Someone shoves on my shoulder, making me groan as I drag my heavy eyelids open. I jolt away from Merikh's face that is far too close for comfort, an annoying grin on his face. My brows pull together and I frown at him, reaching up and shoving his face away. "He's alive," He pronounces to the empty room and I roll my eyes.

"What do you want?" I ask him, and he shrugs, just moseying his way around the room.

"Can't a guy check in on his baby brother?" He asks, and I scoff.

"You came to just check on me?" I ask him and he nods.

"Actually, yes, I did," He says sticking his hands in his pockets. "I knew you weren't going to die on us, but three days of sleep does seem excessive and everyone was convinced you just needed the rest. Me? Not so much."

"I am healing a broken leg and other injuries." I remind him, wincing when my hand begins to tingle and burn. "Ugh," I grunt, lifting the freshly bandage limb.

"How is it feeling?" He asks, finally looking serious.

"Partially numb and partially painful." I shrug, noticing a difference in length.

Panic rises in my chest as I swallow roughly and lift both arms. The unmistakable size difference hits me hard as I grow teary-eyed and unable to breathe. The healer had mentioned the possibility of amputation, but I figured they would give me the time to heal first. "Kyra tried to stop the healer, if it makes you feel any better. She insisted we wake you up to speak with you about it."

I scoff, shaking my head before I drop my arms and slam my head back into the pillow.

"Might have been nice to have a say in it." I mutter, and he frowns before he walks over and takes a seat on the bed.

"Hayes, Kyra did try to wake you up, but there was already an infection setting in and you were out because of it... It was my call to move forward." He frowns and I can see the guilt and the lie on his face. "It was Kyra." I say softly.

"No, it was me." He insists, and I give him a look, which makes him glance away and exhale.

"I am not stupid, Merikh and no amount of time can make me forget how you look when you try to protect someone else."

"She was against it at first..." He sighs and shakes his head. "But when you wouldn't wake up, that's when she panicked. She hasn't slept since you went to bed, between Tiago and her worry for you..." "She made the right call." I whisper, looking at where my hand used to be, a dull ache in my chest as I try to weigh the emotional toll this will all have.

"She did," He agrees, but he keeps his eyes trained on me as if looking for something more. I roll my eyes and sigh.

"What?" I ask and he shrugs.

but ill placed. At least, right now. Until the time comes that I have processed what I have lost, then I will need people to lean

young child have to learn to understand the meaning of life and death." "You can't shield them from

mumbles, lifting his hand and rubbing the back of

I ask, my brow arching up as he looks at

struggling." He

could you not be? This war took many lives, but a lot of

along, agreeing with

so many more than you know, Hayes. In the two years you were off trying to

licking my

the anger

along. One thing

know will never change is when

tits

infor

this too long, understanding of my hurt and self loathing for too long. Now he has hit his limit and I know

nothing?" I ask, knowingly stoking the flames of his

them because you were

opening them again. "In a way it was, but that was just the surface of

I am trying so hard to let go of my anger and hurt from the past two years, heavens knows I am trying, but Hayes, you

down as I force myself to remain calm and understand where he is coming from. Merikh and I were all we had, and then Colette came and she became family. I thought he

left because I

died

I needed to

to

hell could I protect you or any of I your future

one person I was meant to protect? Merikh, she didn't just

cheeks and I wipe

my nub of

falling and that look of sympathy I used to hate so much taking over. Only

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