Chapter 40

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*Merikh'

Colette laughs with her father as I sit in the far corner, watching as she wipes water from her blouse. She looks so happy and at ease as she manipulates the water, trying to get it to shake, rather than splash. Caspian Was thrilled when we arrived, his hands shaky as he tried to tamp down his smile, but it's glaringly obvious he is

excited.

If I didn't know that they were related, I would almost be jealous. Okay, that's a lie. I am jealous, but not of the relationship they are building. She looks at him with wonder and relief. It's like knowing a part of what she is, where she comes from, has brought to life a side of her I may never get to experience. All I get are side ways glances and the occasional scowl.

I mean, sure, when we are around the others I get to sneak little moments and convince myself she feels the same pull I do. It's damn hard holding her hand or kissing her shoulder knowing that to her it's an act. For me, it's a taste of what I screwed myself out of. Like an addict carrying in drug of choice in his pocket with never really being able to consume it.

It makes me itchy and irritable to be away from her emotionally. That barrier she keeps up. The damn thing slides into place the second our bedroom door closes. It goes from equator hot to arctic icy. And it's not like I know how to fix it. Apologizing is all I can do and swear I will never do it again, and that I have no more secrets, but what good is a promise if the person making it has proven they can't keep them?

I sigh heavily, fiddling with the bolting on the edging of the armchair, and then I look up, feeling a heavy gaze. She blinks at me, tilting her head and for a moment her brows furrow, like she might be worried about me. Then she seems to wake up and her eyes harden before she looks back at Caspian.

"I think that's enough for now. I have to admit, I'm tired now." She says. He gives her a soft smile and motions for *her to take a seat.

"Will you stay for dinner with me?" He asks, and she shakes her head.

"The amount of time we spend together will draw attention," I remind him, and he sighs knowingly.

"You have a point." then he looks between us. "Have you two discussed things yet?"

Colette chuckles dryly, looking at the shuttered window and shaking her head.

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"What is there to discuss?" She asks, and her words hit me in the gut. Is this how she felt every time I would refuse to hear her out? "Your mark." He says, giving her a pointed frown. "Or rather, the lack thereof."

"Caspian," she sighs, rolling her eyes, and she chuckles.

"Do not roll your eyes at me," he mutters, but he is half hearted as he smiles brightly. "I didn't think I would ever get to say that to you." Colette seems to melt at his words, all frustration regarding me fading away as she takes in this little, yet huge moment with her dad.

A knock at the door interrupts us and Ezrah shows himself in, giving me a courteous nod as he looks to Caspian.

visitors," He tells him and Caspian

recall

Colette seems startled, and looks over at me and clears her throat. "I-um-I believe they are here

look at her, startled, and then she smiles

grins. "I have showed

"I suppose that in light of the recent unfortunate events to your other gamma, another arriving in his stead makes sense." "Will

to your own safety for that reason." He bites out, looking up at Ezrah, who looks mildly

rest

my heart stutters in my chest, her deep brown eyes gaze straight in to my very core. I can feel the slight tinge of heat in my cheeks that her innocent stare brings, but I can't find the strength to look

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Chapter 40

and breaking my eye contact with Colette.

heavily.

magic was used." He says, then he drags and hand down his face as he leans forward. "Since no magic can be used, he was unable to heal

until

eyes skirting over to me before he clears his throat and bows his head. I can see he wants to say more, to mention things, but with being a messenger, often his opinions and thoughts are disregarded. But in all my years knowing the guy, I have felt he

thinking?" I ask him. And he shakes

says, and it feels like I was struck across the

sense. But admitting it to someone else is shocking, to say the least. Colette's hand slides into mine and gives it a gentle squeeze, as if she understands my

you?" Ezrah asks, a brow arched in amusement. Caspian frowns at him before he rolls

his throat.

you are capable of learning and overhearing, so I am curious to know your thoughts

comment about trusting us.

have long respected Alpha Merikh," He asserts and Caspian

am well

looking a little uncomfortable before he squares

without running into things... seeing things." He finally says, looking me in the eye like he is trying

I do not pretend to think

know about."

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Chapter 40

his brows together in question and

make extinct other kinds." He says softly and

ask him, shocked. Ezrah's face pales and he

from reading or looking at the items I deliver, but..." he clears his throat. "If a letter

me now." Caspian says, his

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