*Colette*

I yank the covers over my head, my knees pulling up as I struggle to keep myself from breaking into tears. Merikh has been the only thing keeping them at bay. He is my strength even when he doesn't try. His very presence brings me a calm, but since he has left me I feel like I have nothing else to think about but what I am missing.

Well, more like who I am missing, both of them.

I didn't have them for long, yet it felt like forever as the memories I once lost or repressed come flooding back with every passing second I live in a world without them.

Merikh's distress breaks through our mate bond, his emotions overwhelming as his worry for Hayes melds with my own. I toss my blanket off, jumping up and grabbing a robe before I fly out of the room.

My knees give out as I stumble into the wall, an arm grabbing my elbow as I am pulled up. I meet a frowning freckled face when I look up and Percy releases me.

"Where are you heading to, Luna?" He asks. "You should be resting."

"Merikh needs me," I tell him and though he looks unpleased, he silently leads the way, looking over his shoulder to indicate that I should follow him.

"I take it he heard Beta Hayes' nightmare and went to check on him?" He asks.

"We both did," I admit, tugging my robe tighter as I recall the way his voice broke through even my most exhausted state of sleep. "Have you seen him?"

"Beta Hayes?" he asks, slowing down so I can walk next to him. My legs feel wobbly with every step. What I need is sleep and a day in the healing waters again. And Merikh.

"Yeah," I say, recalling just how terrible Hayes looked when we checked on him before going to our room. Guilt prickles at my neck. I should want Merikh to be at his brother's side, but the selfish, hurting part of me wants him with me at all times.

Percy exhales, his hand sliding through his red hair as he nods and he makes a worried face.

"His loss is different from ours." He says softly. "He has not only lost his mate, but a part of himself. Those scars will not heal. They will be a constant reminder of how he feels he failed her."

"I know," I admit. "But I have never seen someone alive looking so close to death."

"Losing a mate is incredibly hard to recover from." Percy says, "Or so I am told. All I know is Alpha Merikh is the only person to know both yours and Hayes' pain."

It's like he can see through me. Like Percy knows exactly what thoughts rival in my head as I look at the ground and struggle with my emotions.

my voice betraying me as it cracks. I clear my throat and

are doing

small step in front of me as if waiting for an attack, but nothing happens. Hushed angry voices seem to come from

fucking want," Merikh says in a pained tone. His voice is full of

enter the doorway, I witness Hayes, throwing his hands in anger before he turns to the wall

the smooth surface, dust dispersing with every strike. He howls out

Hayes cries out, pressing his forehead to the fractured wall. "I fucking hate

silence everything, only this heavy breathing and softer growing sobs able to be heard as

worse, kill yourself." Merikh says, his words sounding distant as if they aren't really for Hayes but for himself. A reminder of why he is putting his brother

many times must I tell you? I want to be dead. I deserve to

wide collar of the robe and I squeeze both sides together tightly. Merikh walks around to the side of the bed nearest Hayes, and he slumps onto

his brother wants. Merikh has lost a brother, even though he sits here

right eyes red and puffy as

think bringing your mate

to his brother. "Would you let me have her for a night if you thought it would

up in an

alpha aura. "You are in pain and mourning, so I will let such a

will what?" he asks with

wetting his lip, a small wince in his eye before he grins maliciously. "You'll kill me? In that case, come hop

and grabs Hayes by the throat, his hand sliding over the sensitive blister skin. Hayes grunts in pain, but

me.

lost someone," I rush out, grabbing Merikh's hand, holding

on the bed, groaning in pain, his body shaking from the

us deal with grief a little more gracefully." I tell him with a frown. He glances

watched Leandra get tortured to death," he growls,

us all, so my

a tear racing down his smooth

won't let me die

the side as I move-over to him. "He alpha ordered me not to kill myself or allow myself to get killed.

sting my eyes as

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