Someone shoves on my shoulder, making me groan as I drag my heavy eyelids open. I jolt away from Merikh's face that is far too close for comfort, an annoying grin on his face. My brows pull together and I frown at him, reaching up and shoving his face away. "He's alive," He pronounces to the empty room and I roll my eyes.

"What do you want?" I ask him, and he shrugs, just moseying his way around the room.

"Can't a guy check in on his baby brother?" He asks, and I scoff.

"You came to just check on me?" I ask him and he nods.

"Actually, yes, I did," He says sticking his hands in his pockets. "I knew you weren't going to die on us, but three days of sleep does seem excessive and everyone was convinced you just needed the rest. Me? Not so much."

"I am healing a broken leg and other injuries." I remind him, wincing when my hand begins to tingle and burn. "Ugh," I grunt, lifting the freshly bandage limb.

"How is it feeling?" He asks, finally looking serious.

"Partially numb and partially painful." I shrug, noticing a difference in length.

Panic rises in my chest as I swallow roughly and lift both arms. The unmistakable size difference hits me hard as I grow teary-eyed and unable to breathe. The healer had mentioned the possibility of amputation, but I figured they would give me the time to heal first. "Kyra tried to stop the healer, if it makes you feel any better. She insisted we wake you up to speak with you about it."

I scoff, shaking my head before I drop my arms and slam my head back into the pillow.

"Might have been nice to have a say in it." I mutter, and he frowns before he walks over and takes a seat on the bed.

"Hayes, Kyra did try to wake you up, but there was already an infection setting in and you were out because of it... It was my call to move forward." He frowns and I can see the guilt and the lie on his face. "It was Kyra." I say softly.

"No, it was me." He insists, and I give him a look, which makes him glance away and exhale.

"I am not stupid, Merikh and no amount of time can make me forget how you look when you try to protect someone else."

"She was against it at first..." He sighs and shakes his head. "But when you wouldn't wake up, that's when she panicked. She hasn't slept since you went to bed, between Tiago and her worry for you..." "She made the right call." I whisper, looking at where my hand used to be, a dull ache in my chest as I try to weigh the emotional toll this will all have.

"She did," He agrees, but he keeps his eyes trained on me as if looking for something more. I roll my eyes and sigh.

"What?" I ask and he shrugs.

moving but ill placed. At least, right now. Until the time comes that I have processed what I

are unharmed and unphased." He says, looking sad. "Both a curse and a blessing at times of war where young child have to learn to understand the meaning of life and death." "You can't shield them from everything

of

he looks

struggling."

lot of good came from it too.

along, agreeing with

He groans, standing up as he paces away. "We lost so many more than you know, Hayes. In the two

chuckle dryly, licking my lips.

the anger have

along. One

will never change is when he is

tits

infor

hurt and self loathing for too long. Now he has

was doing nothing?" I ask, knowingly stoking

it. But you had duties too. You walked away from them because you were heartbroken." He says, his voice calm, but I can

tightly before opening them again. "In a way it was, but that was just the surface

and hurt from the past two years, heavens knows I am trying, but Hayes, you disappeared within yourself and then reemerged when you found your new mate. Are you here because

understand where he is coming from. Merikh and I were all we had, and then Colette came and she became family. I thought he would

because I

died because

needed to

deserved to be a beta.

protect you or any of I your future children

Merikh, she didn't just die, she suffered

my cheeks and

my nub of

his face falling and that look of sympathy I used to hate so much taking over. Only this time

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