*Colette*

I yank the covers over my head, my knees pulling up as I struggle to keep myself from breaking into tears. Merikh has been the only thing keeping them at bay. He is my strength even when he doesn't try. His very presence brings me a calm, but since he has left me I feel like I have nothing else to think about but what I am missing.

Well, more like who I am missing, both of them.

I didn't have them for long, yet it felt like forever as the memories I once lost or repressed come flooding back with every passing second I live in a world without them.

Merikh's distress breaks through our mate bond, his emotions overwhelming as his worry for Hayes melds with my own. I toss my blanket off, jumping up and grabbing a robe before I fly out of the room.

My knees give out as I stumble into the wall, an arm grabbing my elbow as I am pulled up. I meet a frowning freckled face when I look up and Percy releases me.

"Where are you heading to, Luna?" He asks. "You should be resting."

"Merikh needs me," I tell him and though he looks unpleased, he silently leads the way, looking over his shoulder to indicate that I should follow him.

"I take it he heard Beta Hayes' nightmare and went to check on him?" He asks.

"We both did," I admit, tugging my robe tighter as I recall the way his voice broke through even my most exhausted state of sleep. "Have you seen him?"

"Beta Hayes?" he asks, slowing down so I can walk next to him. My legs feel wobbly with every step. What I need is sleep and a day in the healing waters again. And Merikh.

"Yeah," I say, recalling just how terrible Hayes looked when we checked on him before going to our room. Guilt prickles at my neck. I should want Merikh to be at his brother's side, but the selfish, hurting part of me wants him with me at all times.

Percy exhales, his hand sliding through his red hair as he nods and he makes a worried face.

"His loss is different from ours." He says softly. "He has not only lost his mate, but a part of himself. Those scars will not heal. They will be a constant reminder of how he feels he failed her."

"I know," I admit. "But I have never seen someone alive looking so close to death."

"Losing a mate is incredibly hard to recover from." Percy says, "Or so I am told. All I know is Alpha Merikh is the only person to know both yours and Hayes' pain."

It's like he can see through me. Like Percy knows exactly what thoughts rival in my head as I look at the ground and struggle with my emotions.

my voice betraying me as it cracks. I clear my throat and roll

both are doing in a few days' time." He offers me a

hallway, startling me as I jump. Percy takes a small step in front of me as if waiting for an attack, but nothing happens. Hushed angry voices seem to come from the same room as I press

in a pained tone. His voice is full of sadness. "You aren't

I enter the doorway, I witness Hayes, throwing his hands in anger before he turns to the wall and throws his head back in a wrenching scream that

the wall, his bandaged hand and other fist breaking holes into the smooth surface, dust dispersing with every strike. He howls out in

his forehead to the fractured wall. "I fucking hate

and softer growing sobs able to be heard as Merikh stands behind him, arms at his side lost for

you to hurt yourself, or worse, kill yourself." Merikh says, his words sounding distant as if they aren't really for Hayes but for himself. A reminder of why he is putting his brother through whatever

down. "How many times must I tell you? I want to be dead.

both sides together tightly. Merikh walks around to the side of the bed nearest Hayes,

the way he wrestles with doing what he thinks is best and what his brother wants. Merikh has

anger and self hatred. He turns to glance at me, his right eyes red and puffy as he blinks, his other eye bandage over, but I can see the streak where the tears

bringing your mate

dead mate will help?" Hayes says in a dead tone. He glides a glance to his brother. "Would you let me have her for a night

up in

the room radiating with his anger and his alpha aura. "You are in pain and mourning, so

will what?" he asks

wince in his eye before he grins maliciously. "You'll kill me? In that case, come hop on Colette, take this beta for a

in

me.

only person who lost someone," I rush out, grabbing Merikh's hand, holding him

He hisses, as he rights himself on the bed, groaning in pain, his body shaking from

us deal with grief a little more gracefully." I tell him with a frown. He glances away,

watched Leandra get tortured to death," he growls, shooting me a

to do to save us all, so my parents stepped in

mine as he slowly nods, a tear racing down his smooth cheek. He lets it fall before he looks

won't let me die

him. "He alpha ordered me not to kill myself or allow myself to get killed. I just got her and

as I

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