’ve never been this disappointed

between you

that is necessary.” Anya cuts in. “She didn’t even care enough to be here while he was lying in this hospital bed. She went home to look for clothes. Who does that when their husband is in so much pain? Atticus was right

a warning. For once, he’d stepped up to her. Even

asks. “It’s the truth. Autumn does not care for Atticus. She’s selfish and only cares for herself. Look at the way we found him on the side of the road, but there wasn’t a single scratch on her. It shows that

f*****g talk about my wife

I’d spoken to her in that tone. I’ve never once spoken to her like that before. But she’d asked for it. She had no right speaking about Autumn like that. She didn’t know anything. She knew nothing about Autumn and the type of person that

are you defending her when she

growl. “You

why you believe she cares for you.”

you there when Carter and the other boys came to attack me?” I ask