*Hayes*

"You should get some rest too, Hayes." Marcos says.

I know he is looking out for me; he is the healer and someone I would almost consider a friend if I had intentions for friendly attachments. But every time I look at him, I find myself envious where I never was.

Kyra has turned me into someone who cares when she looks at me. How can I both crave and hate her gaze? How can she make me jealous of another man who has nothing? I know the reason. It's because he at least has a fucking face. But the fact that it bothers me so much...that is what's so infuriating.

"Hayes?" Dean says, touching my shoulder, dragging me from my thoughts as I glare up at him.

"What?"

"Marcos is right. You are better use to us all if you are rested. You seem more lost in your head than you usually are."

I sigh, and turn back toward the fire, pinching the bridge of my nose before squeezing my eyes closed.

"Being lost in my mind is preferable to being lost in my nightmares, Dean. You know how that goes." I mutter.

"I can help you sleep, Hayes," Marcos offers, and I look down at Kyra, who pretends to be asleep, his hand gently rubbing up and down her back. The simple, sweet gesture makes me want to rip his fingers off.

"I don't want your drugs, Marcos." I snap at him before I stand and walk over to the door.

"Where are you going?" Kyra's voice squeaks, no doubt, as she spins to look at my back. And for whatever reason, her caring brings a smirk to my face.

"To sleep where a dog like me belongs." I tell her, not bothering to look back before I exit through the rickety door.

Koda looks up from his spot, tilting his head to the right.

"Too stuffy in there, huh?" He asks, but I ignore him looking for a dry enough spot to lie down.

The second I find something remotely dry, I lower myself and stare up at the barely standing roof. It shakes as rain patters down. I wonder just how damn long the clouds sustain this type of downpour?

The moment it lets up, she is going to leave. And knowing how she is these days, she will likely try to sneak off and proclaim it is what she was taught to do. I snort as I turn onto my side, my arm under my head to keep it from the slightly damp, rotting wood. "Hayes," Koda says, more of a question if I am awake or asleep, which I should be.

"What?" I mumble with a heavy exhale..

ask you something?" His words are hushed as I hear him

of me. I arch a brow in interest. Koda has no problem speaking his mind when he wants to, but this desperation in his voice is different. He never asks before he

it?" I ask him and

He murmurs, looking

I say the words he is struggling to get out. Instead of growing angry like I thought I would in a situation like this, I find myself more open to

to be here, in this group anymore, but I was hoping you

have already discussed this and marked each

grow wide and he shakes his head, then he drags his hand

exhales. "I refuse to sleep with her unless I know she is

on the wood, annoyed. Why the fuck is he asking permission if he knows the rules and what

want to mate, that is fine, but the

was

was one Merikh also suggested.

behind it,

life they

chosen or fated, they should be with them, fully

bond with Leandra and then

us.

and she agrees with his feelings, then they should remove themselves from the dangers of this mission and go and actually have a

frown, feeling the need to explain it to

you understand my reasoning, right?" I ask

will keep her at arm's length until the end of the mission." Koda says,

her and you both decide what to do

moment before he clears

with Kyra?" he asks,

"I mean it, Koda. Kyra was a friend once, a long time ago. But now she is

or see what he might be seeing, and then he elbows me. "Smells like bullshit, doesn't it?" He grins. I

tightly and then drop my head,

woman looks like

is not the same.

was soft-spoken, sweet, and easy to love. My biggest

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