Chapter 40

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*Merikh'

Colette laughs with her father as I sit in the far corner, watching as she wipes water from her blouse. She looks so happy and at ease as she manipulates the water, trying to get it to shake, rather than splash. Caspian Was thrilled when we arrived, his hands shaky as he tried to tamp down his smile, but it's glaringly obvious he is

excited.

If I didn't know that they were related, I would almost be jealous. Okay, that's a lie. I am jealous, but not of the relationship they are building. She looks at him with wonder and relief. It's like knowing a part of what she is, where she comes from, has brought to life a side of her I may never get to experience. All I get are side ways glances and the occasional scowl.

I mean, sure, when we are around the others I get to sneak little moments and convince myself she feels the same pull I do. It's damn hard holding her hand or kissing her shoulder knowing that to her it's an act. For me, it's a taste of what I screwed myself out of. Like an addict carrying in drug of choice in his pocket with never really being able to consume it.

It makes me itchy and irritable to be away from her emotionally. That barrier she keeps up. The damn thing slides into place the second our bedroom door closes. It goes from equator hot to arctic icy. And it's not like I know how to fix it. Apologizing is all I can do and swear I will never do it again, and that I have no more secrets, but what good is a promise if the person making it has proven they can't keep them?

I sigh heavily, fiddling with the bolting on the edging of the armchair, and then I look up, feeling a heavy gaze. She blinks at me, tilting her head and for a moment her brows furrow, like she might be worried about me. Then she seems to wake up and her eyes harden before she looks back at Caspian.

"I think that's enough for now. I have to admit, I'm tired now." She says. He gives her a soft smile and motions for *her to take a seat.

"Will you stay for dinner with me?" He asks, and she shakes her head.

"The amount of time we spend together will draw attention," I remind him, and he sighs knowingly.

"You have a point." then he looks between us. "Have you two discussed things yet?"

Colette chuckles dryly, looking at the shuttered window and shaking her head.

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"What is there to discuss?" She asks, and her words hit me in the gut. Is this how she felt every time I would refuse to hear her out? "Your mark." He says, giving her a pointed frown. "Or rather, the lack thereof."

"Caspian," she sighs, rolling her eyes, and she chuckles.

"Do not roll your eyes at me," he mutters, but he is half hearted as he smiles brightly. "I didn't think I would ever get to say that to you." Colette seems to melt at his words, all frustration regarding me fading away as she takes in this little, yet huge moment with her dad.

A knock at the door interrupts us and Ezrah shows himself in, giving me a courteous nod as he looks to Caspian.

He tells him

recall

and clears her throat. "I-um-I believe they are here

look at her, startled, and

grins. "I have showed both Penny

events to

own safety for that

and moving over toward Colette. I rest my hand on the back of her chair, looking down

to my very core. I can feel the slight tinge of heat

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Chapter 40

on the premises?" Ezrah asks, drawing my attention. and breaking my

heavily.

was used." He says, then he drags and hand down his face as he leans forward. "Since no magic can be used, he was unable to

the charms until

over to me before he clears his throat and bows his head. I can see he wants to say more, to mention things, but with being a messenger, often his opinions and thoughts

are you thinking?" I ask him. And he

feels like

is shocking, to say the least. Colette's hand slides into mine and gives it a gentle squeeze, as if she understands my exact

asks, a brow arched in amusement. Caspian frowns at him before he rolls his eyes, then

his throat.

aware of the things you are capable of learning and overhearing, so I am curious to know your thoughts about all of this. Including my new found trust in these two."

comment about trusting us.

Merikh," He asserts

am well

clears his throat, looking a little uncomfortable before he squares

into things... seeing things." He finally says, looking me in the eye like he is trying to tell

things happening in the world up here that I do not pretend

know about."

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Chapter 40

his brows together in question and motions for

to make extinct other kinds." He

him, shocked. Ezrah's face pales and he licks his lips as

from reading or looking at the items I deliver, but..." he clears his throat. "If a letter

his voice raising as

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