Chapter 40

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*Merikh'

Colette laughs with her father as I sit in the far corner, watching as she wipes water from her blouse. She looks so happy and at ease as she manipulates the water, trying to get it to shake, rather than splash. Caspian Was thrilled when we arrived, his hands shaky as he tried to tamp down his smile, but it's glaringly obvious he is

excited.

If I didn't know that they were related, I would almost be jealous. Okay, that's a lie. I am jealous, but not of the relationship they are building. She looks at him with wonder and relief. It's like knowing a part of what she is, where she comes from, has brought to life a side of her I may never get to experience. All I get are side ways glances and the occasional scowl.

I mean, sure, when we are around the others I get to sneak little moments and convince myself she feels the same pull I do. It's damn hard holding her hand or kissing her shoulder knowing that to her it's an act. For me, it's a taste of what I screwed myself out of. Like an addict carrying in drug of choice in his pocket with never really being able to consume it.

It makes me itchy and irritable to be away from her emotionally. That barrier she keeps up. The damn thing slides into place the second our bedroom door closes. It goes from equator hot to arctic icy. And it's not like I know how to fix it. Apologizing is all I can do and swear I will never do it again, and that I have no more secrets, but what good is a promise if the person making it has proven they can't keep them?

I sigh heavily, fiddling with the bolting on the edging of the armchair, and then I look up, feeling a heavy gaze. She blinks at me, tilting her head and for a moment her brows furrow, like she might be worried about me. Then she seems to wake up and her eyes harden before she looks back at Caspian.

"I think that's enough for now. I have to admit, I'm tired now." She says. He gives her a soft smile and motions for *her to take a seat.

"Will you stay for dinner with me?" He asks, and she shakes her head.

"The amount of time we spend together will draw attention," I remind him, and he sighs knowingly.

"You have a point." then he looks between us. "Have you two discussed things yet?"

Colette chuckles dryly, looking at the shuttered window and shaking her head.

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"What is there to discuss?" She asks, and her words hit me in the gut. Is this how she felt every time I would refuse to hear her out? "Your mark." He says, giving her a pointed frown. "Or rather, the lack thereof."

"Caspian," she sighs, rolling her eyes, and she chuckles.

"Do not roll your eyes at me," he mutters, but he is half hearted as he smiles brightly. "I didn't think I would ever get to say that to you." Colette seems to melt at his words, all frustration regarding me fading away as she takes in this little, yet huge moment with her dad.

A knock at the door interrupts us and Ezrah shows himself in, giving me a courteous nod as he looks to Caspian.

a few visitors," He tells

recall

Colette seems startled, and looks over at me and clears her throat. "I-um-I believe

at her, startled, and then she

much." He grins. "I have showed

"I suppose that in light of the recent unfortunate events to your other gamma, another arriving in his stead makes sense." "Will the others not throw a fit?" I ask, arching

in our sanctuary, and you are entitled to your own safety

say, standing and moving over toward Colette. I rest

heart stutters in my chest, her deep brown eyes gaze straight in to my very core. I can feel the slight tinge of heat

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Chapter 40

breaking my eye

heavily.

down his face as he leans forward. "Since no

charms until her is

I can see he wants to say more, to mention things, but with being a messenger, often his opinions and thoughts are disregarded.

ask him. And he

Ezrah, I trust these two." Capsian says, and it feels like I was struck across the face to wake

sense. But admitting it to someone else is shocking, to say the least. Colette's hand slides into mine and gives it a gentle squeeze, as if

brow arched in amusement. Caspian frowns

his throat.

so I am curious to know your thoughts about all of this. Including my new found trust in these two." Caspian says, choosing to ignore

comment about trusting us.

long respected Alpha Merikh," He asserts and Caspian

well aware

looking a little uncomfortable before he squares his

into things... seeing things." He finally says, looking

in the world up here that I do

know about."

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Chapter 40

brows together in question and motions for him to

extinct other kinds." He says softly and

just now bringing this up?" I ask him, shocked. Ezrah's face pales and he licks his lips as if mentioning anything more might

at the items I deliver, but..." he clears his throat. "If

Caspian says, his voice raising

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